My DH is a key worker (critical front line services - think coordinating efforts against covid) and he was having to go into work. We could have put both our kids into nursery, but chose not to in line with the rules. Both kids nursery age but 3 years apart so very difficult to keep both suitably “schooled” at the same time.
Despite being at work, distancing requirements meant my DH was phoning into meetings and not actually seeing many people. We discussed how I was unhappy he was going in, in terms of infection risk and the load of all childcare falling to me, after the PMs stay at home announcement and he formulated a plan for him / his team to wfh. Each now only has to attend the office for one different day each week.
The nature of his role however means that he needs to be fully engaged and “at work” during the day. It is time critical. He is not being lazy by working up there.
However, we worked out a plan so he gets up with the kids and looks after them till 8:30, then he goes to work in an upstairs room, then comes down for lunch so I can go upstairs to work for 2 hours, then we swap until 5. He will also come down to help if he does get any down time.
On his office day, he does any shopping needed.
We share night wakings. We also share house jobs. I am the higher earner but also have more flexibility in terms on when my work can be done.
This situation arose because I opened my mouth, explained my concerns and required that he work with me to get through this. People need to do likewise and not let the SO get away with being lazy. If your SO lacks the respect for you to do this, I’d be seriously considering the future I’m my relationship. That sounds a bit like he was forced into this btw, but he actually asked me what I needed to make it work. We came up with our plan together.