Had my very poorly baby during Covid, NOT coping!

[itallworkedoutok]

I had my baby at 37 weeks, last Tuesday the day the county went into panic about Covid.

He's poorly, he has really rare kidneys, liver issues etc. He's currently in high dependency.

My kids can't visit an my youngest is still under a year and my partner is limited to visiting too because of work and the children.

Everyday I feel like I'm coping less and crying more an I feel like I'm on a roller coaster I can't get off.

How do I find the strength to carry on. I have no other family/ friends. An I just can't pull my self though.

I'm sorry I didn't no where to post but I really need to reach out.

Oh my that sounds stressful, you must feel very overwhelmed.
When do they think you might leave hospital? Apologies if it's expected to be a long term stay

Are you on a ward with other mums? Could you reach out to one of them? People will naturally want to help if you say you are struggling.

What a horrible situation. Big hugs and flowers for you.
I’ve written stuff and then deleted it because it all sounds trite and silly. I have no idea what you are going through but there is a whole community here ready to listen.

At the moment I have no clue, during pregnancy they thought baby's kidneys were just enlarged and we would be out within days. So it's all a shock.

Even until the end off last week they thought we would be going home at the weekend just gone but he's gone down hill.

I feel like I'm on another planned and have lost touch with everything

There is other mums on my ward but everyone is very private and all have partners with the 24/7

My husband also works for himself so we have the stress of income and this awful time.

I’m so sorry your precious baby is poorly. You will be out of your mind with worry and stress.
Are you getting good support from the neo unit? Can they put you in touch with post natal support - a counsellor or midwives who manage the mental health side? I would hope they have something in place to support parents at these times. Reach out if you can and tell them you feel like you need more support.
My DC was in special care when born and it was so scary and overwhelming, I was lucky to have very supportive nurses in the unit.
Sending lots of positive vibes and wishing your LO the very best

My heart is literally aching I daredent go to bed an leave him. But I know I need a really good sleep to start feeling better.

That sounds so tough. Can the staff point you towards any charities or volunteers that can help you to make sense of things?

Talk to the staff, let them know your struggling and let them support you. I have sat and cried with nurses treating Ds more than once.

Don’t be scared to ask for help. Hope he improves soon

Oh my goodness you poor thing. Your lovely baby not well and no one around to support you and the world going nuts around you . That’s so hard. I have no practical advice but wanted to send you a handhold.

Can you confide in one of the staff at the hospital ? Can the chaplain help you ? Maybe a hospital social worker ? Just someone to listen and provide a bit of support?

There must be a charity or something that can help you out keep posting on here in the meantime there are lots of people who can listen. It's no wonder you are struggling as it sounds very hard. Sending love. Xxx

I have been where you are. It was very difficult and I didn’t have the corona virus issues.

You are right you must sleep. Every time you sleep and eat you are helping your baby by taking care of yourself, as you will be stronger when he comes home

To make it worse all staff are trying to social distance.

I started pumping milk got a good supply then they told me to stop as he had to go onto special formula. So I stopped for 3 days meaning my milks tried up and now they want breast milk again.

I disgraced around 2000ml! Everything is such a up hill fight.

That sounds so tough OP no wonder you don’t feel like you’re coping I don’t know who could. Can you ask midwives for support or to tell you an organisation who might help like Bliss or someone? Just bring there and getting up every day you’re doing a great job. I hope things get easier for you and your family

www.bliss.org.uk/

You are doing an amazing job.
Your milk won’t have dried up in 3 days and if you don’t mind pumping it might make you feel like you are doing something as it must be so hard being there - particularly alone.
Remember this is all just temporary- sending lots of love

Hi I'm sorry to hear about all this, it sounds heartbreaking. First, about the milk, there's a Facebook group for relactation called UK Relactation and Adoptive Breastfeeding Support. That's a good supportive place to go for advice if you want to restart your breastfeeding. There's people there who manage it after months of not breastfeeding. It might seem like the last thing on your list but breastfeeding issues can really impact your mental health on top of everything else that's going on.
Second, get some sleep. It's hard. You don't want to miss a minute of your new and very fragile baby, but you can be a better mum for him if you sleep. It will also help your milk production, I often find mine really goes into overdrive refilling my boobs when I have just woken up from a sleep.
Third, can you videocall your little one back at home, so you can feel more connected to your family?
Fourth, talk to the midwives or nurses and let them know you're feeling very low. They might be able to advise or help somehow.
This has to be the hardest time to have a baby and I really feel for you.

You will get through this, although I understand how alone you must feel at the moment x you're on a hospital ward, separated from those you love and you find yourself in the middle of bloody covid-19! It's absolutely ok to not feel ok, but you're not alone. I read mumsnet all the time, but I have felt compelled to join the network tonight just to enable me to reply to your post. I just wanted you to know that things will look different this time next week or next month..I just wanted to give your hand a virtual squeeze and encourage you to stay strong. You're a brave mummy x stay safe and ask for help from the women around you if you need it. Sometimes all it takes is a brief question to another person to spark a conversation x

So sorry to hear that OP. The chaos must make everything seem worse. Try to reach out to a kind member of hospital staff maybe and tell them your overwhelming. Sending virtual hugs to you and your baby.x

Overwhelmed.

What an incredibly stressful situation you're in OP. I'm sorry you're going through this, the timing is awful.

You are absolutely correct in what you say, your body does need sleep. Please try and get some rest when you can. You will be running on empty and need all the strength you can get. Sending best wishes to you and your little boy

So sorry OP. Best wishes to you all.

Huge sympathise @itallworkedoutok

My DC3 was in Neonatal and I faced similar issues (older kids, self employed DP who had just taken on a new contract) but of course I didn't have the bastard Covid:19 to contend with.

There has to be someone in the hospital who can help? Can your DP advocate for you next time he is there and let someone know how much you are struggling?

This morning the hospital had gone into lock down, no visitors are allowed on any wards.

In neo only one parent is allowed at each bed. Which makes it even more increasingly lonely as my partner was visiting and hour a day to keep my company.

Remeber that you are in the biggest shit storm ever
People NOT in your situation can’t cope , so how can you ?

I have two friend with dying parents and they can’t cope , it’s just very very hard

So take one hour , one half day at a time

Breathe , walk , pray

If needs be ask for medication

I pray for you and your baby