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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

how do you WFH when you are supposed to home school (incl child with SN)

53 replies

chocoholico · 23/03/2020 11:26

I have to WFH. I have a DC at primary and an older one. The older one has complex SN. The homework app keeps beeping.

Neither of the DC is able to do stuff independently. My work inbox is exploding, phone ringing.

Half a day in and I already lost my shit.

Help, how do others manage? I just want to run off

OP posts:

Eddielzzard · 23/03/2020 11:32

I'm in the same boat. 3 kids, 1 SN, DH and I trying to work from home. Nightmare.

FrankieKnuckles · 23/03/2020 11:35

I dunno. I have so much work to do. It's a nightmare

fromnowhere · 23/03/2020 13:19

It may not be helpful to you, but my workplace is asking people to flex their hours if it helps. So i will be working with the children half the day then sticking them in front of the TV for the rest of the afternoon while I work. Colleagues have taken some dependancy leave and some are going to split their hours and do some at night. There are no good options, but hopefully your employer will be helpful?

gwenneh · 23/03/2020 13:29

Badly, that's how.

We've been on home schooling for about a week and a half longer in my part of the US. My advice to anyone facing this right now is expect the first week to be a shitshow as the kids get used to remote learning. Expectations from the teachers have changed so there's a bit of time needed to get to grips with that. We're using Google Classroom which takes a bit of navigation but now two weeks in we're starting to get the hang of it, the DC are done with schoolwork very early, and the rest of the day can just be managed as we WFH.

I'm flexing hours and DH and I are taking a divide-and-conquer strategy; he's teaching the reception student and I have the year 4. I realise that's not possible for everyone but it might help if that's an option.

Grasspigeons · 23/03/2020 13:29

You just do your best. I know that sounds trite but what else can you do. Schools are trying to give a normal structured timetable and some will manage.but many families wont.
I think i would email the school and explain the situation explain that because your child needs support it may not be during normal school hours.
I think i would try working earlier and later as much as possible and maybe schedule some annual leave days in.

And try school stuff at the weekend, your holiday days.
When you really need to concentrate use electronics

peacebypeace · 23/03/2020 13:34

I will be sending things home for parents to do with the children (as a SALT) but really won't expect all of them to do it, especially those with parents who are wfh. My approach is providing resources and activities that are there if helpful, but without expectation or pressure for parents. Try not to panic, you can only do your best and everyone understands this is an extremely unusual time.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 23/03/2020 13:38

flexible hours

Give up on chores, work instead very first thing in the morning.
Midday when the kids are having lunch in front of the tv
Evenings as soon as they are in bed.

Chores done as a family activity...

It's exhausting, but it works quite well.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 23/03/2020 13:38

*if the nature of your job allows you to be flexible obviously

Or do the school homework before and after your work.

LaurieMarlow · 23/03/2020 13:39

It’s a nightmare. Yes.

You have to manage everyone’s expectations. Let
school know you’re struggling. You’re doing your best, but you’ve a lot on your plate. Same with work.

It’s a very difficult situation and you’re not superwoman.

Waveysnail · 23/03/2020 13:41

You dont. If you can - flex the hours wfh. With like of late start or longer lunch. If you cant just do an hour in the evening.

JudyCoolibar · 23/03/2020 13:42

Can't you send the older one to school?

SebastienCrabSauce · 23/03/2020 13:43

My children are NT and I am struggling, so hats off to anyone that is able to do with SN children as well.
I’m working full time hours, single parent to kids aged 5 & 9 and I’m stressed out to fuck,
My job in very demanding, I have no idea how we can go on like this for weeks on end.
We’re only 1 week in

WitchSharkadder · 23/03/2020 13:44

I'm in the same boat, 4 DC and one with complex SN who is completely refusing to wfh as he compartmentalises his life and home is not the place for work.

I've managed precisely nothing for my work this morning.

It's going to be a really long few months.

JustInCaseCakeHappens · 23/03/2020 13:45

Can't you send the older one to school?

you know the schools are closed right?

Childcare is the last possible extremity for someone who is a KEY worker, not for someone working from home who is juggling a lot.

Have a bit of respect for key workers who have no choice,and let's limit the risk for their children shall we?

heyjoeyitsestelle · 23/03/2020 13:46

DH and I are tag teaming in and out. Doing an hour on hour off roughly. Both working when 1 year old naps. Keeping 5 year old busy with different activities. Tho quite lucky as neither of us are super busy!

megletthesecond · 23/03/2020 13:47

I don't know. I work tues-thurs and my DD has been pretty hellish today, laptop was nearly thrown.
I'm going to have to accept she can't do school work on my working days and will have to watch YouTube slime videos all day.

PianoTuner567 · 23/03/2020 13:51

Same here. Both trying to WFH but two kids who need to have some kind of education. It is stressful and I’m trying not to get snappy.

I am having some success with things like Mathletics and BBC Bitesize - it means they’re staring at an iPad but they are educational. They’ve been really resistant to the more formal learning I’ve tried to do today but I think they will come to accept it.

I also plan to let them watch more TV than usual but along the lines of Newsround, Horrible Histories, basically CBBC educational type programmes rather than their usual YouTube/Netflix crap.

I cannot spend every day in a combination of stress and guilt for weeks on end, so I need to find a way through.

Queenunikitty · 23/03/2020 13:54

I have an SN child, DH and I both work full time and are busy. DC is watching YouTube and gaming, we have done some school work today but not much. My attitude is that if DCs private schools wants to stay in business after this is over, they can suck it up. I’m not qualified to teach and my autistic kid has very clear definitions between home and school. I am not a ‘performance parent’ and am not about to start being one now. All the SAHM at my kid’s school have been posting pics of their perfect kids in their perfect home schools all morning. Good for them. It’s not something I can do so that’s that. And I have a very understanding employer so I’m one of the lucky ones! I’d like to come out of this still having a job, paying into my pension and with a chance of being independent if my DH leaves (or dies). I may not be a ‘key worker’ but this country needs the financial services industry to stay afloat if we’re going to have to pay back all this crisis borrowing.

Original poster

chocoholico · 23/03/2020 13:55

Can't you send the older one to school?

yes I could as DC has an EHCP but as I WFH, I think it is much more responsible to keep them at home to stop the virus spreading. Sending DC in would help me but that's not really the point right now, is it?

OP posts:

ChiaraRimini · 23/03/2020 15:57

I am trying to work when the DC doesn't need me. How about slotting in an hour or two in the morning before they are up. Then spend a couple of hours with them on home ed-have one doing a task they can manage independently while you work with the other, then swap.
Then have lunch, let them go on devices and try and get some work done. Can you switch the phone off while you are doing home ed?
Also speak to your boss they can't expect 100% productivity at the moment.

Original poster

chocoholico · 23/03/2020 16:37

spoke to them. They offered for me to late in the evening until the early hours in the morning. They understand it is hard but ultimately the say it's not their problem. Plant to work from 8 pm until 2 am now (i am not full time). DC with SN doesn't sleep much so will probably have to get to by 6. oh well

OP posts:

TipseyTorvey · 23/03/2020 16:51

I turned on my work laptop this morning thinking I could set the kids off and email in between. Not a chance. They're not even being that demanding, one is asd so harder, but it's the reality of looking after children. I cannot work and teach at the same time. I wonder how many women (and it will mostly be women) are forced to resign? Boss (with a sahm) now asking for an update on a report and I have no idea when I'll be able to deliver.

DICarter1 · 23/03/2020 16:54

Similar boat. Wfh 7 year old with complex Sen, 10 year old also with Sen and 12 year old with no issues but in first year of high school. I’ve spent all day working as I have deadlines tomorrow. Feeling guilty that the kids have just dossed about. Not sure how we’ll cope moving forward.

DICarter1 · 23/03/2020 16:56

I’m also having the issue with the two children with Sen who think school work is for school. When I suggested Joe Wicks for PE tomorrow morning, the 10 year old with autism said “At school we do PE in the afternoon”. So that shut down that.

Queenunikitty · 23/03/2020 16:58

Agree, there will be far fewer working mums in the work place after this... when companies start looking for redundancies as this wears on, the working mums with husbands in work, like me, will be the first to go I’m sure. Nothing we can do about it ... this will create pension problems later down the line etc etc etc. The impact of this on all our financial futures is HUGE.

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