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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel bad for sending my Dc to school.

31 replies

Forfoxsake29 · 20/03/2020 13:53

Dc are 12 & 10. Both myself and Dh are key workers and work shift work. Dd3 will be going play school come Monday.

Dd and Ds obviously don’t want to go school but i can’t imagine them not going school for 6 months. Dd struggles with school as it is and is behind with maths.

What should I do? Dh thinks they should both go school.

I feel so guilty but they would kill each at home!

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 20/03/2020 13:55

They're too young to leave unsupervised really

modgepodge · 20/03/2020 13:55

I doubt if they’ll get much teachin input at school. My understanding is that it will be operating like childcare, with kids just being supervised doing whatever work the other kids are doing at home. If you don’t have to send them in, don’t.

MyNameHasBeenTaken · 20/03/2020 13:56

At 10 and 12, I would at least send the younger one in. Maybe not every day, depending on your shift pattern.
How sensible is your 12 year old?
Maybe send them on alternate days?

GirlCalledJames · 20/03/2020 13:56

If they don’t need to go for you to work they are not supposed to go.
There won’t be real teaching, it’s childcare.

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/03/2020 13:56

If you work opposite shifts they no don’t send them in. The advice is very clearly key workers can send there children in only if it’s necessary.

Letseatgrandma · 20/03/2020 13:57

but i can’t imagine them not going school for 6 months. Dd struggles with school as it is and is behind with maths.

I’m not sure what you are expecting. Schools are closed; this will be childcare.

Letseatgrandma · 20/03/2020 13:57

I feel so guilty but they would kill each at home!

Hang on-that suggests it’s a possibility?

Original poster
Forfoxsake29 · 20/03/2020 13:58

Well I asked if I could send them monday- Wednesday, and the oldest said yep but youngest have said no due to staff rotas?

OP posts:
MyDcAreMarvel · 20/03/2020 13:58

Parents whose work is critical to the COVID-19 response include those who work in health and social care and in other key sectors outlined below. Many parents working in these sectors may be able to ensure their child is kept at home. And every child who can be safely cared for at home should be.

Please, therefore, follow these key principles:

If it is at all possible for children to be at home, then they should be.

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/03/2020 13:59

Op do you work opposite shifts?

Original poster
Forfoxsake29 · 20/03/2020 13:59

I couldn’t leave them home no, I work 9-5 and dh works all different shifts.

OP posts:
Isseyflora · 20/03/2020 13:59

YABU.

I know it’s difficult and under normal circumstances I’d say 12 and 10 is a bit on the young side but you can certainly keep the 12 year old off. Poor kid.

PleaseStopCrying · 20/03/2020 13:59

Are you working opposite shifts? If at all possible you need to keep thek off.

I also really dont think people understand that there will be no learning taking place for those going to school. They will at most be doing the same work as those at home have been set in home learning packs and worst case scenario is they are being babysat.

MrsNWT · 20/03/2020 14:05

School ❤️ definitely school all the way! I'm sure it's going to be great with so few kids around.

ghostyslovesheets · 20/03/2020 14:10

I feel bad for the school - they are stretched but my youngest is 11 and will go one day a week

I have 2 teens at home but the eldest is starting work next week in a supermarket so will not be here and the 15 year old is not quiet old enough to provide 1-1 care all day for 3 days a week - I can do some work from home but need to have 1 day a week for office based stuff and face to face contact with 'clients' (hate that term) - so I've opted to ask for 1 day.

They asked is my ex could help but he is self employed and fighting to keep his business going and his partner is carer for her 86 year old father so not ideal

Don't feel guilty - we have to do our jobs

isseyflora · 20/03/2020 14:15

Please tell me that is a joke MrsNWT

11 should be old enough for one day a week ghosty, especially with older siblings there.

ghostyslovesheets · 20/03/2020 14:25

it probably will not be just one day though - I am a small sub team of 3 - 2 of which are either returning with a disability or off long term sick from this week so I will need to step up - so it's likely to be 5 days and I can't work from home for more than 2 realistically because my job only has so much admin!

isseyflora · 20/03/2020 14:26

Two days for a NT 11 year old is fine.

Iminaglasscaseofemotion · 20/03/2020 14:47

If you or your husband is at home at any point then yiur children should be at home. Your 12 year old could probably be left alone. 10 is a bit young imo. Your children should onky be going into school if absolutely necessary.
Schools are being used as childcare atm, they will not be teaching the children as they would usually do. Please do remember, they will be under a lot of pressure with staff numbers being depleted. Children should not be attending school unless it's the only option.

ghostyslovesheets · 20/03/2020 14:48

Being polite I know my children and will use my judgment Smile

Isseyflora · 20/03/2020 14:51

It’s not very polite when it has health implications for everybody else ghosty

underneaththeash · 20/03/2020 14:58

Just send them in when your and your DH's shifts clash and you both need to be at work.

AlwaysCheddar · 20/03/2020 15:19

It’s going to be childcare, not schooling.

bridgetreilly · 20/03/2020 16:39

OP, I don't really understand what you think the alternative is? If they can't safely be left at home, then they need to go in to school for the provided childcare. If you have some other alternative, great, but it doesn't sound like you do.

bridgetreilly · 20/03/2020 16:41

I also don't understand what you feel guilty about. For ensuring they are properly supervised while you are at work?