To think that being a lone parent during lockdown is a new kind of hell?

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I need to get this off my chest.

I have been a lone parent for many years and it’s been tough in many ways. But the current situation makes it so much harder. My dd is now old enough to get on with stuff herself and help with things but I am juggling working from home with trying to feed us, etc. There is also the huge mental load and not having anyone to share it with. I am pretty stressed out but need to provide moral support for my dd. It’s tough.

That's hard, @givemeacall.

If you can get youtube on a TV or device there are lots of people running various classes at set times of the day which might give you a bit of a break.

Joe Wicks at 9 am
Otis from Strictly at 11:30 her kids dance classes are aimed at younger ones.
There are various celebrities and teachers reading stories, I think because they are live they might grab DC attention more than an audio book.
David Walliams has a session but not sure of the time.
A couple of artists doing kids live drawing classes for various ages.
Johnny Awsum 4 o'clock club on face book sings comedy songs, was on BGT I've seen him live and he's very funny.
(9 o'clock club on Friday for adults)

Your children might not want to do all of them but it might give your day some structure, and it might give you enough time to sit down and recharge your battery's too.

Yes it's tough. I'm 50 and single mother to just turned 9 year old DS who has autism and ADHD. On Thursday I was diagnosed with breast cancer and yesterday I had surgery. Today my son has been a nightmare. I've got a friend staying with me for a few days, a calculated risk we've been forced to take under the circumstances. He is climbing the walls, his whole ordered world has been turned upside down and I know I've got a very hard time ahead while trying to recover myself. We will all get through this somehow. For us it's going to be timetabled days, a long night time walk and relaxing screen time. I am trying not to think more than a couple of days ahead at the moment 🙄😬

I feel a bit sad that I don't have another adult here with me, but then I think what it would be like if soon to be XH was here and I am thankful he's not! I have an 8 year old and 11 year old, trying to work from home is a challenge to say the least. H hadn't event checked in with us since Xmas- not one call, nothing as strange as folk eh....

Single mum to a 3 yo and working from home, trying to Stay as close to Full time hours as poss (senior management). Nursery closed down a week ago.

Have got into a good routine of
6.30-9.30am - morning routines, chat, play a bit, put together a “snack menu” for the day, set out tonnes of toys and activities
9.30am-12.30 - I work in the lounge while Ds plays, watches tv etc. I break off to chat/ cuddle/ help with toys for a few mins every half hour
12.30-2.30/3 - lunch, play time, play in the garden, chat
3-5 - I work again
5-7.30- play, dinner, evening Routine and bed
7.30-10.30/11 - I work again

It’s relentless but am doing okay so far. Been doing this for a week now. DS seems outrageously happy, in the circumstances.

@TheFormidableMrsC that is awful I am so sorry to hear that! This virus has created so much stress and anxiety but I couldn't imagine having other serious health issues on top of this especially as a single parent. I am glad you have a friend coming to support you x

I’m not a lone parent, but husband is a doctor and has moved to a hotel near his hospital, due to a current lack of staff (illness) and worry of passing anything on to me or our 12 week old. I’ll probably be alone for at least the next 2 weeks, having already been isolating for a week.
My little girl is lovely, but there are only so many baby sensory/massage/rhyme time etc things I can do before going crazy. We’re going out for a walk in the pram or sling, but when she gets fussy I get anxious and end up going home early. She’s currently very snuffly and not napping as well as usual, which doesn’t help. I’ve tried some FaceTime but, unless she’s already napping, it’s quite hard to find a long enough time when she doesn’t need my attention- and then I’m also trying to fit in showering, eating, cleaning etc.

The original plan had been for me and my daughter to spend 2 weeks isolating, to ensure I wasn’t certain carrying anything, and then to go stay with family who have also been isolating for 2 weeks. They also have a separate annex in their house where I could isolate if needs be. No way that can happen now with the lockdown.

I’m honestly starting to worry more that my mental health with be more of a risk than CV. I’d already had some difficult days previously and had been relying on my husband to take the baby for just an hour, now I feel completely stuck. Relying on Whatsapp groups and the odd snatched phone call atm.

Sorry for the rant, just needed to get that out.

Yanbu. I imagine it is very tough, I feel like a puppy waiting for DP, he is like an angry bear from serving crazed shoppers, or listening to the ones shouting for a freezer.
Rant away OP it is total mind fuck.

YANBU OP. I have a toddler and a tween. It's a tough lonely time. I am just grateful for my garden.

Yeah. I'm working from home whilst looking after the toddler and home schooling the older one. It's ridiculous and can't all be done, so I'm just trying to do what I can

I haven't seen an adult since last week. It's so weird!

mintjulia unless your ex lives with vulnerable people (or is himself) he's a knob!

3 boys age 11, 6 and 4. We are self isolating due to youngests asthma flaring up, new persistent cough though so no one can go to childcare and im a self employed carer. Thank god we have a garden and its sunny, mind you the hardest bit is the continuous asking for food. My ex is coming to see them on the weekend, luckily he lives alone and has not seen anyone in 2 weeks otherwise i would be banning him.

It’s terrible !
Failing at work
Failing at housekeeping
Failing at home schooling
Failing at parenting
Feel
Shit !
Hey ho , it’s only been a week

@Poppi89 Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm alright, it is what it is! We will prevail, all of us, in this awful situation!

Me too :( DD is 5 and I'm so incredibly lonely. I don't have any friends either. The only person I can talk to us my Mum as my Dad passed away. She doesn't do emotional support and hates phone chatting!

It's a very, very lonely life.

phillipa oh god the food thing! I've got so many treats hidden in my room so 11yr old DD doesn't swipe them all in one day. I'm dealing them out every lunchtime.

Sorry to hear that haven. Are you guys safe to get out for a walk where you are?

Bring a Kobe parent is hard enough without lack of adult social interaction. I'm a lone parent with 2 dc (13 and 9). Were in day 2 of no school/ work and our routine had gone out if the window.
My standards have lowered massively and as long as I can get done work done and they do done school work then I'm cladding that's as a win.
Just do what you can, I've had so many of my friends message me with their schedules and fantastic time, but it's much easier when you can get a break as you can at least take turns.
Just keep going, take each day as it is.

Thank you for sharing. Sounds like many of you are dealing with a very tough set of circumstances so I should not complain.

I think for people who are having to work from home there is also that sense of having so down time, no separation between work and home and, as Someone else pointed out, you feel like you are failing at everything.

Ah me too. Sending strength to you all. I keep thinking how different this would be if DH was still alive. DC are 8 and 10, 10 year old has ADHD. I’m working from home too.

It’s really really hard and I’m doing everything badly.

Me too. Its not easy.

@TheFormidableMrsC life really kicks you when your down sometimes, glad you have a helpful friend in your situation.

I’m not a lone parent but Dh is working away for months on end with the military and goodness knows when I’ll see him again. I’m trying to work from home but 1 year old ds is kicking off when I’m on the phone which is so difficult. I just burst into tears earlier as I can’t even see my elderly parents or speak to another adult in person for a long time. It’s the not seeing an end to it that’s so hard.

I really feel for the parents of young children. Mine are 8 and 10 now and although it can all get a bit much just being talked to all the time, they are basically sensible capable kids and nice to have around. If this had happened when they were 2 and 4 I would have lost my mind within about 4 hours of it. My heart goes out to you all.

I don't miss my ex as he basically just loomed around disapproving of everything, but I do miss my boyfriend. He would never be around when I'm with my kids anyway, so he is in no way a co-parent, but I still miss that sense of someone I can relax into, even if it's only 1 day in 7 or 14, as with us it can be.

I think you are all heroes. Let's hope and pray that this doesn't go on too long.

I really struggle with not being able to offer help. I keep forgetting. It is the most natural thing to say to people who are having a hard time "come over" or "We'll do it together" and these are things we can't say any more :(