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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Mil not isolating

28 replies

Daffie19 · 24/03/2020 21:19

Mil has 'chest infection'??
Presuming she's coughing then.... And therfore should be in 7 days isolation.
She also works in a hospital.

Today she leaves a bag full of bits and bobs outside our house...
(she often does this)

Bits and bobs from her? Infected house...

When DH is strictly social distancing and should really be self isolating due to the medication he's on.
Were taking all precautions, sleeping separate etc now too to safe guard him.
AIBU to be a bit miffed at her stupidity?!

OP posts:
cardibach · 24/03/2020 21:20

YANBu - anyone coughing should be in self isolation at the moment.

HavenDilemma · 24/03/2020 21:40

Stupid woman. I'd be seeing if a local PCSO was free to call her and have a chat with her!

Esspee · 24/03/2020 21:40

I'd be tempted to report her to the hospital, and leave the bits and bobs where she left them.

Original poster
Daffie19 · 25/03/2020 20:45

She's still not self isolating...
She spoke to DH today, says she's not Going to stop coming, she will come And wave through the window if she has to. That we can't shut her out and cut her off.
She seriously is winding me up!

She works in our hospital that's crumbling ffs!!

And also, I hate that she's not respecting our wishes at all.
She never does.

OP posts:
Leaannb · 25/03/2020 20:48

YANBU.....Throw the shit in the trash and when she does show up ignore her. No response to her shenanigans. If she questions about the crap she has left then tell her due to the virus that you can't accept it and that you threw it away

2Rebecca · 25/03/2020 20:57

She is stupid. If she is coughing at work then her supervisor should send her home. Regardless of her cough she shouldn't be coming visiting you. Different if you'd asked her to drop off essential food because you were self isolating but not random crap from her house she doesn't want. I'd be closing the curtains if she arrives to discourage her as she is not supposed to be wandering around trying to see relatives unless they need her to care for them. Stupid woman.

2Rebecca · 25/03/2020 20:58

I wouldn't touch the bag of unwanted stuff

supercee · 25/03/2020 21:00

Don't pick up her stuff. Leave it so it's still there the next time she decides to drop off bits and bobs.

YouDoYou18 · 25/03/2020 21:04

Honestly unless she’s seen a medical professional who has tested her for C19 and confirmed it’s not that and it’s definitely a chest infection then she’s being a complete selfish idiot. Don’t touch any of her stuff and remind her it can be a £1000 fine if you refuse to self isolate...

CoraPirbright · 25/03/2020 21:04

Presuming she's coughing then.... She also works in a hospital

I’d be calling the hospital she works at to warn them.

ElGuardiandenoche · 25/03/2020 21:04

When she comes over then ignore her knocks and when she looks through the window close the curtains in her face each and every time.

angeltattoo · 25/03/2020 21:04

Leave it on the doorstep. So the next time she comes she sees it's not wanted. And close the curtains.

Original poster
Daffie19 · 25/03/2020 21:29

I wish I could be that harsh with her, I'm too much of a soft touch.

Just makes me not want to open my curtains at all... Makes me live in fear of her appearing at the window.

The plan was always to move away... I think that plan may happen sooner rather than later!

OP posts:
2Rebecca · 25/03/2020 21:34

I would hate to have someone suddenly appear at my window and peer in. We have nets on the front ground floor window as the pavement is just outside but generally I dislike nets and we don't have them at the back. If people regularly came and peered through the windows I'd be keeping the curtains closed for a few days until they got the message. I'm not a soft touch though so probably would just make shooing away motions and shut the curtains if she appeared and justify it as apublic health duty even though I just hate nosiness and poppers iners

Original poster
Daffie19 · 25/03/2020 21:38

I Defo so shut the curtains when it's just me and DS in the house 😂
So I can pretend we're not in or napping.

It's a bit depressing though as it's our only window to the lounge!

OP posts:
Alwaysoverthinkingit34 · 25/03/2020 21:45

My MIL done the same today. She was in contact with someone 5 days ago who now claims to have the virus! Yet she keeps coming to her house and leave things at the door and acting offended we don’t let her in. Crazy!!

penisbeakers · 25/03/2020 21:49

Stop being a soft touch and REPORT HER.

Dontrainonmyparade · 25/03/2020 22:17

Tbf, if she has a chest infection/is coughing - is like to think that the hospital she works in might notice? And not actually let her work? Maybe. Confused

Dontrainonmyparade · 25/03/2020 22:19

I’d like to think.
Is like to think makes no fucking sense.

Original poster
Daffie19 · 25/03/2020 22:32

I don't think she's going to work... But she certainly isn't self isolating like she should be.

OP posts:
LittleLittleLittle · 25/03/2020 22:34

@Alwaysoverthinkingit34 even if she wasn't in contact with someone who claims to have the virus she doesn't live in your house so isn't a member of your household.

jacks11 · 25/03/2020 22:42

Your MIL is behaving in a completely irresponsible manner and putting other people at risk. it’s quite shocking that someone who works for the NHS would do this. If her cough is obvious I’m surprised she has not been sent home yet.

If she continues to refuse to self-isolate and definitely has a cough (not just exaggerating for effect/attention/sympathy or something- though would be an extremely odd “wind up”), then you need to contact her by telephone or text and tell her she either starts to isolate or you will inform her employer or even the local PCSO. Not sure if police/101 would be able to help. I’d reiterate that she is not to come round, leaving items you don’t need at your door, all the while putting others (including you and her son), and evening herself, at risk.

If you know someone who is working at a hospital and has symptoms but is still going in despite their symptoms then you have a duty to act on that information. Being “too soft” with her means not acting in a way which may save lives (though the primary responsibility would obviously still lie with your MIL).

Original poster
Daffie19 · 26/03/2020 07:14

She's not in work this week. But she isnt self isolating!

I did text her, telling her 'now youre In isolation, if she needs anything let me know and I can drop on the doorstep' and 'were not allowing any visitors at the moment due to DH high risk status'
She replied all nice,, oh thank you, and how she knew DH was high risk and that's why she's been avoiding.

And then goes and leaves a bag of rubbish we don't need outside.

And then DH told her yesterday and she got cross with him telling him we can't cut her off completely... She's lonely Enough. She wouldn't stop coming, to wave through the window etc.

There is no amount of telling her... She does what she likes and doesn't listen or respect anything we ask or say!!

OP posts:
StirCrazed · 26/03/2020 07:16

Why do you think they aren't testing health care professionals?
Because they have to work regardless of symptoms

SnuggyBuggy · 26/03/2020 07:17

Now is the time to get some firm boundaries