To feel a bit sorry for dd

[Soubriquet]

Yes it’s a first world fucking problem and I’m sure someone will be here calling me out cos people are dying but..

She’s 7 tomorrow. She was looking forward to going to school and spending the day with her friends. Handing out sweets, seeing her Nan and getting presents, cards and cake.

She can’t go to school, she can’t see her friends, we have some presents in but not as much as we were planning. We have no cake, no cards and obviously she can’t see her nanny.

I have explained to her that we are doubtful what we can and we will make up for it when we can, but it’s still hard for a 7 year old to take.

My DD was 6 on sunday. I managed to grab a cake from Asda and we decorated it ourselves so that took up some time.
I also got a next day delivery from Smyth's toys to get extra presents since her birthday party was cancelled.

Yanbu It's my 40th on the 8th and I'll be sat feeling gutted about the things I can't do but its only one year. I'll make up for it next year!

I’ve hopefully got some presents arriving today from Argos

Can’t get anything else, as I’ve got no money.

It’s easy to say go and get it, but we don’t have the money to do it. We would have done if we hadn’t had to buy food to stay in for 2 weeks instead of a weekly shop

We've got a child with a significant birthday soon. We owe her. We've planned what we can.

It's DS2's 11the Birthday today.
Of course he has a better understanding of the situation than a 7 YO so I do feel for you OP.

He did have his main present and I got some things from Amazon which thankfully arrived. I was able to make sure I had cake ingredients in.

The birthday table looked a little different to usual as he didn't get any parcels from family (money instead).

I work full time but am going easy on myself today. It's very strange having such a gorgeous sunny day, him not being at school but unable to meet with his mates. They are chatting on Xbox instead.

A local pub is doing meal deliveries so he's chosen something from there for his Birthday dinner and we'll watch a film later.

We will then celebrate with friends and family later, and go on his Birthday treat (Warner Bro tour) when we can.

We know of stories where upbeat parents have protected their children by being upbeat, for example in concentration camps. Conversely after 9/11 children were damaged by information overload.

I'm going to keep this in mind, thank you. My son is a bright lad but he's still a child.

I will make today about his Birthday, being together, staying well.

Aw bless her, I remember what birthdays were like at 7 and the excitement. Does she have a group of close friends? Could you maybe arrange with their parents a Skype call or facetime as a surprise or something? Not quite the same, but I bet she would be over the moon, and would hopefully be fairly easy to organise.

Could you not put a post on Facebook for cake ingredients?! I know people in my village would rally round if they could!

I understand how you feel, It's my mums 90th birthday tomorrow. We had so much planned, a big family meal out on mothers day and a holiday booked for her with me and my sibling (just 3 of us) and lots of outings planned and all have had to be cancelled. She lives neraby but alone so I have a small cake, goodies, cream tea, flowers etc in a box to be left at her doorstep. My DH is still working so can't risk visiting properly.

My daughter has had to postpone her wedding for 12 months and my husband had a phone call late last night to say his auntie had died from the virus.
Everyone is in the same boat!
The news is full of stories of people missing out on celebrations. Of drive pasts to ‘celebrate’ a birthday.
our wedding anniversary trip is cancelled, our tickets to see a Michael Buble are looking rocky and I hope nothing happens to Elton John before November as we have tickets to see him too.

Yes it’s sad for your DD but make a new tradition, celebrate with her in a different way, make this weird birthday one she will remember for all the right reasons. Let her choose your clothes for the day, let her decide on a colour theme and everyone in the household has to wear something that colour. Let her have chocolate for breakfast and dinner and supper if that’s what she wants. Make sure she knows she will get her party after this is all over, but for now you can only embrace the weird.

Happy birthday little one, from me.

Come on there must be something you can do so that your daughter has a birthday cake

Sorry OP, I do get it and it is a shame tor her but, this has been on the cards for weeks and weeks, if not longer, her bday also is the same date every year and you say you've ordered gifts so she is hardly going without. You could have ordered or bought candles and stuck them in just about anything.

You just need to gee her up, make a card, take her for a cycle or walk and play games at home within the family, make her feel special. Get the disney+ 7 day free trial and let her pick a film or something. There are much worse birthdays one could have and it is going to end up being what you make of it, so that's up to you.

Side note to anyone that thinks a trip to the supermarket for birthday cake ingredients or birthday cake is in any way essential shopping. It really isn't, let's do our bit shall we? I am immune suppressed and live with a supermarket manager. We are supposed to be severely limiting our trips, going when ESSENTIAL. Not when we fancy x,y,z as a treat because we feel sorry for ourselves, not every day, not when we fancy a jolly because it's the only place we can go shopping and we fancy getting out and so on.

He has people coming in multiple times a day, coming in for bloody newspapers, 1 pack of biscuits then back later for something else, coming in for a chat with staff because they're bored and lonely. I despair and am so upset for the poor low paid food retail workers being exposed all day long by people that only care about their own bubble. They can't adequately protect themselves or their loved ones and its presumably a matter of time until its brought home.

What do you have in the cupboards? Any condensed milk and icing sugar? If so you could make something like this:

www.yummly.co.uk/recipe/Coconut-Snowballs-783488

They don't have to be ball shaped.

You could also make a cardboard cake and let her decorate it any way she wants. There are loads of examples on the internet.

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/552535448003057975/?nic_v1=1aYGS2xrdFlJYVXW9RFWtyjEiXIAXm8lhKNtEZZ%2BV03Pq9VZoH9cbF3Kq2kAN0b7WJ

Yes, it's shit but what she'll remember is how you deal with this.

My youngest turns 4 next week and we were meant to be on holiday so yes it is crappy but it was clear this was going to happen so I made sure we got his presents sorted and I hunted down cake ingredients last week to make sure I could still make it special. We don’t have cash to spare but the ingredients for a basic cake only come to about £2.50.

The day will be what you make it.

People who say everyone’s in the same boat - do you actually have your own kids? The OP is concerned primarily about her own daughter being upset as every parent should be. It doesn’t detract from the fact other children are in the same/similar situation but within that family it’s a huge sadness.. no OP YANBU - it’s heart breaking for children missing birthdays and events and as your daughter is your priority then it feels more unfair to you.

My brother is 11 tomorrow but he has learning difficulties and is emotionally a lot younger. He is finding it very hard and we have been upset by it. I plan to play as much football with him in the garden as he wants to try and make it a bit better but still not a great birthday for him! :(

My children's birthdays are in a few weeks. I bought cards and cake a couple of weeks ago just in case, so don't understand why you haven't done that?

You could order from Moonpig - some online stores do a cake and card service I think.

The Royal Mail is working, get people to make and post cards today. Or use Moonpig.

This isn’t going to take all that much effort from you to improve the situation

Bake a cake together?

Or make something else, stack bread, sugar and butter together and make it a funny game.

Play party games.

What do you have in the house? Maybe someone knows a recipe for a treat made of whatever is present.

Try to make the day fun with games and happy music. Do a dancing contest to her favourite music, make a card and colour it yourself. Make a banner. Cut out a crown shape, tape the ends together and let her wear that the whole day. Paint her nails in every colour for a pampering session. Anything that would make it feel like a special day.

What ingredients do you have? There might be something special you can bake even if you don't have everything for a cake. You might have what you need for biscuits or muffins or brownies or something. I hope your dd has a lovely day.

Zoom her b’day get together with her class or just some if the class friends? We had a class meeting via Zoom this week. They’ll be inanely saying hello to each other and wave and then go quiet when you ask them to take turn to speak but altogether everyone really enjoyed it.

Would you have the correct ingredients to make pancakes or her favourite dinner?
When she’s gone to bed tonight you could make paper chains out of any old magazines or whatever you have and decorate the living room and put up Xmas lights too.