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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To send my SEN child to school?

70 replies

NeonQT · 21/03/2020 08:50

Hi, I’m just asking for peoples opinion really. My child attends a special school for social, emotional and mental health. He has behavioural problems and problems with his emotions aswell as dyspraxia and ?adhd. My original plan was to send him to school Monday as his friends are still going and I still want him to get a education and routine, and I’m not sure he’ll actually co-operate with me trying to get him to learn.

Since last night I’ve had a bit of a change of heart and I’m thinking of keeping him off since it’s safe to do so and I have 4 other children so feel like there’s not much point self isolating them if he’s still attending school. I’m at home with them anyway so don’t need childcare. Obviously this Covid19 is getting more serious day by day and now I’m not sure.

OP posts:
formerbabe · 21/03/2020 08:53

If it was me, I'd still send him in.

amy85 · 21/03/2020 08:55

Keep him off...Schools really should only be used if necessary...

SanFran19 · 21/03/2020 08:56

No you aren’t but it’s what is best for you’re family as whole. My ds is autistic and he will be going to school (specialist) next week. DH works full time and I’m at home so I fully expect to be slated for it. But my other children aren’t allowed to go to school and so they’ll need to be able to get there work done. School have set firm revision/work sessions and they have to do some live chat group sessions with other kids in their year. Despite all the effort in the world from myself my ds would not give them any peace. He would be deeply disturbed being off for a considerable amount of time as it’s his routine so I have chosen to send him. If that makes me selfish so be it.

formerbabe · 21/03/2020 08:57

Schools really should only be used if necessary

The ops ds falls under the category the government say can still attend. There's a reason for that.

SanFran19 · 21/03/2020 08:58

Oh and I’m sorry for the typos. I was rushing. I just thought I’d mention it before the grammar police start lol.

GinDrinker00 · 21/03/2020 09:03

Keep him off. They won’t be getting an education and it won’t be to the routine they’re used too. My son has an ECHP and is staying off. Why would you put your child at more risk catching it? Hmm

nicknackpaddy · 21/03/2020 09:04

Keep him at home

Waveysnail · 21/03/2020 09:05

He wont be getting an education - most schools have stated it's a babysitting service only.

BeansOnToast4T · 21/03/2020 09:08

My son has autism and severe learning disabilities - he attends a special school. The advice we have been given is that if at all possible the children should be at home. It's going to be hard but it is the safest option.
I think the government has given a very mixed message on schools being open for "vulnerable" children.
The way it is being implemented in my area in Wales is that school is only there for childcare of key workers who have no alternative and for safeguarding childen at risk.

SanFran19 · 21/03/2020 09:09

Maybe check with the school what the day will consist of ie will it be the same typical day or will they be in a different class doing other things. My ds’s school have assured me things are continuing as normal as they only have one member off and most kids will returning next week so there will be no switching of classes or teachers.

BlessedBeTheFruitCake · 21/03/2020 09:09

My dc has attends a complex needs school and has an ehcp. It's currently closed anyway due to reduced staff but I'll be keeping them at home when they do manage to reopen until the other mainstream schools reopen properly. Some children cannot cope at home so for them it's about weighing up the risks of the virus and their mental well-being.

IndecentFeminist · 21/03/2020 09:10

I'd keep him at home. He won't be getting an education right now either way.

Branleuse · 21/03/2020 09:11

Keep him home unless you cant physically be there to look after him

amy85 · 21/03/2020 09:13

@formerbabe I am aware of the criteria front the government however schools still should be used only when absolutely necessary

Bannerpants · 21/03/2020 09:15

My son attends a SEN High school and they called me yesterday asking me if i wanted him to still attend. They said they were asking all parents to keep the children at home unless absolutely necessary.
I told them that my son would be at home until they call and ask for him to come back.
I can't see the point in sending him in to school where his routine is going to be even more disturbed than staying at home, his friends wont be there, half his teachers aren't there, and he won't actually be learning anything.

Original poster
NeonQT · 21/03/2020 09:15

Think it’s a hard one. He’s safe at home, we have no SS involvement or safeguarding concerns, and id rather keep keep the teachers free for the key workers children. But on the other hand he will interrupt the other children but that Does seem insignificant in comparison to what could happen if he does catch the virus.

OP posts:
daisypond · 21/03/2020 09:17

I would keep him at home.

preponderings · 21/03/2020 09:17

Keep him home.

What would happen if he caught it and needs treatment? Would he cope with being tested by medical staff in protective gear? Isolation in hospital?

Let him learn what he's interested in. Don't try to "get him to learn". His school should be able to provide guidance.

Letseatgrandma · 21/03/2020 09:19

I would keep him at home-I wouldn’t want to risk him getting the virus. The government have stated that you’re entitled to this childcare (not education) as they legally obliged to, but All advice is that it’s safest for them to be at home.

I would never forgive myself if my child caught it because I sent them in when I didn’t have to. This is serious.

stairgates · 21/03/2020 09:20

I would keep him home, I keep reading how this is spreading and every person indoors is helping limit it and the front line people:)

ForestYeti · 21/03/2020 09:20

My sons sen school are just taking the kids with social workers/most vulnerable but I wouldn’t be sending him if it was fully open as I think it’s better we isolate, he doesn’t have enough understanding to explain to him about the virus so he just thinks it’s school holidays at the min

nellodee · 21/03/2020 09:21

Keep him home.

LonginesPrime · 21/03/2020 09:22

If you can contain him at home, OP, I would.

My DC could technically go in because of their EHCPs but are off anyway for their own medical vulnerability.

If your DS caught the virus, where symptoms can apparently range from mild to fucking excruciating, would he cope?

It sounds like you'd potentially be making your situation far less manageable by risking exposure.

daisypond · 21/03/2020 09:23

What would happen if he caught it and needs treatment?
He won’t need treatment. Children don’t. The risk is him passing it on to a parent or granny or a doctor. That’s why he should stay at home.

preponderings · 21/03/2020 09:23

My 10 year old DS also has dyspraxia and adhd. He's been using the switch fitness game, ring fit adventure, to get some exercise.