To think this is torturing single people?

[VirtualHugsAllRound]

Even if it's intermittent lockdown and social distancing... Both mean you're not supposed to meet with family and friends.
If you live alone this is torture. Isolation is used as torture/punishment fgs!
We're always being shown that families are more important, that we've failed by not having a partner and reproducing. Now we are expected to live in isolation for months on end.
And at the end of it, no one is going to say "well done for undergoing months of torture to protect others" or support us with healing from the trauma this will cause. As usual, just expected to suck it up.

I cant do this.

[BeijingBikini]

OP, I would go somewhere else for support because MN is good for robust debate but rubbish for actual support unless you
a) have an abusive/cheating husband
b) just had a baby and can't cope
c) someone died

Any other reason and someone will pipe up and tell you that some people are homeless so you should just get over it.

[Catconfusion]

OP I just wanted to say I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. From some of the harsh comments on here, I don’t think some people know how lonely living on your own can be and how detrimental to your mental health it can get when you don’t have human contact for long periods of time.

It sounds like you’re doing the best you can which is all you can do. Please know this will end and you’ll come out the other side stronger. Having lived on my own for several years as a single person I can completely appreciate how awful it is during a time like this. I agree single people should be given credit.

Please keep safe and reach out to friends and family via technology as much as you can. I’ve been thinking a lot about people on their own recently. If this had happened a couple of years ago, I’d have been in the same boat and I don’t know how I would have coped. It’s important though op to muddle through. Life will go on and your life can completely change very quickly when this is over! Xx

[SchadenfreudePersonified]

I totally understand nobody thinks of the single people, we will just be told if you weren't so fussy you wouldnt be in this situation

And not all people are single by choice - some have been abandoned, some have been widowed, others have had their confidence destroyed, or hearts broken and find it hard to trust . . .

But as regards being fussy - you are right to be fussy!

Never settle for second best, and never agree to be someone else's second best. You are worth so much more.

[lowlandLucky]

OP I know it is hard but none of us are having a ball, my 87 year old Dad is stuck indoors and has been for the last year. He is in the early stages of dementia. You can use skype, facetime etc to keep in touch, he cant ! Try looking at what you can do and not what you cant do

[CoffeeRevelLove]

Volunteer for the NHS and have a purpose. It'll help

[Redwinestillfine]

It's shit for everyone, we just have to make the best if it. The grass is always greener. We should be supporting each other. Not competing for who has it worst.

[Pipandmum]

Try HouseParty app where you can have a number of friends on at the same tme. I had a virtual coffee morning this way.
And it's not months on end. And you can go for a walk.
But if you feel like this is affecting your mental health reach out - there are organisations that can help.

[helgahelga]

@VirtualHugsAllRound

I am a very weird person as I have ASD.

You are NOT WEIRD! Grrrrrr! Don't say that!

You are lovely, compassionate, emotional, and caring, and a wonderful person.

There's an ad on TV (can't remember what it's for) that states 'there are over seven and a half billion versions of normal on this planet...'

Never a truer word was spoken

Have some more flowers And keep chatting to us on here.

[WelcomeToShootingStars]

All you're being asked to do is spend some time just staying at home, reading, watching TV, doing some fitness regimes etc for what is a very short period of time.

You can call people, you have social media at your fingertips and can videocall with anyone around the world.

Meanwhile people are dying because of folk who find just staying at home too damn difficult.

I know where my sympathies are.

[Casualbride]

Volunteering is a great idea, win win for you and your community.
Also having a daily schedule to follow. And remembering that this isn’t forever.
There is nothing to say that in the future you won’t be in a happy loving relationship, going out and about with your friends etc. it’s not like hope is lost. This is temporary.

[SudokuQueen]

Yeah I would say volunteer too. My community is looking for people to deliver meals, deliver prescriptions, you could just phone other lonely people and chat. Gets you out a bit and you meet other people. Helps in the long run.

[SilverySurfer]

thepeopleversuswork

I wish I had written your post, you have perfectly described how I feel. I simply don't understand someone saying being single is torture. You read threads on here every single day describing how ghastly people's lives are because of the other person in their life. That to me is torture.

I was describing how I was shocked at finding a couple of policemen in my garden knocking on my patio door (wrong address) yesterday to a person I know and her response was "Serves you right for living alone." I was so shocked and challenged her and she backed down, ha ha, just kidding. WTF?

The bottom line is only you can decide how you live your life. You can either enjoy life to the full or sink in a quagmire of self made misery - I know which I prefer.

[BodiesMakeForGoodFertiliser]

If you think being single is hard due to judgment of society. Try to be intentionally child free married woman in your 30s

On a serious note.

Video calls. Video calls. Video calls. It's not "it" but it is something. Open windows wide, get fresh air in, have a radio on or a tv in a background. Paint. Sew. Write. Clean. Reclean. Do a MacGyver. That's now my fave thing. I go around the house and create random crap from random crap😂

[JustInCaseCakeHappens]

It's difficult for everybody. The simple fact that you are on this forum means you are not that isolated at all.

You are being completely dramatic and quite distasteful. Staying home pottering around with internet access is NOT torture. You are perfectly free not to consider that a vacation (I really don't, can't stand the concept of "staycation ), but let's not get over-dramatic shall we.

Struggling to get food is a pain in the ass, true.

Don't be so entitled as talking about "torture" when you see what others are going through because you can chill in your home.

[2020newme]

I am sorry you are suffering with poor MH OP but I think the title of your post is misleading as it implies your issues are to do with being single.

I am single by choice and am not having any issues (other than the wobbles I am sure we all have at the moment)

In fact I just came back from my corner shop where I went to get bread and milk, and had a run in with a very aggressive man who reacted badly when I asked him very politely if he wouldn't mind standing a bit further away from me (as he was about six inches, not six feet) and as I left I thought, some poor cow is probably living with that piece of shit all locked up for the foreseeable.

Some men are wonderful partners and brilliant to have around in the lockdown, I don't doubt that. But to claim it's so awful just because you are single is very short sighted.

I hope you find a way forwards

[BeijingBikini]

only you can decide how you live your life. You can either enjoy life to the full or sink in a quagmire of self made misery

Ah yes because depressed people are just CHOOSING to be like that, and if they just decided to be happy they could magic themselves out of it.

[MadamePewter]

OP I totally get it abd don’t think you’re bring unreasonable but in here just now a mania for leaping on anyone who dares to say they’re finding it hard and beating them with tales of ingratitude and how hard a time they are having. It’s horrible. Compassion has gone pretty much out the window. There is, how ever, a nice thread I found yesterday about the toll this takes on mental health. It’s a scary and weird enough time anyway and being stuck home alone gives so much time to dwell. Yes, I have loads of Improving Things I could be doing but I’m struggling and find it hard to concentrate far less learn Cantonese whilst whipping up a linseed loaf.

[ravenmum]

I'll say "Well done" if you like :D
Post again when we're allowed out or send me a message and I will congratulate you for getting through it, sounds lilke it is a lot harder for you than me so I will be suitably impressed!

I'm also here alone, but I have been living alone since 2018, and working from home since 2005, so it is not quite as new for me. And I still have work to do, to keep me busy.
Having said that, even I have already noticed a difference between low contact with other people and no contact with other people.

If you haven't already done it, I'd suggest doing more research into coping strategies and then making it your current task to apply them. The research might also keep you occupied.

[MadamePewter]

Apologies for typos.. I was a bit cross 😃.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/coronavirus/3859105-CV-shows-that-a-lot-of-people-really-don-t-understand-mental-illness

[TheHonestTruth100]

I'm in the same position of living on my own, single, facing not seeing anyone I know for months.

It is hard. I completely agree it's hard. But I think it would also be very hard if I had to worry about a partner who was working in A&E endlessly risking their lives and trying to save others, or if I was a single mum who then had to look after kids at home and work at the same time, or if I was stuck in a house with someone that I didn't want to be stuck in a house with.

It's very difficult for everyone. Yes we'll get very lonely but on the plus side I've got loads of time to spend on some hobbies I've been neglecting now. It will end eventually and things will get back to normal.

Try to stay positive OP. You can do this

[CarolHasAnotherUTI]

If you live alone this is torture

That may be your experience, it's certainly not mine.

I am choosing to be productive, connected, engaged and active, despite living alone (and currently not leaving the house at all due to having symptoms).

If you look at it as torture, it will be.

I'm not saying I'll always find it easy, but there's no way this is anything closer to torture. Not even a little bit.

[JoMumsnet]

Hi VirtualHugsAllRound,

We hope you don't mind but we thought we'd add a link to this webpage from Mind.org - coronavirus and your wellbeing. They've put together lots of useful information for anyone who's feeling anxious or struggling to cope right now, with lots of practical tips on taking care of your mental health and wellbeing, and ideas on how to stay connected with people. Please do take a look.

Here too, for anyone who may need it, is a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website or email them on [email protected] or call, free, anytime, on 116 123. Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you'll all be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but it's a good idea to seek real life help and support as well.

Take care, everyone.

[MadamePewter]

Oh fuck @RupaulsHagface that’s awful awful timing. I know how that feels without all this and that was just horrendous. 💐

[Amymayapple]

Isolation has always been used in history as a form of torture.

It is NOT good for people to isolate this way, and I hate our Government for imposing such severe restrictions on people.

It is especially damaging for people with mental health issues. I know people who are becoming very, very depressed.

If you limit people's freedom. It is going to make them upset and depressed. Anywhere.

[izzywizzygood]

Wow, some nasty posts on here. Hope you're ok @VirtualHugsAllRound.
You can get through this. And what I think you will find at the end of this period is that single people are equipped to cope better with this isolation. Hell, it seems some people can't even cope with their kids just days into this lockdown! (moan, moan, moan aren't they!) Take heart, you'll be ok, and you will manage. Please ignore all the spiteful posts.