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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at friend moaning about work when I have no job

43 replies

Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 22:53

I will try and keep this short and sweet.
Im 25, im no longer needed in my workplace - a restaurant but business has been bad with this virus. i now have no job and i've applied to supermarkets but so far no luck. Quite panciked about what the future entails, might have to claim benefits.

Friend is a teacher and is obviously getting her pay. Same age as me, no kids, lives with her boyfriend. She is moaning she will have to go in and look after the kids of key workers because she has so much work to do marking and setting work. But in my opinion, you wouldve been marking and setting work if you were still in school so i dont see the difference in having to go in and look after kids.
We all have to pull together. Parents will be basically teaching their kids for the next few weeks/months, even those still working.
I just find it hard to bear when im worried about money and finding work but she is so lucky to have a job!! So many people have already been made redundant.
I'd happily listen to her problems but i'm finding it hard to give her advice and have sympathy when i'd jump at the chance to do that.

OP posts:
Needbettername · 19/03/2020 22:57

Yup it's tough espc since she is moaning that she still has to do her job.

Good luck finding something else.

NurseButtercup · 19/03/2020 22:59

Just say to her "at least you have a job"..

Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 22:59

She claims the government is now giving her 2 jobs - 1st job is marking and setting work, and 2nd job is babysitting. She doesnt understand why they just cant get the supply to do it

OP posts:
Leeds2 · 19/03/2020 23:00

If it's of any use to you, Iceland, Aldi and Tesco have all put out statements today saying that they are looking to recruit people for immediate start.

Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 23:01

Thank you! I am applying for Tesco tomorrow, but I was exhausted tonight, feeling really low and cried a lot to my boyfriend (silly i know Blush),
Iceland and Asda arent hiring near me yet but i will keep a look out!

OP posts:
Wetdogloveshubert · 19/03/2020 23:01

It's insensitive of her, but she will also be stressed. Babysitting multi age group classes is not what she trained for, and it still puts her in close proximity with potential carriers of the virus. It's not easy on teachers, despite the continued pay, so please have some sympathy.

Wetdogloveshubert · 19/03/2020 23:03

It's not silly to cry. Right now is an incredibly stressful time and it's overwhelming, especially if you have no job / are at risk. I'm sorry it's hard for you right now. Good luck in your search.

Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 23:04

I luckily still live with parents so i dont need to pay rent/bills right now.
I have some money saved thankfully! But still need work

OP posts:
Pentium85 · 19/03/2020 23:04

I absolutely get where you’re coming from, but my husband is a teacher and he is stressed. He now has to be one of the workers who has to expose himself to potentially ill children who are spreading the virus, and he is worried he might catch it and bring it home.
Yes it’s great he is getting paid, but there are downsides/positives to all situations

Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 23:06

I was making such good money so this is a massive blow! The restaurant was absolutely lovely and i loved working there!
I know there's so many more redudancies or laid of people or zero hour contracters out there, and not forgetting the self-employed who are struggling,
I'm sure we will all pull through these hard times

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 23:07

I get that it's a stressful situation but it's a stressful situation for everyone, especially doctors and nurses! And supermarket staff too

OP posts:
Original poster
Pinsto111 · 19/03/2020 23:09

I just havent got the words to give meaningful advice to her when i feel myself sinking into a depression over work

OP posts:
ilovesooty · 19/03/2020 23:09

Her stress is her stress and your stress is yours so I think YABU. Hope you find another job soon.

JaneTheVirgin · 19/03/2020 23:18

It is also stressful to be one of the people who is simultaneously deemed too important to be off of work and also not important enough to care if we get the virus and spread it to our own vulnerable families and children. As frontline NHS I am sure I will contract the virus but I can't do anything about it.

Life isn't easy for anyone right now. I'm sorry about your job. At the same time though someone could be annoyed that you're complaining about your job when you don't have rent or bills to pay and they could worry about losing their house. It's all relative and I think we have to have compassion for everyone.

notdaddycool · 19/03/2020 23:28

I'd be very tempted to drop your CV off at local stores before the adverts come out, there will be less competition and you can always apply anyway once there are jobs advertised.

Josette77 · 20/03/2020 02:42

But everyone has their struggles. It's a huge change for teachers. You don't pay bills or rent. It seems like you have a lot to be grateful for as well.

AlwaysCheddar · 20/03/2020 04:13

Your friend is a tosser. Remind her of what nurses are going to be dealing with .....

Pentium85 · 20/03/2020 11:26

@AlwaysCheddar

No, her friend is not a tosser.

Everyone has their own issues and stresses to deal with, and everyone’s stresses are valid.

bushhbb · 20/03/2020 11:33

*No, her friend is not a tosser.

Everyone has their own issues and stresses to deal with, and everyone’s stresses are valid.*

Her friend is absolutely a tosser. She can moan all she likes, but not to someone who's just lost their job! That would piss anyone off

Feel so bad for everyone struggling, can't imagine what's going to happen in the next few months

Marieo · 20/03/2020 11:34

I can see why she feels that way, but it is insensitive of her to be moaning to you about it.

HowManyToes · 20/03/2020 11:37

Oh look, another teacher bashing thread 🙄 seriously, teachers are having to deal with children’s worries and anxieties during this horrible time, we’re all worried about our pupils health, their progress, the vulnerable ones who won’t be looked after properly if school is closed for months on end. The government are expecting us (rightly!) to continue helping pupils via distance learning while also providing daycare for certain groups of children. I could go on...

Your friend will be massively stressed out, every teacher I know is frantic atm. Yes, nurses and doctors are working their arses off, we are all wholeheartedly grateful for them. Yes, it’s a shame you lost your job - lots of other people have and it’s awful. But just because you’re in a bad situation doesn’t mean her stress isn’t valid.

There’s a global pandemic happening. EVERYONE is stressed. You’re in a much better situation than many people. YABU

contentedsoul · 20/03/2020 11:38

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Pentium85 · 20/03/2020 11:49

@contentedsoul

If it bothers you that much, change your job.

cardibach · 20/03/2020 11:51

contentedsoul you sound really unpleasant, criticising the very people you need to keep everything going right now - NHS, teachers, council services like refuse collection... Mind you, the almost as bad as boomers gives you away as pretty prejudiced and unthinking.
Public sector workers are far from ‘pampered’ as they are trying to run more and more services with less and less investment. I wonder where you got this idea? I doubt it’s through personal experience. And ridiculous stability throughout retirement shows your true colours - everyone should be destitute the minute they aren’t useful to the money making state, right? Public sector pensions aren’t as great as you think, but you should want to level up, not down anyway!
When you say public sector employees are ‘off work’ do you mean ‘working from home’? Because that’s government advice. However, the bulk of public sector workers - nurses, teachers, social workers, refuse collectors, etc can’t work from home so are in, while office workers in the private sector are often being told (rightly) to work from home.
FYI your username does not seem very appropriate...

needsahouseboy · 20/03/2020 11:51

I am with you. She would be working anyway so what's the difference. She is getting paid, she will still have a job. I'm a nurse so my job is secure and I would get paid if sick I'm incredibly lucky and would not even consider moaning right now.
If you are fit and well I would call the local hospitals HR department, most hospitals will be fast tracking bank applications and your help would be very much needed. Probably less abuse than working in a shop right now too!