About no effort for first Mothering Sunday?

[Bubble77bee]

It’s my first Mothering Sunday as a Mum, and I’m feeling upset that my partner has done nothing to mark the occasion, not even a card. (I know it’s tomorrow, but I asked him, and he said it wasn’t a priority, with the current situation). Now, I know this might seem really petty, but he has form for this sort of thing. Last year I got nothing on my birthday. I think even if we weren’t in the midst of the corona virus crisis, he probably still wouldn’t have done anything. He spends hours every day online, but doesn’t think ahead to spend 5 mins ordering me a card. I’m not after grand gestures at all, just a little bit of thought and effort. AIBU to expect better, despite the current crisis our country is facing?

YANBU. He should’ve been more prepared. Yes there are more important things going on but supermarkets are open, why couldn’t he have just popped in to buy a card and some chocolate or flowers or something?

Well you know what to do on Father’s Day!

No I am sorry, mothers day is for a child to show appreciation to their Mum. You and he should be thanking your Mums. When your child is older he can encourage him/her to draw you a card/picture, enough. Domt fall into the marketting trap

Asking in advance feels a bit unreasonable, although I get that you were stressed about it. I would find it odd if DH asked in advance if I’d got him a Father’s Day card - and I might say “no.”

What @NoMorePoliticsPlease said.

Plus what your dp said in terms of the situation this week. Nobody should be "just popping into supermarkets to buy flowers / chocs and a card" at the moment.
Haven't you read anything about the situation we are in ?

Mothering Sunday isn't here yet. Your DH may well be planning breakfast in bed, have a card and present lined up. He might also be somewhat distracted/scared/overwhelmed...

My DH just apologised for forgetting about Mothers Day tomorrow. I really couldn't give any less of a crap about it.

The baby is enough, the cards are just silly.

Yes and no. On the 1 hand he’s right, it really isn’t a priority with everything going on. BUT my dp used to have form for this too and I completely understand how you feel! He could get a card or flowers etc, really minimum effort stuff. It’s the small things that matter right now I think

@NoMorePoliticsPlease come on, it's a nice gesture for your husband/partner to do something for your first Mother's Day. Doesn't have to be expensive, just a token something is fine. DH organised the evening so I could have a bath, doesn't sound much, but he cleaned the bathroom, got new shower curtains, nice bubble bath, candles, got it all set up while I was napping with DS and it was so lovely.

@BackforGood why not? If he’s going for food shopping, why not grab a card while he’s there?

YANBI in my opinion
My DH always marked Mothers ' Day when the DC were little
Tell him how you feel

@Backforgood, bit harsh! Of course I understand our current situation, hence why I referred to it in my post. And I also didn’t say anything in my post about expecting him to nip to the shops, I talked about ordering a card online.
I think I’m finding it hard to accept coronavirus as an excuse, because I think he wouldn’t have done anything anyway.
Thanks for all the replies though, it’s useful to hear your views and put it all into perspective.

@Bubble77bee did you tell him you want something doing? Its my first as a mum too, and my DH isn't much for thst sort of thing but it matters to me so i asked him if he could do something for me on behalf of DD. I can hear him wrapping something downstairs while I feed the baby to sleep. He wouldn't have thought of it on his own, which is fine, so i asked him to do something, and im sure whatever it is will be lovely.

Sort of, I’ve reminded him a few times over the last few weeks that it’s coming up. Last year when I was pregnant on Mother’s Day, a friend commented on it, and I told him that I hadn’t expected him to mark it last year, but that I would this year.
I think partly I’m embarrassed for when my other new mum friends share their Mother’s Day celebrations, and I will have nothing to say.

It's also my first Mother's Day but we won't be marking it. I'd find it a little strange for my partner to buy a card on behalf of my baby. I'm looking forward to receiving hand-made cards and gifts when my child is older. However I would be very annoyed if my partner forgot my birthday.

I think it would be nice if he showed you a bit of appreciation by making you breakfast in bed or something at least on Mothers Day, but I don't think you should necessarily expect it. YANBU to expect something from him on your birthday though. He sounds selfish OP.

Yanbu op
@SomeoneElseEntirelyNow but it’s not the same is it when you have to actually ask someone to do something nice for you? Do you have to instruct and guide him in everything he does?

Normally I'd say yabu given the circumstances but given what you say about him in general yanbu, he sounds useless. Definitely return the favour on his birthday/father's day

It is not important. What is important is how you are treated on all other days. If you want it to be important, be explicit and plan yourself.

"I think partly I’m embarrassed for when my other new mum friends share their Mother’s Day celebrations, and I will have nothing to say."

So it's all just for show then?

It’s still Saturday

YANBU

I’d be upset too; I’ve just had my second baby and I mentioned to DH that I didn’t mind if he hadn’t got anything for me with the current situation but I’d like to mark it like have a lie in or a roast all together (food supplies allowing).

My comment about 'just nipping to the shops' was in response to MargotMonde's reply.

I'd find it a little strange for my partner to buy a card on behalf of my baby. I'm looking forward to receiving hand-made cards and gifts when my child is older.
This ^
On Mother's Days, I would treat my Mum (until she died), and then when the dc are old enough to be attending Nursery or school then they make you something and it is lovely, because, you know, dc are acknowledging their mother.

The fact you've now said it is all for what you can 'show and tell' to your friends shows that this is nothing to do with your dc appreciating you as their mother, which is what it is supposed to be about.

You’re not his mum.
Honestly, would a card he’d just picked up, put no effort into picking, have actually meant something to you?