Will this psychologically affect children who lived through it?

[NameChangedForThisOne7]

As the PM was speaking last night, my two children kept looking over at us and my heart was breaking for them that they are living through this. As a child, it must be so frightening and hard to understand. Do you think that living through this will somehow affect children? What are you doing to help you kids through this emotionally and ensure that they don't become overwhelmed or frightened?
Do you think that there will be long term implications? (Will they always want to have a fully stocked panty as adults 'just in case' etc? - lighthearted but just one example I could think of). Will it make them germ phobic?

What are your thoughts?

There is a proportion of teens and tweens who are so used to on-demand services and having everything at their fingertips, and their needs being paramount to everyone around them that being put in a position where that isn’t the case and they see that they must confirm to rules and standards and their needs come second to the needs of the collective will be an important lesson; and I think it will foster a level of resilience that we don’t see in the current cohort of young adults.

Yes this. They’ll have to call on inner resources in a way they haven’t until now and that will be beneficial surely.

It needn't be a big deal as long as parents approach the whole situation calmly and positively and turn this from a situation to be dreaded into an adventure they can look back on fondly. In this way you teach your children that they have a choice about how to react. Don't feed misery and anxiety, reward positivity and creativity. Personally I'd have made sure they were doing other things when Boris went on air last night. That sort of stuff is for grown-ups and grown-ups can filter what's required for the children.

It will be very hard for many, but I also think that, in many cases, it will help to build their resilience and teach them (and us!) to be grateful for the small things that we usually take for granted - being free to go out and about when we want, meeting a friend and giving them a hug, having a drink and a cake in a coffee shop. Even school and exams!

It will also help them to develop coping strategies that will enable them to deal with whatever life throws at them. For example, my teen dd and her friends are already working out proactive strategies to support their positive mental health - eating well, exercising regularly, meditating, staying connected to their friends etc.

This crisis may also teach them to value their physical health more highly. I bet there are lots of parents around the country making lifestyle changes to reduce their risk factors - eating better, exercising more, giving up smoking etc.

And forced time spent with families may strengthen the bonds in some cases, though it may also test them. In many ways, we are all being taught how to focus on what's really important.

The responsibility is on us as parents to model how to deal with this. Hard as it might be for us to get through this period, we need to try and focus on positive strategies to get ourselves and our kids through this, and we need to model the positive attitude and coping strategies that we want them to develop.

As with everything, the parent should be a filter of the information to minimise negative impact.

Don't tell young kids that Boris has locked everyone down because some people were beig irresponsible and risking killing thousands. Just say the government is trying to stop people getting ill.
Obviously that filter changes and suits itself to the age of the child. Younger the child, the more it's filtered.

My daughter is 7, she knows there's a virus, she knows the schools are closed to stop the spread, she knows it's very serious and that we can't go to the park etc. But the details and figures don't need sharing really.

My child isn't scared at all, she's quite enjoying it. She's enjoying the time off school and the new friends she's made lately. I told her we would make the apocalypse fun and she seems to be having a good time so far. We are both quite introverted so being at home is our happy place anyway.

If things get desperate then I might see a change, but for now it's all fine.

Older children might like to keep a journal that they can look back on in decades to come and to learn about Samuel Pepys and Anne Frank - it’s an important historical event.

Hmm. A few parents in my wider circle have mentioned this - I'm not sure that it's a coincidence that a couple of them are the ones reporting back that their children seem anxious and that the 'corona diaries' idea seems to have been a not great idea. I am not sure that it's at all a good idea for parents to focus on it so much, especially given that we might have an extended period of lockdown. Learn about it, and historic pandemics, figures etc? Ok. Start keeping a diary and be encouraged to focus on how you're feeling and what's happening every day? Um, I'd say that's asking for children to end up feeling more anxious about it.

Just don't forget the routine and learning. It's really important.

On a lighter note @NameChangedForThisOne7 I think everyone was looking around with concern on their faces last night because no one was 100% what the hell did he mean😂 Half a speech sounded like just asking nicely again, second half sounded like still asking nicely but with bit more detail and urgency...

The only way they will be traumatised is if the internet goes down!

Mine are 11 and 14. I made them watch the briefing last night as it's important they understand. No need to shelter them at that age IMO.

I agree with other posters, it all depends how the parents deal with it. We are trying to be as matter a fact as possible, planning their days etc and making this our 'normal' right now.

I can't see how this will negatively affect my two going forward as long as we all stay well. Mine have both had things important to them cancelled and its upsetting but its short term upset in the big scheme of things.

It depends on the child and the people around them.

My son is four, we’re generally fairly relaxed, but honest, so for example he knows I’m a bit worried as my medicine is running out, he knows I’m going out to get more later (having to break our SI!). We are also very lucky that my boyfriend being here is a huge novelty, so that in itself is keeping him well entertained.

I think it will affect them, as everything affects them, for better or worse. But as PP said it depends on the parents - for some it will be awful but for most I'd have thought just a life experience. It will depend on the adults around them.

I'm more concerned about the psychological impact on adults, tbh. Adults don't have as much time to "make up for lost time", losing businesses, people who have lost their last hope to have children now, etc. Relationships will break under the strain (although I predict a rise in divorce AND marriages afterwards) not to mention those trapped in abusive situations. As well, for the many people who live alone (and boy, is this a doubly painful time to be single/childless) who won't feel a human touch or be able to socialise for months, it will have very profound effects - isolation is used as torture!

@Icecreamdiva interesting points. This is what I was going to say in a less eloquent way.

I wonder if it may help build resilience as well.

I think they will learn valuable life lessons from this. One being, Life doesn't always go to plan.
We must remember our attitudes determine our wellbeing more than our circumstances.
Six years ago, my husband died very suddenly, my sons were only 7 and ll. I was worried regarding the effect this devastating loss would have on them,and a!though it hasn't been easy l am so proud of the two strong, confident and driven young men they've become. They posses a maturity far above their ages.
We must remember this is a temporary sithation. Our children will be looking to us to guide them. We just need to adapt the best we can.

As for the poster who said the war was the best time of her granny’s life, that’s definitely not true if you actually did anything during the war! My DM was a nurse in London. A bomb fell on the hospital killing patients. They worked all hours! Very little time off. She later delivered babies where the mums couldn’t get to hospital. It was horrific for the front line services. If you were in the country with a nice big garden to grow veg in and keep chickens, life was tolerable but so many were related to servicemen and women and spent years worrying about them. In that respect, we are worried about relatives and friends right now but we need to do what we are told to do and hang on in there!

Looking from an older perspective (I’m in my 60’s) I do hope parents don’t overdramatise the situation to their DC. I grew up with the threat of nuclear armageddon - the Cuban missile crisis - lived through the last of the great London smogs that killed thousands, and caught Hong Kong flu in the 68 pandemic. My parents went through combat in WW2, MIL spent 4 years in a Japanese concentration camp.
For our current children, this is just a protracted holiday from school, with the possibility of ten days illness from which they are 99.8% likely to recover. Surely modern parents can summon up just a teeny bit of the resilience that we previous generations had?

Kids do adapt and there are far worse things than being at home with their parents.

The true worry is for the kids in abusive situations.

Saying that my kids and I were in a domestic violence situation and corona lock down is a walk in the park compared.

I feel sorry for ones trapped in dysfunction but for kids with good family relationships, this time should be no more worrying than any other.

The parents need to set the tone.

Yes a little worry is natural but no one should be left psychologically scarred after this. Caveat, obviously we all will be psychologically scarred if people we know and love die or are a long time away from us in hospital.

I'm talking about if it's a short lock down of weeks not months and if we all do starve out this virus with no contact and stay safe in our family groups.

The short answer is yes, the nature of the impact is far less certain. Those children who come through the pandemic without having lost friends or family to it, who have good family relations and a safe environment will most likely find many positive impacts.

Those children who find themselves experiencing grief, have pre-existing MH issues, who live in abusive situations or who don't have good family relationships are more likely to experience some very negative impacts.

I am very worried that there will be long term consequences. I have 3 very young grandchildren and I want to cry when I think about them. I worry that their world is shrinking and that the youngest in particular will forget what the outside world is like. However much their parents try to shield them from worry children pick things up. I fear we will have a mental health crisis on our hands when this is over.

Child no2 is loving doing school work at home. She bandies around word s like 'quarantine' 'self isolation' quite cheerfully.
Child no1 hates being 'taught' by me and being told he can't whenever he wants. I'm telling him he's experiencing an 80s /90s childhood so to suck it up.

Neither seems anywhere near as affected by it as I am.

I am counting my blessings everyday. My kids are healthy so I've been able to tell them children don't get very ill from coronavirus, so they don't need to be scared. I live in a country with fantastic, free healthcare. I have access to a big, beautiful garden full of toys for the kids. I don't need to worry about my job, neither does my partner. My parents are self isolating and I live close to them so am able do their grocery shopping etc. My kids are delighted to be at home the whole time. At the moment, I cannot see how it will negatively affect them. Their parents are pretty relaxed and optimistic. A few months away from nursery and extended family won't do their social skills or cognitive development any harm.

I am thankful for every single day I can spend like this, even if we will be on lockdown for months (which is looking very likely).

I don't understand the idea that you somehow have to be grateful for living through a historical event like this, though. A pandemic is grim and I wouldn't wish it on any generation! Telling a teen they are living through an important time and that this is a good thing seems a bit cynical to me.

The positive effect on my children so far (we have been isolated for 2 weeks already) is that their relationship with each other is getting stronger. They are helping each other with schoolwork and playing in the garden together.
They were more distant and involved with their own friends before this.

I think it entirely depends on the adults in their lives

This 100%

We've had a couple of moments, we've lost an enormous amount of money on the stock market and DH was very upset and told our 13year old - who was obviously then really worried.

The second was when we let them watch one of Boris' less positive speeches (I do think he's doing a good job generally to stay positive, but we choose the wrong one).

The stance in our house is to make everything as stress-free for them as possible. We tell them stuff if they ask, but otherwise don't volunteer the information. We point out lots of positives such as getting up a bit later and spending more time with us.
They are children and as a parent, my job is to shield them as much as possible from everything.

So, no..I think they'll remember if as a disappointing time, but not stressful.

If we can shield them a bit, and with some luck, this can be a break from their usual stresses. I don't see it as necessarily damaging.

(I do think he's doing a good job generally to stay positive, but we choose the wrong one).

I don't think it's a good job. The positiveness and softness there makes many people think it's not that serious imo