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Original poster

Mother’s Day letdown

59 replies

LouiseTrees · 22/03/2020 18:36

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable in the current climate but my husband didn’t buy anything for what was my first Mother’s Day and left me alone with the baby for most of it while he slept. I mean I know we can’t go out but a bunch of flowers, a pair of pyjamas, a baby grow with a cute saying on it, none of this would have broke the bank. Am I wrong to feel a little deflated?

OP posts:
ArabSprings · 22/03/2020 19:01

I think some men need a bit of reminding and a push. So next time just tell him you’d at the very least expect a lie in and maybe some breakfast in bed - it’s only once a year! (Though I also expect these on birthdays and valentines too...Grin) no excuse for his laziness!

mumto2teenagers · 22/03/2020 19:01

I think this year is like no other year.

I am normally very thoughtful and get something special for my mum, this year I did get her flowers and a card in Tesco but only because I had to go shopping for essentials. I would not have gone out only to get Mother’s Day presents as don’t really see this as essential. My Mum told me not to bother and I told my DDs not to bother, I did get a card and chocs but only because my dd1 said she bought it a few weeks ago when she got paid she put it from her and her sister to avoid dd2 going out.

There are more important things to think about at the moment. Do you think your DH saw Mother’s Day spending as non essential, even though I am working from home at the moment DH and I are very careful about money at the moment with such uncertainty around.

recycledbottle · 22/03/2020 19:04

It depends whether he is going to the shops. We are avoiding the shops doing only one weekly shop do I didn't get anything. My DS made me breakfast and my DH did all chores, dinner, bath, bedtime etc today. I wouldn't be annoyed about the card/present but don't think he should have been sleeping for the day.

fessmess · 22/03/2020 19:05

Ffs. Mother's Day seems a dream like fantasy to me. Thinking more about stopping the collapse of the NHS and 250000 more deaths. 😴

Crunchymum · 22/03/2020 19:07

Why didn't you wake the lazy fucker up?

Jaxhog · 22/03/2020 19:20

YANBU. He didn't have to go out, he could have made you breakfast in bed, or looked after the baby for a couple of hours or made your favourite pudding. But staying in bed all day unless he's very ill? That's just mean.

crispysausagerolls · 22/03/2020 19:22

Ok but... why did you just allow him to behave this way?!

Original poster
LouiseTrees · 22/03/2020 19:26

Okay guys who say “people are dying”. I’m well aware of this ( nhs cousins and also family abroad on full lockdown) and that in the grand scheme of things it’s nothing to feel a bit deflated. I’m going to close the thread once I can work out how but seriously he could’ve at least not gone upstairs and to sleep for extended periods twice!

OP posts:
Bubblewings · 22/03/2020 19:26

“he did buy a card so he had gone to the shops anyway but he didn’t write it.”

OP do you mean he bought you a Mother’s Day card but left it blank?

Original poster
LouiseTrees · 22/03/2020 19:29

Bubblewings he left it just lying about and I found it unwritten at 4pm

OP posts:
Bubblewings · 22/03/2020 19:30

...also I agree with you, the terrible situation we are all in at the moment doesn’t automatically take away your feelings about this. Surely, now more than ever, a little thoughtfulness from a husband to his wife would be greatly appreciated.

crispysausagerolls · 22/03/2020 19:32

Why didn’t you just say to him before the entire day was gone “excuse me
But it’s Mother’s Day. You haven’t gone to any effort whatsoever, and now it’s my turn to have a bath/go for a drive/relax alone. Here is baby you lazy shit”???

Or better yet tell
Him
The night before you want breakfast in bed or otherwise

blondehalo · 22/03/2020 19:32

He could have at least written the bloody card!

Never mind the shops there are lots of thoughtful free things he could have done at home to make it special.

Don't let it pass by let him know that you'd like more effort next year.

iano · 22/03/2020 19:32

Have you spoken to him and told him how you feel? I think this is really thoughtless and mean. It shows a total lack of care. Thanks

Bubblewings · 22/03/2020 19:33

Sorry just seen your update - that’s not good.
I hope he gets his arse into gear and apologises Flowers

Original poster
LouiseTrees · 22/03/2020 19:44

Thanks all. I’ve asked they close the thread so hopefully will be done soon.

OP posts:
Nomorepies · 22/03/2020 19:48

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

user1497787065 · 22/03/2020 19:49

We don't and have never done Mother's Day. When I read things like this I am so pleased I have never indulged in this complete nonsense.

Barbies97 · 22/03/2020 19:52

He could've made the day special, he didn't, not acceptable. FlowersFlowers for you.

Soubriquet · 22/03/2020 19:55

Yanbu

If he hadn’t had gone out, he could have done things at home like look after the baby and let you rest. Maybe even cooked a meal

But he has been out, got a card he didn’t even bother writing in and not even a little something for you.

He is showing who he is. Listen

He doesn’t give a shit about you

Brunelofbrio · 22/03/2020 19:59

Yanbu. I know things are tricky at the moment... but I remember how devastated I was when DH did this when DC1 was a baby.

It literally hadn’t occurred to him that this was something he needed to do. It’s the thought that counts and it’s the lack of thought that is hurtful.

I had to ( once I’d calmed down) explain all this and now DH at least makes an effort- although Mother’s Day is still pretty low key chez Brio

If1knewiwouldnotbehere · 22/03/2020 19:59

It's pretty crap all round, other than the fact we are at least together, so you have company.

I don't get why anyone is talking about shopping. It's not an unexpected event. Mothers Day has been advertised since February 15th.. You're saying a token gift for the mother of his new baby is too much to ask? Nah pretty thoughtless.

Remember this doesnt make him a bad person, Mothers day may not be important to him and remember you are not his mother.

Rosebel · 22/03/2020 20:01

Not unreasonable at all. He could have at least let you have a lie in and breakfast in bed and as he had gone to the shop he could have got you a present too.
I had a rubbish day but that was because my baby stopped moving and I had to spend most of the day at the hospital. That doesn't mean I can't appreciate someone else has,also had a rubbish day.
I also think given the current circumstances we should be showing appreciation for our mums.
I hope all of you who s partners didn't make an effort won't be making an effort on Father's day.

iano · 22/03/2020 20:01

Aww op I hope this thread didn't make you feel worse. There's always someone willing to stick the boot in. What he did is shit! Don't let him get away with it.

phoenixrosehere · 22/03/2020 20:09

Yanbu.

Signage about Mother’s Day has been up for weeks and it is in the same month every year. I work in retail and we had Mother’s Day cards arrive the same week as Valentines Day and set out the weekend after. I even asked my husband weeks in advance if he wanted me to pick one up for his mum and to post it since I could do it before work. Of course, he said no, only to forget and tried to send one the day before via Moonpig and with everything going on it won’t get there til probably next weekend. He paid for a takeaway though in the meantime for his mum who lives hours away.

Bare minimum would have been a signed card and he couldn’t even do that.

Ignore the people trying to minimise your feelings due to covid19; they forget people are capable of feeling two things at once.