Cleaner won't accept payment, and ideas

[Zazz101]

I am just looking for a bit of advice. I have a fantastic cleaner, due to the current issues I have asked her not to come for the next month, but I have offered to pay. However, she will not accept it. I feel extremely uncomfortable, as it was my decision to ask her not to come. Has anyone got any suggestions how I can get her to accept my offer of payment.

Also the 'I have to give my nasty opinion on OPs rather than scrolling by' twits too

Noeuf- I was asking for ideas on how to help someone without coming across as patronising to them. I was not asking for anyone to tell me how nice I am, that is not validation I need. This is an odd situation currently, and with every aspect of grown up life/ parenting I am winging it as I go along. I was, quite simply after ideas of how I could pay my cleaner during this situation we are facing. Nothing more, nothing less. I agree with a lot of posts on here , I have offered to pay, I have explained I am still been paid, and I do not fully know her reasons for not wanting to be paid, so I will leave it for now. I like the idea of a deep clean as and when this situation allows.

It's massively patronising though , just because she's a cleaner - MN go all Lady Bountiful over cleaners. Even the terminology - a diamond?

There are people in here panicking about their jobs and income and you're trying to give money away to someone who doesn't want. Just burn your fivers if you don't need them.

Keep the offer open. I like the retainer idea.

But if she wont accept payment (her decision) then do your bit by diverting the money somewhere else. Many charities are going to suffer, unable to carry out their usual fundraising activities. Pick one and send them the money.

I'm having the same argument with my cleaner at the moment. If she won't come and collect the money to cover the next month then I will give it to her when she next comes to clean. Either way I know she can't afford not to have that money so I'm going to insist.

No idea what your problem is Noeuf are you jealous? I'm disabled and would be lost without her, she's been with me for fifteen years and is more friend than cleaner and I know she cannot afford being without this money. So you can fuck off with your lady bountiful - I'm just trying to ensure someone who I like and value doesn't suffer hardship. Obviously an alien concept to you.

"Letsallscreamatthesistene

Give her a hamper of toilet rolls and pasta?!"
Bloody hell let's not go overboard here, op isn't made of loo roll and pasta
:o

I have the same issue. Asked for bank details as usually pay cash but she won’t send. I’ll leave the cash when she returns, if she doesn’t take it then that’s that.

Do you know where she lives? Could you pop some money in an envelope through her door?

If not, a food hampers is a brilliant idea.

A well-paid "extra deep clean" session when this is all over, pay rise when she starts back up and a big Christmas bonus!

@Pentium85, if I was in this situation id be really annoyed/insulted someone had chosen to ignore me and force cash on me anyway, totally ignoring what I said.

I like the idea of a retainer, or asking for a deep clean once all this has died down.

Ignore the horrible bastards on here. Let's let them off and put it down to COVID anxiety! I agree about maybe giving her raise when she's back to make the money up. I think that's what you were after, advice not judgement. God I hate people sometimes

OP, you have offered the money and she has turned it down. Just accept her decision with good grace.

Please don't try to impose your will on her. That could make her feel like she is lesser and you are more. I would feel more inclined to not want to work for you in the future if you insisted on imposing your will on me.

@Letsallscreamatthesistene

That’s your opinion, I think it’s a thoughtful gesture and would appreciate it.

@Pentium85 I agree. I think some posters on AIBU just want to paint OPs in the worst possible light. This OP genuinely feels uncomfortable about not paying her cleaner when she herself is being paid. I can understand why.

But I think the best suggestion on here is to pay her to do a really deep clean when she comes back, and I'd go with that.

I’ve contacted our cleaner to say we are in SI and will pay a retainer

I've tried the same with our dog walker, I'm home working so don't need her service. Thankfully she gave in eventually and we've agreed to pay her until this hopefully all blows over!

This OP genuinely feels uncomfortable about not paying her cleaner when she herself is being paid.
The cleaner may feel deeply uncomfortable though for being paid when she hasn't done her job.
I can understand that.

You could perhaps offer her halved wages as a compromise ?

@Pentium85 yes, its an opinion forum. Its literally the point of the entire website.

No need to shut me down quite so much.

@Noeuf no danger of anybody telling you how nice you are is there?!

Just make it up to her in other ways OP, when things are back to normal.

I'm a dog walker rather than a cleaner. At the moment I am still walking all of my dogs even though a couple of owners are now working from home. They are still being paid so have asked me to carry on as normal.

I honestly don't know what I would say as regards pay if a client asked me not to come for a month. If only one client cancelled I would be ok. I would also feel guilty being paid if I hadn't done the work so I would probably say not to pay. We don't know how things are going to progress though and if I ended up with half of my clients cancelling until further notice then I would obviously really struggle.

You may be her only client who has cancelled so far. If you have offered but she has refused then I don't think you can keep offering. I like the idea of a retainer fee, she may accept that. You could always say to her to let you know if she wishes to change the arrangement at a later date?

Believe it or not, some of us do genuinely care about being fair, and I can understand that the OP would feel bad about not paying her cleaner when she herself is being paid. It's more of a WWYD question, IMO.

I have a cleaner, who normally comes every other week for one morning. In the past, when I've had to cancel for whatever reason, I've always given her an extra morning to replace it. Now we're self-isolating, that would ordinarily mean that I had to do that again, or pay her if it was for a longer period (I don't know what her response would be, as a JW they might have their own rules), but she had gone back to Poland to marry her fiancé and they haven't been able to get back because of flights to the UK being suspended because of COVID-19.

These are difficult times, I don't think it's at all kind to make sneering comments like 'Lady Bountiful'.

You could always say to her to let you know if she wishes to change the arrangement at a later date?

This is good advice, as otherwise she might not feel comfortable to do so if her circumstances change and more clients have to cancel.

Silvery 'am I jealous?' God this place is predictable sometimes. Why not ask me if I'm on glue / meant to be so rude etc.
Sorry if I'm eye rolling at this.

Ffs find someone to give the money to if you really don’t need it . She told you she’s doesn’t want it, she isn’t a charity case because she is a cleaner.