To think that being a lone parent during lockdown is a new kind of hell?

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I need to get this off my chest.

I have been a lone parent for many years and it’s been tough in many ways. But the current situation makes it so much harder. My dd is now old enough to get on with stuff herself and help with things but I am juggling working from home with trying to feed us, etc. There is also the huge mental load and not having anyone to share it with. I am pretty stressed out but need to provide moral support for my dd. It’s tough.

Oh yes, to all of this. So many fails today I don't know where to start.

Feeling so overwhelmed that it's all on me to reassure and regulate DC, as well as teach them, as well as work so I keep my job, as well as keep us all safe and healthy, as well as somehow get food in...completely lost it this afternoon and it was NOT my finest parenting hour. Had a little cry, cooked sausages for tea. Tomorrow is a fresh start.

We're going to be eating a lot more toast and I'm going to have a think about whether I have any other standards left to drop
Good luck to everyone for the night and coming day - we're all in it together at least.

I'm in awe of those doing this alone
OP you're right it is a new kind of hell for many families for single parents it must be a walk a say on very hot coals very slowly and that's your break in the day

I’m in the same position. Trying to juggle home schooling, full time job plus all the housework as a lone parent. His dad doesn’t see him so it’s down to me to do everything.
I’m also classed as a key worker, but luckily my boss has left me off the rota. My DS’S school couldn’t provide childcare, so I’m relieved!

We have a rough routine, but if things don’t go to plan then it really doesn’t matter. My home isn’t the tidiest but it’s clean.

OP
Being a lone parent is tough under any circumstance
That is a given.
But if it’s any consolation my current partner and indeed my children’s father would fall into the category of «having an extra child to look after /cater for «
So please don’t lose heart,
You are doing the best you can under very difficult circumstances which none of us could have foreseen.

TheFormidableMrsC I remember your amazing advice to so many people on other threads. So sorry you've been dealt such a hard blow. But from what I remember you'll more than live up to your username! Glad you have your friend there.

I'm a LP. One of dc (teens) went to stay with their dad at the weekend. We decided they'd go for the week as my other dc (just into teens) can be very difficult at the moment. In line with Gove's advice they could come back home. But their dad was working up till yesterday, has been visiting his very elderly parents, and has probably been pretty lax about social distancing etc.

So it may be safer all round for them to stay with him, plus preserve their sanity and mine as regards being with their sibling just now. The idea of not seeing them for weeks though, just having to park that mentally for a bit.

Dc with me has also had huge schooling issues for the past year, so doing the online learning with them is really challenging. I'm used to being the only adult in my house, I already take all the parenting decisions and responsibility. However, despite having good friends, family and neighbours who I can text or phone, I know I'm really going to miss face to face contact with adults. At the moment I feel I'm having to be serious and responsible all the time. Really missing laughing and joking with work colleagues and that general interaction.

I’m a lone parent of 2 DC under 12. I’ve recently lost the use of both my arms and legs due to cancer.

This is hell.

I miss seeing my family and friends. Single mum to dd16, dd9 and ds23 months. It all just feels very strange. I keep forgetting that im not rushing off to work/ ballet/ playgroup/ school etc. Then it hits me and i start to panic slightly about how long this is going to continue and my loved ones becoming ill.

On the plus side, I think that being a lone parent actually helps in some ways.

Because you have to stay positive for the DCs' sakes, and because there is no-one around to bounce adult ideas and fears off of, we probably spend more time being upbeat and positive than our counterparts in couples. And a positive attitude is going to be key to surviving lockdown from a mental health perspective.

I was on the phone to DM earlier and we were having a 'd'you think this might be it for humanity?' type conversation, before DD waltzed in the conversation changed to more cheery things.

I think it would be far more challenging to maintain a positive mental outlook if there was another adult constantly around to appreciate the enormity of this situation.

Oooooooooooooooooooh that sounds absolutely awful you poor thing. Is it permanent? Do you have carers?

I'm a widow since my kids were small. Luckily they are teens now and my youngest is remote learning and they are running the same schedule so she is 'at school' from 8.50-4.30 at the moment till Easter break. My son is going to find it harder as not only has his college shut with just a bunch of paperwork to do, he's lost his part time job in a cafe and his gym is shut (he's training to be at PT goes there twice a day normally) and worse of all he can't see his girlfriend! I expect a few arguments out of sheer boredom and frustration. He can play online with his mates which is something at least and he did help cook dinner tonight.
I rely on my circle of women friends who I normally met up for coffee a couple times a week. Tomorrow we have arranged a virtual coffee morning via HouseParty app.
I am also continuing with pilates and yoga classes as my trainer is doing that online via Zoom. We live in a wonderful age of technology that we can be isolated physically but still keep in touch.

I’m on day 2 and I already feel like I’m about to go insane. I have a 3 year old and a 4 year old. I’m trying to homeschool my 4 year old and my 3 year old has SEN. He’s autistic, he has sensory processing disorder, he is non verbal, and he has the cognitive function of a 18 month old/2 year old. He thrives off routine, so these past couple of days have been him just lashing out and screaming the majority of the day, I can’t help much because he doesn't talk. He just babbles now and then like a baby and he can’t tell me what’s wrong. He doesn’t sleep through the night, waking around 6 times usually in distress, and spends little time on one activity as he has little to no attention span. He won’t do thing like colouring, puzzles etc. I don’t have a TV atm because he broke the previous two in an outburst preTty much back to back. I feel awful for his elder brother, he gets pushed and shoved about, if I try and do anything with him his brother has a meltdown so I'm torn. I’m a single mum on 16 hours a week, I don't even know if I'm going to have a job to go back to yet. They usually go to their dads place every weekend (no court order or anything but he is a bit of a dick) for one night but now that's gone out the window.

Sorry. I know there are people in far worse situations. I just needed a rant and to get that off my chest. I'm off to get wine

It's hell in different ways for everyone

• at home with a partner you'd rather not be with 24/7
• at home with a partner you're generally OK with, but not 24/7
• at home totally isolated
• temporary accommodation that's totally inadequate & far from being 'home'
• cramped houseshare which is generally OK with people out & about, but a different prospect when your with 4 near-strangers all trying to work on the same cramped kitchen table.

but only single parents have a monopoly on hell?

Oh you’re not alone OP it really is dire and I’m worried the impact it will have on my mental health long term.

I usually find it difficult with no other adult around to chat with and get support from but at least I can normally get out and about to visit someone. This is a fresh kind of hell, I’m trying to make sure I FaceTime someone at least once a day rather than just talking on the phone .... actually seeing someones face seems to help a little xxx

Hi! How is everyone doing. We've had good and bad days and are trying to stay positive as a family. My ds has taken to having a sleep in some mornings, but as long as he's completed the school work by the end of each day I'm not too concerned. My dd has become a Velcro child, which isn't the worst thing that could happen in the grand scheme of everything, but it would be nice to have 5 minutes on my own during daylight hours!
I'm still working from home but it's getting easier as it's become part of the routine.
Also my church have been a great support, we have online prayer meetings each morning which means I get to see and chat to lots of friendly faces so I don't feel as isolated.

I'm a lone parent also and would far rather be doing this alone. I can't imagine sharing my house/ life with another person in normal circumstances let alone during the lockdown. I'd go mad. I need my personal space.

It is hard. I'm working FT and also trying to look after/ entertain and educate my DS who is 7.

But I'm trying to concentrate on the positives.

I don't think it's a competition for who has it worse. There are plenty of people in relationships also going through hell.