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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should we allow separate transactions from the same family?

153 replies

UserXRay29 · 20/03/2020 09:21

So I work in a small supermarket and we're limiting essential items to two per customer. But daily, we're getting excuses and justifications why that's not enough for people.

Some people are shopping for large families, others are shopping for neighbours - and it really causes problems for staff because we don't know whether we should be letting people rejoin the queue to do a second shop. Where do you draw the line and how do people prove they're shopping for neighbours? As far as I know, they can't, and we'll just get more abuse for asking for proof anyway.

On the CV board, people are advocating DPs paying separately so they can get twice the amount whilst a post on AIBU is threatening to report a worker for flouting the restrictions and putting things through as separate transactions.

I'm usually easygoing - I don't ID people for booze or scratchcards when they're with their children. But this isn't really about loopholes, it's about making sure there's something for everyone.

So, back to my topic question, are we unreasonable NOT to allow this?

OP posts:
gingersausage · 20/03/2020 12:22

@Butterymuffin I feel like this needs to be pinned at the top of the CV board, but Milk & More aren’t taking on new customers.

MyDcAreMarvel · 20/03/2020 12:26

I have a family of ten only my dh can leave the house as I am high risk. They need to officially ration per person.

HPFA · 20/03/2020 12:28

@Frannyhy

I don't know what to do about this - I'm 53 and go quite long stretches without a period now BUT I can't yet say they've gone for good - went six months once and then - flood!

So I have no idea how much to have in stock for myself and DD.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 20/03/2020 12:28

gingersausage, it’s not just Milkandmore, Riverford veg and Abel and Cole aren’t accepting new customers either, not at the moment anyway.

swishthecat · 20/03/2020 12:30

I agree that we need ration books or something that shows how many people you are shopping for.

If a London lockdown is announced, people will start looting I bet.

ppeatfruit · 20/03/2020 12:30

Yes it's about time rationing was in place .

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 20/03/2020 12:32

having young children does not make you a protected class or give you more rights than anyone else.

I'm not asking for more rights. I just want to know how while following Government instructions I'm meant to feed my children if other people can't buy food for us. I mean I'd like to be allowed to give my kids a fighting change of staying fed and hydrated whilst trying to do the right thing by keeping my temperature, cough and chest pain way from everyone else...i.e. the same rights as everyone else should have right now.

I don't consider myself a protected class. I also don't read Mummy bloggers, didn't want children (dh did) and am well aware of my failings to realise I'm so fucking far from sainthood.

alloutoffucks · 20/03/2020 12:33

All you can do is shop daily like a lot of us are having to.

Sweatheart · 20/03/2020 12:38

All you can do is shop daily like a lot of us are having to.

But that isnt possible if you're in isolation, does it?

Soontobe60 · 20/03/2020 12:38

I found some soap in Tesco yesterday, a 4 pack of Dove. They had 3 packs left and one single bar of a different soap. I only needed 2 bars for me and my mum. I asked at the checkout if I could split the pack and just buy 2 bars but couldn’t! Seems daft!
I ended up putting 2 bars in the food bank box they have after the checkout.

Soontobe60 · 20/03/2020 12:40

@Dinosauratemydaffodils
You do know that tap water will keep your kids hydrated?

isittheholidaysyet · 20/03/2020 12:40

The problem is not potatoes.

The problem is that some people (a lo on this thread it would seem) think it it is fair that they as a single/double person house hold get to have a whole portion of dinner each, because they can buy the full amount. Where as large families or those shopping for multiple people (and the multiple people) only get a 7th of a portion of dinner, or a 6th or a 10th or whatever it is.

There is no food, it doesn't matter what kind it is.

We need rationing now.

Dinosauratemydaffodils · 20/03/2020 12:48

@Soontobe60

It would if I could make my 5 year old drink it. He won't. He'd rather not drink at all than drink water. It's been an ongoing battle which I'm currently losing. I've tried adding everything I can think of including food colouring. I can usually get away with diluting fresh juice with water as long as he sees the juice bottle or he'll drink milk. On top of that, our water supply has been cut off twice during the time we've been in self isolation.

All you can do is shop daily like a lot of us are having to.

if that's to me... I wish I could. However given that I have all the symptoms, I think that would be rather irresponsible don't you?

fascinated · 20/03/2020 12:50

Maybe this will force folk to eat a bit less. I know I can afford to cut down.

Sweatheart · 20/03/2020 12:52

Where as large families or those shopping for multiple people (and the multiple people) only get a 7th of a portion of dinner, or a 6th or a 10th or whatever it is.

I dont think that's what most people are saying to be fair. But we do need a fair system across the board as the only people the current system is working for is single person households who are not isolating.

Polkadotpjs · 20/03/2020 12:52

The “I need 5 potatoes” sums it up. The word need isn’t being used as it should. We don’t need half as much food as we have in this country (some have way too little too )
If we all are just what we needed there would be enough. Period. My parents in law sent us paracetamol yesterday - 2 packets. We don’t need it. Didn’t ask for it. They clearly have a huge stash and there’s no need. I’m seeing swaps and drop offs on my Facebook group of Calpol and loo rolls. This wouldn’t have happened if folks only bought when needed

alloutoffucks · 20/03/2020 12:54

@Dinosauratemydaffodils Sorry I cross posted with you. Of course you should not being shopping daily.

Imstillskanking · 20/03/2020 12:55

It is difficult because in fairness a single person who lives alone having 2 of these in demand items is very different to a family of 6, or someone who is shopping for their local elderly neighbours having to share only 2 of these items. How can you really know?

isittheholidaysyet · 20/03/2020 12:56

sweatheart

What are they saying then because that is what I am hearing/understanding?

Imstillskanking · 20/03/2020 12:56

Some people are being a bit vomit inducing. Yes, we get it, you are so selfless for only wanting to buy the tiniest amount of an essential item. Stop bragging about it. Do you want gold stars?

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 20/03/2020 12:58

Surely if you want four tins of baked deans, but you’re only permitted three, then you buy three and then substitute with something else? It’s not as if they’re actually preventing you from buying stuff, just not giving you multitudes of your favourites? It’s those who have to use public transport or walk and discover that the shelves are genuinely striped bare of any food, that I feel sorry for.

Weregoingonanadventure · 20/03/2020 12:58

I dont know. I wish there was some use of common sense. I tried to buy a block of cheddar cheese, a goats cheese, a feta cheese and a port salut. Which is what I buy every week. They could check my clubcard history to see that, but I had to put 1 back as I was only allowed 3 cheese. I know everyone is after cheddar, but no one is panic buying goats cheese and it had a short date on it.
I tried to buy 2 packs of frubes and 2 tubs of Greek yoghurt; again, that's what I buy ever week but I was only allowed 3 yoghurt products. I put mine back so my kids still had theirs.
I got my usual blue milk, had ti buy 3 small ones as they had no big ones. And they wouldn't let me buy 1 skimmed milk for my neighbour.

My trolley was really obviously just a normal shop for a family of 3, and I hadn't been in a shop for 7 days so I needed my shopping but wasnt allowed because they've spent a week and a half allowing people to strip the shelves without saying no. They're also allowing people to go out to their cars and come back in. Regular shoppers arent doing that kind if crap but the panic buyers are; and they arent being stopped.

They need to start using some common sense.

lyralalala · 20/03/2020 13:06

I think this is where the demise of the smaller shops is really, really showing.

The local butcher/baker would have known that Mr Smith lives alone, that Mary has 5 kids and feeds the two neglected kids from number 6, that Irene's husband keeps her short of cash and that Bill is a twat who'd buy everything allowed.

Hopefully as more people go back to shopping in the better stocked smaller shops they might actually survive and even thrive. As long as they don't get abandoned for Tesco bogof deals at the first sign of recovery.

anothernotherone · 20/03/2020 13:12

This is where you need ID cards until ration books are produced.

Why should the well off single man in a job done just to make money and no use to anyone else be able to stock up his American fridge and separate freezer with double what he needs and throw half of it out when it goes off, while a multigenerational family of housebound grandmother, essential worker parents and three young children have to survive on the same allowance between the six of them that he has to himself?

rootsonshow · 20/03/2020 13:15

I have just been in Aldi and bought 2 packets of toilet rolls and 2 bottles of milk. None of the items where for me, they are for people who cannot get out. The person on the checkout was understanding when I offered to ring the people that i was shopping for.
The sad fact is that the greedy few are putting others in hardship.