Fallen out with neighbours

[Pooshweens]

Not sure how to handle this situation with our next door neighbours

Until now, we have been good friend with them since they moved in a couple of years ago. We've had bbqs, drinks, play dates with them etc and they seemed lovely

They do like to party and often wake me up at night with noise, to which I rarely say anything (unless it wakes the baby for
Example)

On Sunday morning, I found a wine glass had been chucked into our garden. My 2 year old almost stepped on the glass bare foot until I clocked it, and it was a pain to clear up as it had shattered everywhere. We have 2 small kids so this annoyed me thinking they could have walked on it. I also cut my hand clearing it up

Having found the glass, I sent them a message saying what they had happened and could they have a word with their guests (I knew they'd had people over from the noise, and could also see a smashed glass on their patio)

They didn't apologise but instead left the chat. My DH then saw them yesterday and they basically said they were fed up of me complaining to them about the noise at night. I felt this was uncalled for when he told me, and having checked all of our chats, I have asked them very nicely if they can keep the noise down, two times since nov 2018

They also denied any of their guests doing it, but our other neighbours are 80 year olds so I don't think it's them!

So their reaction seems harsh to me. AIBU? I then sent her a nice message, to ask about all these supposed messages, and she just said she didn't want to argue and hoped we could move on from this. Isn't that a bit extreme? As I wasn't arguing, just trying to straighten it out

Sorry, this is a bit of a storm in a tea cup and long winded to explain but I feel a bit put out!

@Bling

Years ago a friend of mine was planning of buying a very expensive apartment in Marbella, overlooking the sea.

It was absolutely magnificent and was to be a family bolthole in the sun.

She and her husband are non smokers.

They were doing a final viewing having negotiated a price, when she went out on the balcony and someone flicked a butt from upstairs.

The person apologised etc. but my friend was so horrified....had a lightbulb moment and withdrew her interest.

She said afterwards, she was so grateful to that person as it would have driven her absolutely mad.

Yet it was not something that would have ever occurred to her would be an issue.

@billy1966 Your friend made a good decision. On a normal day, no one would have done that at ours but it was a big party, everyone was drunk etc. I still find myself blushing when I remember it. It did sort of ruin the party for me as I spent my time patrolling the edges of the balcony and shoving ashtrays at people!!!

Luckily our neighbours knew we weren't usually like this and totally accepted our apology. But still....

I suspect they're fully aware of your overall disapproval of their parties and noise. It came through loud and clear in your OP and I suspect that there have been other comments.

She didn't sound particularly disapproving to me, what in her post made you feel that?

I suspect they're fully aware of your overall disapproval of their parties and noise. It came through loud and clear in your OP and I suspect that there have been other comments.

This is my thinking, which is why I asked exactly what your text message said.

They sound pretty unsociable, I feel for you, but unfortunately a lot of neighbourly relations can be a case of maintaining goodwill when the other person is in the wrong.

Message back,

sorry who said anything about any noise? This is about either you or one pf your guests vandalising my property by throwing a glass into my garden.

@GreenWheat exactly, you have hit the nail on the head

@HavenDilemma perfect response, l would copy / paste that and send it over

Another party?! Don’t they have work / jobs / other commitments / awareness of Coronavirus?!

Arseholes. You're not complaining about noise this time though are you - its about a dangerous object in your garden that could have potentially hurt your child.

Next party go outside and cough a lot

Judy they actually had a party last night would you believe!

They'd fully deserve it if they all gave each other coronavirus.

Don't take in any post for them. Don't go out of your way for them. You are far too tired due to not being able to sleep because of their noise to notice a mad axe man running amok in their house/ a burglar helping themselves etc etc

Thank you for your support everyone, good to hear all of your opinions! I was genuinely upset about it last night as felt they were being unfair to pin it on me, but having read all of your comments, I'm over it!

Some people are just hugely selfish. Can you get some cheap trellis on top of whatever fence you have already so it's harder for drunk guests to sling stuff over? (apols if it's already high, but trying to think practically). And tip any glass straight back over.

God, they sound like my old neighbours 😖😣

Neighbours are strange people

When very friendly say things like ‘if anything we or our kids do upsets you please let us know’

Therefore you take them to their word and they don’t like it so suddenly you aren’t friendly any longer.

Happens all over sadly

Better to speak personally (you don't have to get close!), than do it on snapchat or whatever. Had you done that they would probably have just apologised.

They'll get over it - and you were in the right.

Our old neighbours had sons on early 20's. They would throw their fag but over our fence mine say they burnt a hole on our buggy. Thankfully our DD wasn't asleep in at the time. I went mental!!!

Sound a bit like our neighbours, stand your ground to an extent, then be painfully polite but distant.
Dont take in parcels for them, dont go out of your way to do anything for them. Our neighbours repeatedly left their keys in the front door and went out dropped bank cards, left car doors open over night. We were always so nice but they were always quite rude, one day they even accused me of stealing their credit card when it was just laying outside the house. I picked it up, knocked their door, they answered the door with a huffy YES! I handed them their credit card (this was the 3rd or 4th time I'd done so in a year!)
Got the fifth degree, why did I have it, what was I doing? They'd be checking to see if I'd used it.

At that point I walked away, embarrassed that they could think so badly of me. I'd only ever been neighbourly.

I stopped telling them when their keys were left in their car door or their front door. I stopped returning their lost cards.
About 4 months later I saw their door a jar as I left the house. I reasoned it was none of my business, except I saw her walking to town. He must be home I thought. He turned up at our house in the evening. Someone had broken into their house apparently. Maybe if they weren't such obnoxious arseholes, id have stuck my nose in and it may not have happened.
About 6 months ago someone emptied the contents out of their car too.

My point is just, if people cant be neighbourly it often comes back to haunt them, because other people get fucked off with repeatedly taking the moral high ground.
Leave them to it. They dont sound nice at all.

I suggest that every time they have a noisy party that you get up really early and you and your kids have a little party of your own, around 6.30 am should do. i few dawn awakenings to full blast 'The Wheels on the Bus' should bring them a little perspective.

@nicaisle. Great idea!
Another delightful children's song is JOHN JACOB JINGLEHEIMER SCHMIDT. the DC really get into it and progressively get louder and louder whilst all in your family are having just a bit of fun during isolation
🗣🗣🗣🕡🌞🌞🎶🎶🎶🎶🎶🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤
Wish I could be there for all the fun! Isn't someone in your family having a birthday and have requested a karaoke machine?

@Pooshweens
If any more glasses are chucked over the fence and shatter, please take a photo, carefully gather the pieces and go over to party people at 6:30 a.m. and say, " Uh, I think this might be one of yours as I saw a match to it on your patio" or whatever seems appropriate

@SchadenfreudePersonified Brilliant 😁😂🏆