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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To send my SEN child to school?

70 replies

NeonQT · 21/03/2020 08:50

Hi, I’m just asking for peoples opinion really. My child attends a special school for social, emotional and mental health. He has behavioural problems and problems with his emotions aswell as dyspraxia and ?adhd. My original plan was to send him to school Monday as his friends are still going and I still want him to get a education and routine, and I’m not sure he’ll actually co-operate with me trying to get him to learn.

Since last night I’ve had a bit of a change of heart and I’m thinking of keeping him off since it’s safe to do so and I have 4 other children so feel like there’s not much point self isolating them if he’s still attending school. I’m at home with them anyway so don’t need childcare. Obviously this Covid19 is getting more serious day by day and now I’m not sure.

OP posts:
whataloadoftoshasusual · 21/03/2020 11:21

Do not send him to school - the spread needs to be stopped by sending him you are increasing the chances of spreading. Education is insignificant to the reality of the NHS being overwhelmed which is what will happen. Spare a thought to the school staff that are risking their lives and their families lives to come in especially when your child does not need to be there as you are home.

Butterflywings1 · 21/03/2020 11:27

@judicoolibar that is the case in every special school I know of. Childcare for those that NEED it - no education.

amy85 · 21/03/2020 11:30

I work at a SEN school...our timetables have been cancelled, we have to keep to the same times for break and lunch and been told minimum maths and English lessons 4 times a week these lessons will consist of 10/15 minutes playing maths/English games online... we've been told to fill the time as we wish...so yea SEN schools are childcare too for the next few weeks

Lots of staff are absent, many classes are being merged...school won't be normal even in SEN

Fleetheart · 21/03/2020 11:33

My son has ADHD and other issues. He is taught 1-2-1, his school is open, I will send him in, his mental health will suffer massively without a routine.

dairyfairies · 21/03/2020 11:41

The ops ds falls under the category the government say can still attend. There's a reason for that.

I think government guidelines are still to just send them in if no other way even if they fall potentially into the bracket where they could attend. it does not necessarily mean they should.

DD has very complex needed, attends a special school and has an EHCP.

Her school cannot accommodate her as all children have EHCPs and they have too many staff off sick so cannot run the school safely.

I just started a new job, will have to do training via the internet and start working, have a younger child plus DD. But as I can work from home, I think it would be really egoistic of me to insist to send DD in (mind, they cannot take her in any way).

also, the children attending will probably largely DC of key workers, i.e. more at risk of getting Covid and passing it on. The whole idea if keeping them at home is to break the chain.

If you are at home, keep him at home. it's not education in any case, just childcare. do what's best for society not what is easiest for you.

claireyjs · 21/03/2020 11:56

You have to fo what you think is best for both your and their mental health. If your child needs routine and cant cope without that then send them in. I'm a teacher and that is what we are there for. Do not put yourself in a situation where you cant cope because your child has complex needs and you end up putting too much strain on yourself. I dont resent you for sending your child in and others should not judge you. If your beautiful young person needs us we are there for them and gladly so xx

Geekmama · 21/03/2020 12:00

Talking as a specialist teacher and a parent of a ASD Child:
please keep your child at home. School should be your last option.
I understand about being out of routine and how deregulating this could be for your child, but you really need to think about social responsibility as you could be putting others at risk.

Everyexitisanentrance · 21/03/2020 12:03

Sending them into school is a risk. Parents need to weigh up the risk to them. If school staff become infected then obviously some schools may have to close properly and students will be cared for in a central facility. Some multi academy trusts are planning this.

reefedsail · 21/03/2020 12:20

The three big special schools in my LA are currently fully closed. One says they are 'looking at how they could make provision for certain children'.

Sirzy · 21/03/2020 12:23

I really wouldn’t expect any sort of routine in time table or staffing if you send them in.

Ds could go in due to having an ehcp but upon discussion with the senco we agreed that actually sending him in would be counterproductive as it wouldn’t be school as he knows it

pigdogridesagain · 21/03/2020 12:28

My son is at a special needs school and has an EHCP but he is asthmatic so absolutely no way will he be going in.

Cissyandflora · 21/03/2020 12:31

In my opinion everyone who can keep their children home should do. I appreciate it’s much harder for children with additional needs but I still don’t think I would use a school at the moment.

StripyHorse · 21/03/2020 13:12

If you can keep him at home please do so!!

silenceattheback · 21/03/2020 13:32

Keep him home. It's not about his routine it's about his health and your other children's health.

BuzzingtheBee · 21/03/2020 14:11

Can he be cared for safely at home? If not send him in.

june2007 · 21/03/2020 14:17

You know your child and your lifestyle. Can you keep him home? Then do so. If you still need to work or you feal it will be detrimental to the child send to school.

feellikeanalien · 21/03/2020 14:37

DD has an EHCP but she doesn't have physical or complex needs.

I didn't hesitate to keep her at home. The chances are that key workers are likely to be more exposed to the virus eg, healthcare, supermarket workers so I wasn't willing to take the risk.

She is in mainstream school and they have posted work on the school website. I am sure we will have our moments but I'm actually quite looking forward to home schooling her.

I know it isn't the same for everyone but I think if I don't try and put a positive spin on it and try to make the best of it then I am just going to sink into misery.

DP is self-employed but his work is likely to dry up by the end of the month and we rent privately so it's very worrying.

Clipsy · 21/03/2020 14:40

Keep him home. He won't get anything worthwhile at school in terms of curriculum learning or normal routine. The building has to be open and staffed. He might be supervised in an empty classroom by office staff. It's for if you're really stuck otherwise.

Butteredtoast55 · 21/03/2020 14:44

Please keep him at home.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 21/03/2020 17:57

I think if you can possibly keep him at home without it being a disaster, you probably should.

My DD will be going to two days a week - as a trial, initially, to see how she and the school cope. DD has very complex needs and challenging behaviours and my DP was on his knees by lunchtime Friday (I was WFH and DD was off school with a stomach bug, so DP was in charge). I genuinely don’t think we could cope without the respite of school, but if we could, we’d keep her off.

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