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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Cleaner won't accept payment, and ideas

59 replies

Zazz101 · 20/03/2020 08:14

I am just looking for a bit of advice. I have a fantastic cleaner, due to the current issues I have asked her not to come for the next month, but I have offered to pay. However, she will not accept it. I feel extremely uncomfortable, as it was my decision to ask her not to come. Has anyone got any suggestions how I can get her to accept my offer of payment.

OP posts:

bluebunnyblue · 20/03/2020 08:16

How do you pay her? If bank transfer just pay her anyway!

drspouse · 20/03/2020 08:16

Can you give her a supermarket voucher instead?

Lockheart · 20/03/2020 08:17

If she won't accept it you can't force it on her. Leave the offer open but otherwise drop it.

TheGlitterFairy · 20/03/2020 08:19

Watching with interest as same here

Butterflyonmyshoulder · 20/03/2020 08:21

Maybe hold onto it and give her a bonus once she is back working.

Letsallscreamatthesistene · 20/03/2020 08:22

Give her a hamper of toilet rolls and pasta?!

If she wont accept it, you cant force her.

Just leave the offer out there. Honestly, its going to get awkward if you keep pushing the issue.

PeterPanGoesWrong · 20/03/2020 08:36

You can’t force her to take payment, but you can remember what a diamond you have with her and be more generous with giving bonuses throughout the year.

Treat her well at Christmas, for her birthday, annual leave, her anniversary, easter etc. You don’t need much of an excuse to spoil her a bit from now on do you.

Original poster

Zazz101 · 20/03/2020 08:43

I agree with this, she is an absolute diamond. I am still getting paid, and just feel very uncomfortable. I will just have to find away in the future to pay her back. It's just that I feel she may need it now.

OP posts:

annamie · 20/03/2020 09:12

The first post asked you how you pay her? A pertinent question!

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 20/03/2020 09:15

I’m a cleaner. Don’t force her but maybe when she starts back you could increase her pay a bit?

MusicTeacherSussex · 20/03/2020 09:31

If shes lost a lot of other work then maybe you paying her will interfere with any claims she has to make for universal credit. Just check you are not doing more harm than good. You sound lovely

HarrietTheShy · 20/03/2020 09:38

Put the money aside and tell her if she changes her mind at any point it's there for her. Duty discharged.

PicsInRed · 20/03/2020 09:40

She said no.
Meant kindly, she is a small business owner not a servant. I understand that your heart is in the right place, bit you really need to treat her preference with the respect of an equal.

annamie · 20/03/2020 09:46

I disagree @picsinred . This is not about treating anyone as a ‘servant’. This is about ensuring a self-employed person doesn’t lose out through no fault of her own.

The point here is that OP says she ‘offered’ the money. I think if OP just transfers the money without asking, that would have prevented all of this.

Original poster

Zazz101 · 20/03/2020 10:00

A servent.... That is not how I see her ! She is an integral part of my life that helps keep my house running, since I work incredibly long hours, and have children, one with SN. I don't pay her via bank transfer but will start as soon as I can so this situation does not happen again. She is a lovely lady, with huge morals that obviously feels uncomfortable accepting payment for work she can currently do through absolutely no fault of her own. I just wanted ideas of how I could try and get her to accept payment during this incredibly difficult time.

OP posts:

Langsdestiny · 20/03/2020 10:02

Same here. I havent cancelled the DD yet but she was clear they didnt want paying. Mine is an agency.

Boopeedoop · 20/03/2020 10:03

Tell her you will pay her 50% of her usual wage as a retainer? She may accept that. Then give her a bonus when she returns.

PenelopeFlintstone · 20/03/2020 10:06

Did you tell her that you’re still getting paid?

PicsInRed · 20/03/2020 10:10

Right.

But the woman said no. She said no.

Again, this is intended constructively, your feelings and need to feel that you are "doing the right thing" through a crisis do not trump her need to be able to independently determine her own financial needs - and say no to free money. She is a small business owner and she said no.

PicsInRed · 20/03/2020 10:18

Also, aside from the very correct post above about implications for universal credit, the govt will be paying up to £25,000 to small businesses worth less than £50,000 (iirc) and any ex gratia payments you make to her will need to be disclosed as income and could I interfere with that payment. She will want that payment more than your (very kindly intended) ex gratia as she will know that your circumstances could quickly change and prevent any further payment whilst the govt money would be ongoingly reliable.

wildflowersandweeds · 20/03/2020 10:23

What about getting her to do a deep clean once she's back?

Laurendelight · 20/03/2020 10:29

Why don’t you make it sound more business like. I’m paying you so that you can confirm you will come back and clean for me. A retainer sort of thing.

Original poster

Zazz101 · 20/03/2020 10:43

I like that idea Laurendelight, thank you.

OP posts:

gobbynorthernbird · 20/03/2020 10:58

If she's asked you not to pay her, then don't. You could fuck up a universal credit or insurance claim for her. I'm sure she has her reasons.

SouthWestmom · 20/03/2020 11:09

Christ this crisis has really brought out the virtue signalling along with the stockpiling wankers.

Why can't MN have a topic called 'tell me how nice I am'

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