that this whole crisis shows that EVERYONE ought to learn how to use technology?

[WhatTheHellHappenedArgh]

Just that really. I have divorced grandparents, both in their 80s. My gran uses whatsapp, shops online, has a laptop, has broadband internet. Obviously it's shitty for her not being able to go out right now but she was able to get all her shopping delivered no bother, can chat to us on skype/facetime, can use social media etc. So it has massively helped with her loneliness.

My grandfather, OTOH, who has a long term respiratory problem, has point blank refused to ever have the internet, learn how to use a mobile phone etc. With the result that he's now feeling extremely lonely and cut off from the rest of the world and we don't live anywhere near him so are unable to offer any practical help. Have to rely on volunteers which he hates and because he had no online shopping accounts we were unable to get him any slots at all.

I see it frequently on here that "old" people don't know how to use the internet, can't online shop etc, and my question is why? Isn't it incredibly patronising to assume they're incapable of doing and learning any of the above? And wouldn't have been so much better for them, in the middle of this current shower of shit, if they could?

You do have a point Leaannb. But you wouldn't advertise that you need help. That would be a stupid thing to do. Our community Facebook pages are run by people I actually know, not random strangers, and I know that they have people's best interests at heart.

Our parish council has put a notice up outside the pub asking people to contact them if they need help as well, and I have emailed our vicar to offer my services to anyone who needs it.

@Ginfordinner unless those community facebook pages are private of you post on that page that your elderly grandfather who is 80,lives alone and needs help everyone in the world can see it. My younger son (I have four) just got off the phone with his Sister in law who lives Newmarket with my other son because he saw a post about an old friend of ours who lives Thetford needing groceries on their community page. If a 17 yo child living in NC in the States can see that its a problem. Thats incredibly unsafe.

@WhatTheHellHappenedArgh then you have a serious local goverment problem. If you can't trust those resources then that's definitly a problem

It has revealed huge holes in colleagues tech abilities. Clearly been covered up by asking colleagues to do things they can’t manage.

One person asked IT to come to their house to sort the WiFi out!

They are closed groups Leannb so the rest of the world can't see what you have posted. You get vetted by the moderators to join. I live in a rural community where most people either know each other or are friends of friends anyway.

I understand why you have your suspicions. I was like that before I joined Facebook, but I know how to use it for my benefit. It doesn't use/abuse me.

Your sister in law can't have her privacy settings very high if everyone knows what she is up to. In any case, if you don't post anything on Facebook then no-one knows what you have been doing.

My in-laws are both 89, they've tried using the internet but they don't seem to retain what they've learnt. It doesn't help that MiL has dementia. It gets harder to learn things the older you get.

The Thetford community page isn't a closed group. Its open to the public which is how my 17yo found it. He called his SIL who lives in Newmarket with my other son to see if they could help this lady. It has nothing to do with my DILs privacy settings as she doesn't use facebook either. My 17yo son was able to join this group even though he hasn't set foot in Thetford in almost 8 years.

she was able to get all her shopping delivered no bother How on earth did she manage that? The rest of us are desperately trying to find an on-line supermarket slot.

she and her husband have taken £1k cash out and are keeping it at home to pay tradesmen It won't do them much good- nobody's accepting cash, for hygiene reasons.

My mum is only 72, but she’s never used a computer or had email on her phone. . She was a teacher, but retired about 20 years ago, before tech was routinely used in the classroom.

Mine is exactly the same. Slightly older but took early retirement in her early 50s and did supply in Early Years. Never used a computer at work, ever. Refuses to have a smartphone. Refuses to even try with a tablet. Dad has a laptop but really doesn't use it much at all. They have zero interest in learning and however much my siblings and I tell them how much easier it would be they are NOT interested.

To be fair my mum has always been like this, when I was a teenager in the 80s she refused to use the hole in the wall machine and would insist on writing a cheque to herself for cash.

The Thetford community page isn't a closed group. Its open to the public which is how my 17yo found it

That's bad. Ours are tightly moderated and controlled, and from what you say, a good thing too.

My family just got an WhatsApp group. One problem... My DM has cateracts and struggles to read text on phone... And her iPad doesn't have a phone number. So great idea (this is her cousins etc, not small family) but it has issues. And her cateracts will not be sorted soon now.

But on the other hand, DH has been frustrated the last few weeks trying to get various colleagues how to understand Skype conference calling. To the extent he was getting called to various meetings to sort out tech issues, and had to teach the tech department how to use it...

It should be a choice to use "tech". It's not ignorant to not want to use it.

Being internet/online savvy won’t get your shopping delivered if you aren’t already a customer - not at the moment, anyway.

@FreakStar and a lot of danger also comes with it. Thats all I'm saying. Be careful about posting especially during this time. As the economy declines incidents of criminal behavior will increase and publicizing incredibly vulnenable residents is putting them very much at risk.

I know there's a local Covid-19 FB group for my area because someone came round with a flyer. You can phone them. It's not just for people on FB.

My parents are mid 70s and can use social media and internet. For those in their 70s they would have retired only 5 to 15 years ago. I’m in my mid 40s and offices are networked and we have word processors and dial ups when I entered university and started at work. I remember BitTorrent, mp3, etc. The internet existed for quite a long time now,

@Aroundtheworldin80moves try Facebook messages or telegram. Then you can use the tablet. It’s a family group so shouldn’t be hard to move?

I'd say it's still slightly generational. My grandparents learnt to use a computer and email about 10 years ago, while they were early 80s. They wanted to be able to email us. They took a course and were the oldest by a long shot. They were determined though. They'd never needed to use a computer before, or for their jobs, so it wasnt their fault that they got to such an old age before they realised how useful it could be. We're not at the point where all the elderly had to learn to use a computer at school for example. So until that point it's up to them to want to learn. But yes, situations like this certainly highlight the importance of being able to use/ understand technology!

DM conciously chose not to engage with technology developments many years back. There were computers in the house in the 90s. She did like the idea of mobile phones, but never upgraded beyond the era of the polyphonic ring tone soon after the Millenium. Wifi came and went along with my boomeranging brother.

She had opportunities to learn and engage in her 50s/ 60s and actively chose not to, and is now in her 80s, stuck in the house with only a landline to connect her with the outside world. Fortunately DB is local and social restrictions mean he is gallivanting around far, far less than usual for work.

It would be lovely if I could video call her at some point. The DCs haven't seen her since Christmas due to illness just as Covid 19 began to leak beyond China, and at the start of the month, I cancelled a visit due to a cold as she was particularly vulnerable then.

I do find her lack of engagement with technology to be isolating.

@Ginfordinner thankfully my son didn't have ill attentions and just wanted to help out his former child minder and my oldest son is able to help. In fact I just got off the phone with her and my son will be picking her up and taking her to Newmarket to ride out this storm with them and knowing my DIL and Son she will be treated like a queen during this time

Saying that people are "refusing " to use "tech" is a bit rude. It's not complusory and if people don't want to use it that's up to them. It's a choice. They are not stubborn children refusing to take their cod liver oil.

And I say "tech" because there is a lot of technology that they probably do use, e.g. cars, land line phones, fridges...

I know there's a local Covid-19 FB group for my area because someone came round with a flyer. You can phone them. It's not just for people on FB.

Ours is the same. The group is managed online through facebook and whatsapp but people are printing off leaflets and posting them through every door on whatever street they've agreed to cover. The leaflets have a number to call for the local volunteers.

I don't buy into the "facebook is evil" mantra, it is easy to avoid the bad stuff. If you're daft enough to accept 1000+ friend requests then more fool you. Only have people you know personally as friends, know your way round the security settings and don't post your address. Obviously.

There is definitely an air of superiority in some people who refuse to use social media. But in many cases it stems from total fear. My mother is very scathing about the internet, facebook, skype, kindles and everything else post 1990. Because she's scared of it, doesn't understand it and rather than admitting that, she turns it round to a criticism of people who do.

Coming back to bite her big style as she is a bookworm who gets three books out of hte library every week. Library closed. Hasn't got a kindle or any other way of getting reading material.

It’s not fear for me it’s just I’m not interested.
I’m only 56 but as I’ve said so much of it is simply unnecessary.
I’m a cup of tea in a world of skinny lattes.

In an ideal world,yes. But you cannot force people to learn to use it if they are adamant that they don't want to. My late DM was hopeless with modern technology,she couldn't even get to grips with a basic mobile phone,despite my brother and I trying numerous times to show her how to use it. She died just over 8 years ago and would have been 93 this year had she lived. I just hate to think of how she would have coped with all this crisis going on at the moment,especially as she had numerous health problems such as diabetes and heart and kidney problems.
I am just grateful that even though I came comparatively late to things such as mobile phones,the internet and such like,I started learning about 14 years ago when I was a mere youngster of 42,so it wasn't too difficult for me to pick up. I still regard myself as a bit of a 'dunce' with some things related to modern technology, and up against my 13 year old Dgd,I am definitely lacking! But compared to a lot of people in their 70s and 80,I would probably be regarded as a genius!

I live 2000 miles away from my parents and can no longer afford to call them as I've been laid off work for god knows how long. I installed messenger on my mother's tablet two years ago and she refuses to use it; this a healthy woman in her 70s who books flights online and goes to the fucking gym six times a week, not some doddery old biddy

I've got to the point now where I don't want to reply to her emails whinging about the gym closing I've had enough; I spent €10 last week calling her but she can't be arsed picking the phone up to call me (she's wealthy) or to work out how to use messenger.