To be annoyed at friend moaning about work when I have no job

[Pinsto111]

I will try and keep this short and sweet.
Im 25, im no longer needed in my workplace - a restaurant but business has been bad with this virus. i now have no job and i've applied to supermarkets but so far no luck. Quite panciked about what the future entails, might have to claim benefits.

Friend is a teacher and is obviously getting her pay. Same age as me, no kids, lives with her boyfriend. She is moaning she will have to go in and look after the kids of key workers because she has so much work to do marking and setting work. But in my opinion, you wouldve been marking and setting work if you were still in school so i dont see the difference in having to go in and look after kids.
We all have to pull together. Parents will be basically teaching their kids for the next few weeks/months, even those still working.
I just find it hard to bear when im worried about money and finding work but she is so lucky to have a job!! So many people have already been made redundant.
I'd happily listen to her problems but i'm finding it hard to give her advice and have sympathy when i'd jump at the chance to do that.

Contentedsoul I'm public sector and not off. If conditions are so wonder in the public sector why on earth don't you join us? I'm sure there's many subjects they need teacher in...

I luckily still live with parents so i dont need to pay rent/bills right now.
I have some money saved thankfully!

You're in a MUCH better position than millions of people. IMO your teacher has a lot more to complain about than you.

*bushhbb

No, her friend is not a tosser.

Everyone has their own issues and stresses to deal with, and everyone’s stresses are valid.

Her friend is absolutely a tosser. She can moan all she likes, but not to someone who's just lost their job! That would piss anyone off

Feel so bad for everyone struggling, can't imagine what's going to happen in the next few months

By that reasoning, the op can't complain because there are people with mortgages and kids that have been made redundant, while she doesn't have rent or bills to pay, and no dependants.

I personally don't see what she's got to complain about tbh. So she's lost her spends. Others will lose their livelihoods and houses.

Lol, @Pentium85, people with attitudes like @contentedsoul's would find it hard to get a job in an awful lot of public sector roles. Judgey attitudes are a bit of a no-no when you're required to treat people with scrupulousn fairness.

You realise that there are people posting here who have mortgages or rent that they're not going to be able to pay? And that THEY might be thinking that YOU'RE being insensitive, moaning when you have savings and no living costs?

As someone further up said, we all have our different problems, and our stresses are real. But we probably all have it better than some people.

@contentedsoul what a repulsive post.

My DHs friend was in a bit of a tizz when the school closures were announced because his colleagues were going on about what to do with their kids and telling him “at least you don’t have kids to worry about”.
He and his wife have had fertility issues and multiple pregnancy losses. “At least you don’t have kids” didn’t go down too well.
The lesson is that you don’t know what other people are struggling with so don’t assume everything’s peachy for them and shit for you. The chances are there are things you don’t know.
And also I find it better to assume most people don’t actually mean any harm, they just want a moan about THEIR current predicament.

She's just as likely finding it difficult to be sympathetic towards somebody who has no worries about keeping a roof over her head or feeding herself, so you're probably evens right now.

If it makes you feel any better, everything takes about 300 times longer when you're trying to do it via remote access - and it's not just the standard cover work wordsearches that have to be prepared, it's full on work tailored in a way that it will work from a distance, where you can't just answer a quick question or show somebody how to do it, remote lessons with connections dropping, kids getting distracted by the rest of the internet, siblings, parents, pets and the outside world, so probably missing lots and wanting repeated explanations - and on top of that, it's looking after the most vulnerable and challenging of kids in school, possibly new kids, and no ability to hole up in a bedroom and avoid possible infection.

So she won't be having the best of times right now.

Get your benefits claim in today, too. If you then get a job, great, but at least submit the claim.

There is always someone worse off than you. Your friend is a qualified professional who will be working in a high risk situation with DC.
Would you be happier if your friend lost her job too. I think you have to look on the bright side, you're young, you're rent free at the minute. People everywhere including me have lost their jobs, tbf I'd prefer to be poor than over exposed for the next month.

"I just find it hard to bear when I'm worried about money, finding the rent and feeding my children but she is so lucky to be living with her parents and having no responsibilities"

...is what other people who have also been made redundant will be thinking when they read your post @Pinsto111

Everybody is on their own journey. You can't look at someone else's and judge.

I luckily still live with parents so i dont need to pay rent/bills right now.
I have some money saved thankfully! But still need work

See some could say, what you complaining about when you don't have bills to pay and that you're in a more privilaged position than someone who is being forced to work.

Everyone has their own stresses.

just rise above it

OP, the govt announced it would pay 80% of wages yesterday for workers who are no longer needed but are kept on the books. Could you get back in touch with your employer to discuss if this is a possibility?

I'm sorry about your job.

This week has been awful for teachers and school staff. It really has. Try to have some sympathy with her too. Pay is not more important than life and health and she will be putting hers at risk by continuing to work. I know lots of people are doing the same from many different work sectors but it doesn't stop people being scared - really scared.

What are you moaning about? You don't pay bills, you've got savings and no responsibility. You're in a pretty fucking great position to be honest. You don't have to worry about losing your home, or not being able to cover immediate bills. I feel more sorry for your friend. She's probably stressed out of her head.

I think other posters have put it well.
There is always someone worse off than you. You are 'moaning' about not having a job, but you have things going for you. To someone who might lose their home due to CV then you are being really insensitive. To someone who has never been able to have a job due to (say) health issues, then anyone ever complained about having a shitty job is deeply unreasonable and insensitive.

At best, you could gently point out to her that at this time it's hard to hear her complain because of the stresses you are going through and just to keep that in mind. But she's not complaining AT you so I'd just let it go.

I'm glad you havent got any bills to pay and have got savings. I'm glad you're not at risk of losing your home too.

I don't think you are very kind to your friend. We don't get to tell others how to feel or how to speak around you. Shit happens.