Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

DD potential last day at nursery. Am I wrong here?

32 replies

Miniwinnie · 20/03/2020 06:59

Well it only just dawned on me last night that today could be dd’s last day of nursery. This is where I have taken her almost every day for the past 4 years. I’m devastated that this could be her last day with her friends. I haven’t spoken to her about this yet.

DP previously arranged for his parents to collect her today. This was before closures were announced. I have explained to him that I would like to pick her up with it looking like it is her last day.

He is going off on one as he has already arranged with his parents. I told him that I will let them know. He says they will be disappointed. Well I will also be disappointed if I don’t get to pick her up for the last time. I wish he would just understand how I feel about this but when I try to explain he just shuts me down.

Sorry, I realise this is trivial with everything that is going on but this is my little girls last day at nursery. She will be missing out on the build up to leaving for starting school.

So I just wondered who is being unreasonable here?

OP posts:

ToManderleyAgain · 20/03/2020 07:01

Better for his parents to avoid nursery and maintain social distance anyway I would think?

plunkplunkfizz · 20/03/2020 07:01

There really are bigger things to worry about at the moment. It’s just nursery.

1AngelicFruitCake · 20/03/2020 07:02

I think you should pick her up and it might not be a good idea for his parents to do it I’d they’re 70 or over x

MindyStClaire · 20/03/2020 07:02

YANBU. It was supposed to be a normal pickup, now it's a milestone one. Her parents get first dibs on those.

Also, kids shouldn't be seeing grandparents at the minute anyway, so switch the meet up to WhatsApp or Skype.

ChazP · 20/03/2020 07:25

YANBU. Pick her up. Cherish the moment.
Ignore the people saying it’s not a big deal.
My daughter is yr 6. Today could be her last day at primary school so I totally get how you feel.

FAQs · 20/03/2020 07:28

YANBU

CheshireDing · 20/03/2020 07:29

Presumably her grandparents are if the age which puts them in the high risk group , so they should not be near her anyway.

Pick her up yourself as yes it may be her last day, tbh if it’s anything like our nursery earlier this week we had to wait in the porch anyway for the children to be brought out to us

NewYearNewJob123 · 20/03/2020 07:33

Why do people keep assuming GPs will be over 70? There are loads in their 40s, 50s and 60s.

MordredsOrrery · 20/03/2020 07:34

I'm afraid I think YABU. We had no warning of our preschool closure - just an email on Monday night saying we have to close indefinitely. It has not once occurred to me to think about who did pick up and drop off on what's now their last day, but I guess I don't think of it as a milestone.

If you normally drop her off and they normally pick her up I'd stick with that and not make a big thing of it, my thought being stability of routine is more important now than making a fuss about things. You can always call dibs for drop off and pick up the first day at primary when this is all over

Rosebel · 20/03/2020 07:43

Last day of nursery is special. I'm sure her grandparents would understand. If they are not at risk they can come round and see her and if they are then they shouldn't be picking her up anyway.

MindyStClaire · 20/03/2020 07:44

NewYearNewJob123 yes of course, the grandparents may be no higher risk than the parents if they're young. But it's still non essential social contact, which none of us should be doing regardless of age or conditions.

PlugholePencil · 20/03/2020 07:45

I think YABU. You can’t just cancel people because you’ve suddenly realised. It’s messing them around. You're lucky to have parents/in laws who will help you.

zafferana · 20/03/2020 07:46

In all honesty OP I think this will be more distressing for you than for your DD. She has no idea about the momentousness of any of the stuff that is happening at the moment and, as a mum of two older DC, I can promise you that in a few years' time she'll barely remember nursery anyway! But do go and pick her up today yourself. Keep your ILs away from nursery and allow yourself to mentally mark this moment, because it quite possibly will be her final day. We just don't know at the moment, but I heard on R4 this morning that experts predict this virus will peak in late May/early June. That's about six weeks before schools finish for the summer. But try not to worry. YOU can prepare her for school at home.

NewIdeasToday · 20/03/2020 07:47

It just doesn’t matter who collects her. Keep things normal and avoid offending family members who will all be feeling vulnerable at the moment.

TwilightPeace · 20/03/2020 07:49

But it's still non essential social contact, which none of us should be doing regardless of age or conditions.

This! So what if they are ‘disappointed’? Health comes first and flattening the curve is more important!

Cremebrule · 20/03/2020 07:51

I know it is trivial but I was really sad after my child’s last day yesterday. Yes it isn’t as significant as those meant to be taking exams and obviously it pales into significance compared to those likely to die but some of this stuff is important to our little ones. I realised I need to cushion mine more. Last night, she wet the bed for the first time in ages and couldn’t sleep because she was sad. It’s hard to explain to a 3/4 year old why their whole world has suddenly changed and they can’t see their friends or go to the nurseries they love.

Cheerbear23 · 20/03/2020 07:53

I’m the same, although my dd is y6. It’s her last day so I want to get her like op said. It’s a milestone.

Frozenfan2019 · 20/03/2020 07:54

You are right. They should let you do it! It shouldn't even be an issue.

GinDrinker00 · 20/03/2020 07:55

YANBU. Those saying over 70s should stay away... it’s effecting ALL ages. Your the mum though, you should be the one to pick them up.

itwasalovelydreamwhileitlasted · 20/03/2020 07:59

YABU

She's 4 and it's a nursery she won't remember this (unlike the 16 and 18 year olds) if you can't act like a calm adult during these times then what are you teaching your child about resilience and dealing with what really is a very small disappointment

NewYearNewJob123 · 20/03/2020 08:10

The OPs issue wasn't around unecessary social contact, she wasn't bothered about that and thats not why she now doesn't want GPs to collect.

She changed her mind because she now thinks of todays pick up as a special one.

NotStayingIn · 20/03/2020 08:17

If it means a lot to you then of course you should do it, she’s your child!

Apologise to the grandparents and tell them straight away. It’s a shame for them but it’s not as bad as your DH seems to think. Sure they might be disappointed but this is your last moment doing this with your own child.

Neverender · 20/03/2020 09:02

I've told DD that we are having a brilliant holiday....at home! They reflect your feelings and emotions so I'm staying positive. Her dad will be picking her up today too.

pinkyredrose · 20/03/2020 09:16

Can you and the Pil both go?

runrabbitrunrunrun · 20/03/2020 09:24

Yanbu! Pick her up!

Flip

1 2