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Original poster

Step children and lockdown WWYD

56 replies

familyof4boys · 23/03/2020 21:20

My DH and his EW have 50/50 contact with the children. We were planning to share their care, homeschooling etc. Can we still do this with the lockdown? Is he allowed to go and get them? WWYD? So hard to know what to do!

OP posts:
Frozenfan2019 · 23/03/2020 21:22

We don't know and have a similar dilemma. It's my personal opinion that if all members of both families are not leaving the house then it's ok. I have no idea what the official advice on this is. If one or more of you are going out to work I would say that changes things and the child should say with the least vulnerable parent.

That's just my opinion.

Tattoocrazymum · 23/03/2020 21:25

I would like to know too

cheninblanc · 23/03/2020 21:29

No, members of the same household can go out. So pick a house and that where they stay for the duration. My sd won't be coming over at all till this is lifted. Stay at home, one home!

Lucyccfc68 · 23/03/2020 22:24

DS lives with me, but see's his Dad regularly. He won't be going to stay with his Dad for the next 3 weeks. There will be no swapping between houses. It's shit, but we all need to stay at home.

Blame the knobheads who have been going to parks, beaches and generally treating last weekend like a bloody bank holiday.

DS will speak to his Dad via phone and FaceTime several times a day over the next few weeks.

TWD89 · 23/03/2020 22:24

Agree with @cheninblanc

My DD will be staying home and not visiting her dad for the next 3 weeks - gutted for him because he’s a great dad and DD14 is shit at keeping in touch

Dishwashersaurous · 23/03/2020 22:39

I think that you need to decide which household they are living in for the next three weeks and then they stay there

Salene · 23/03/2020 22:43

No mixing of households he told you that. Pick a parent and the kids stay there.

laudete · 23/03/2020 23:06

They should stay in one home and the other parent can help with the homework over Skype or FaceTime. The PM was quite clear; you cannot see family members who are not in your home.

Bbang · 23/03/2020 23:12

Cafcass guidance for if it helps anyone.

Step children and lockdown WWYD
Step children and lockdown WWYD
ToWitIsToWooyouhoo · 24/03/2020 00:10

The Government guidance states that there are four exceptions to the staying at home instruction.
The third exception allows you to leave your home “to provide care”.
This covers co-parenting scenarios.
It’s also worth noting that a child that lives in your home, even if that is part-time, forms part of your household.

www.gov.uk/government/publications/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others/full-guidance-on-staying-at-home-and-away-from-others

SebastienCrabSauce · 24/03/2020 00:37

No I wouldn’t. They should stay put in one household.
My DS isn’t going to his dad and my SDs aren’t coming to our home until this has all blown over.
We love our kids and would rather miss them in the short term than risk missing them forever

Wobba11 · 24/03/2020 00:40

Guidance from Boris has just been updated with a footnote to say that handovers of children under 18 ARE permitted

sobersides · 24/03/2020 01:39

My DD is staying with me and will FaceTime her dad. He's in complete agreement so that's made life easier. I think staying put in one home is less risky but can see how that may not be easy for those with tense relationships with exes.

MovinOnUp · 24/03/2020 01:46

Surely the footnote only means you can transport between houses if it is to ensure the care of the child?

If there is no 'care' required, Then the child should stay put in one household to avoid any spreading of the virus.

username1724 · 24/03/2020 01:53

Unfortunately myself and ex are both key workers so we have to share care so we can work. I think you need to assess what's right for your family, it does panic me thinking if dd gets stuck quarentining with her dad for 2 weeks so if I had the choice I'd keep her with me.

Powerlessstepmum · 24/03/2020 01:58

Every mother who uses coronavirus as an excuse to block their child"s father out of their life should hang her head in shame. The government has made it clear that moving minors between their parents IS allowed. And that's because both parents are important, as important as food and exercise.

Sleeplessnights1234 · 24/03/2020 02:00

It has guidance to say you can move children under 18 between parents homes.

Step children and lockdown WWYD
Waveysnail · 24/03/2020 02:00

If there are key workers involved then yes you can share if childcare is needed. Preferable to sending into school

MovinOnUp · 24/03/2020 02:04

I wouldn't consider it (in my case) to be blocking their Father out of their life.
I would and do consider it to be keeping my children and others safe, By following government guidelines and common sense.

Ex's partner works in a care home with several suspected and a couple of confirmed cases of CV19, It would be a huge risk to let them go to his house at the moment.

josephine1066 · 24/03/2020 02:33

Can you please show me where the guidance says children under 18 can move between parents?

My son’s father isn’t letting him come back to me because he says we are now under lockdown

TooTrusting · 24/03/2020 03:14

See here -
assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/government/uploads/system/uploads/attachmentdata/file/874738/Fulllguidanceonnstayingatthomeanddawayfromm_others.pdf

See footnote 1 to the 3rd bullet point under para 1.

This makes it clear that you are allowed to transport children between homes for contact. The footnote was added after this was first published at 8.30pm, presumably in response to the query having been raised by countless parents. I expect CAFCASS will issue formal advice tomorrow (it's current advice is based on the previous self distancing so is out of date).

I am a family lawyer and this is the advice I will be giving. So one parent cannot use the lockdown to say that the DCs must stay with them and can't see the other parent. Unless there is a genuine reason why moving between homes would represent a genuine increased risk - eg lengthy journey via pubic transport, or there are symptoms in the household, or a vulnerable person in one of the households - then the children can and should travel between homes. The court will follow the govt advice and apply common sense.

GatoradeMeBitch · 24/03/2020 03:41

This situation could last months. There's no way children will be kept deprived of their other parent that whole time.

Hmmmm88 · 24/03/2020 06:50

My DSS is currently here with us he's 14. His DM lives a 5 minute walk away he's going to stay here until next Monday then walk to his DM's and stay there until everything has calmed down. We have been self isolating for a week and his DM has been working so i am not worried about him taking anything back to her house but we've made it clear unfortunately he can't come back here once he goes. It's a tough one but i think back and fourth contact at this time isn't a great option

nobodyimportant · 24/03/2020 07:52

Hopefully footnote attached. If not it reads

  1. Where applicable, this includes moving children under 18 between their parents’ homes.
Step children and lockdown WWYD
Sexnotgender · 24/03/2020 07:59

They need to stay in one household. My DD will be staying with me the whole time.

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