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AIBU?

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Original poster

Fallen out with neighbours

71 replies

Pooshweens · 18/03/2020 06:32

Not sure how to handle this situation with our next door neighbours

Until now, we have been good friend with them since they moved in a couple of years ago. We've had bbqs, drinks, play dates with them etc and they seemed lovely

They do like to party and often wake me up at night with noise, to which I rarely say anything (unless it wakes the baby for
Example)

On Sunday morning, I found a wine glass had been chucked into our garden. My 2 year old almost stepped on the glass bare foot until I clocked it, and it was a pain to clear up as it had shattered everywhere. We have 2 small kids so this annoyed me thinking they could have walked on it. I also cut my hand clearing it up

Having found the glass, I sent them a message saying what they had happened and could they have a word with their guests (I knew they'd had people over from the noise, and could also see a smashed glass on their patio)

They didn't apologise but instead left the chat. My DH then saw them yesterday and they basically said they were fed up of me complaining to them about the noise at night. I felt this was uncalled for when he told me, and having checked all of our chats, I have asked them very nicely if they can keep the noise down, two times since nov 2018

They also denied any of their guests doing it, but our other neighbours are 80 year olds so I don't think it's them!

So their reaction seems harsh to me. AIBU? I then sent her a nice message, to ask about all these supposed messages, and she just said she didn't want to argue and hoped we could move on from this. Isn't that a bit extreme? As I wasn't arguing, just trying to straighten it out

Sorry, this is a bit of a storm in a tea cup and long winded to explain but I feel a bit put out!

OP posts:
AmelieTaylor · 18/03/2020 08:25

They’re definitely in the wrong. I hope the partying stops, for corona virus reasons, but as a benefit to you also. Try to keep the peace for now, things are going to get tough, you don’t want to be arguing with neighbours.

The guests chucking glass about is completely out of order too. I'd get the police to have a word if that happens again

For the love of little fish. The police have FAR bigger concerns than a party guest lobbing a glass over a fence. Have a word with yourself!

opticaldelusion · 18/03/2020 08:26

On the plus side, their lack of social distancing means they've probably caught COVID-19.

PlugholePencil · 18/03/2020 08:31

Yay a non CV thread!
YANBU OP but I would advise you to be careful because you don’t want this turning into a war.
I wouldn’t message but maybe next time you see them have a chat. There is very little you can do about the glass in the garden. More so if they deny any knowledge. Perhaps start to keep a log in case you need to refer back to it at some point.

Theresnobslikeshowb · 18/03/2020 08:32

They fall into the ‘can’t say sorry and can’t say we were wrong category’. I hate people like that. A simple ‘I’m really sorry, I wasn’t aware that happened’ would be all it takes.

Glad you spotted it before your dc stepped on it, or that could have been really bad. But for the grace of god as they say.

Mlou32 · 18/03/2020 08:36

Just start calling 101 everytime they start their parties and loud music at unreasonable hours. Leave them to it. They sound pretty scummy to be honest and a pp got it right when they said that people like this are responsible for broken Britain.

Citybear · 18/03/2020 09:04

Obviously it would depend on the garden in question and some will be unsuitable but I find it a little sad that a child couldn’t play barefoot in their own garden.

Frenchw1fe · 18/03/2020 09:04

If a guest of mine caused broken glass to be in my neighbour’s garden I’d be mortified and sending flowers and chocolates by way of apology.

Just send this thread to them and tell them we all think they’re arseholes.

Citybear · 18/03/2020 09:05

Sorry, that was in response to Havendilemma.

Windyatthebeach · 18/03/2020 09:06

Line toilet rolls up at the windows. Very PA in this current climate...
Grin
Least if the shortage continues you won't have to play the sharing /caring ndn.

BlackCatSleeping · 18/03/2020 09:11

They sound like the sort of twats who can never be wrong. I wouldn’t reply to their message. Just leave it for now. I’d definitely consider getting CCTV with sound to cover your garden in case it escalates.

Piglet89 · 18/03/2020 09:13

People are so determined to get on with their neighbours. But when they’re unreasonable dickheads it becomes impossible.

We don’t get on with our neighbours and it’s not the end of the world: we just don’t speak. No biggie.

nannybeach · 18/03/2020 09:14

Have had my fill of selfish neighbours, out last ones were very professional people in their 50s nod kids, they used to have parties on a Sunday night DD couldnt sleep, New Years Eve was the worst, went on till 5am, DH managed to sleep through them, I got crafty volunteered to work the night shift at work (busy general Hospital) double pay and out of the situation. I did very politely mention the noise level once, he loooked agast, and said well, we WERE invited, but they all got rip roaring drunk, DH doesnt drink at all, and I certainly dont get drunk. When we movd I insitd we were detatched, unfortunately it doesnt make any different, (unless you live in the miiddle of a field, which we dont)These people always deny their guests damanged your property.

bubblesforlife · 18/03/2020 09:15

It almost feels like the world has more people like your twatish neighbours than decent people.
You've nothing to be sorry about, hold your head high.

WhatHappenedThen · 18/03/2020 09:20

You already know YANBU (I hope!).

YANBU and your neighbours are obnoxious. I’d probably just leave it for now but I would be annoyed.

LikeDuhWhatever · 18/03/2020 09:22

Why don’t you just do the same to them? Chuck a wineglass onto their patio and see how they react. Blare some loud music at night when they seem to be quiet and see if they like it.

BlackCatSleeping · 18/03/2020 09:27

Why don’t you just do the same to them? Chuck a wineglass onto their patio and see how they react. Blare some loud music at night when they seem to be quiet and see if they like it.

Because people like this are think-skinned. They don't see the harm they cause others, but are quick to see the harm that others cause them.

It's best just to distance yourself from them.

TabbyMumz · 18/03/2020 09:43

"Shocked you'd let your child walk around outside barefooted?? What about cat poo or stones?"
Shocked by this. Of course young children should be able to walk outside on grass barefoot. Although it is a bit cold and wet at the moment, we have had a few nice sunny days.

HoffiCoffi13 · 18/03/2020 10:01

Shocked you'd let your child walk around outside barefooted?? What about cat poo or stones?

Confused mine rarely wear shoes in the garden if it’s warm. What’s standing on a stone going to do apart from make them more careful of standing on stones in the future?

OP they’re idiots. I’d leave it for now, but just maintain my distance.

Pumpkinpie1 · 18/03/2020 10:20

They live next door to you, they aren’t friends
Keep a log in your diary & report them to your local council, they have no conscience or consideration for you & your family.
Their loss

Ponoka7 · 18/03/2020 10:25

Don't involve the Police. Environmental health are the people who deal with this.
They are probably getting complaints from the other sides, as well.

Ponoka7 · 18/03/2020 10:28

LikeDuhWhatever, because then it becomes tit for tat and the OP has a two year old.

Most of the 'nightmare neighbours next door' senarios start because of tit for tat and people being knobheads.

Also, the OP will then be disturbing other neighbours, so were does it end?

Troubledmummy3 · 18/03/2020 10:28

No they are unbelievably selfish!! I'd be fuming!!!! How dare they think it's ok to behave in that way?! We have friends whose neighbours do the same...it's really selfish!

BlingLoving · 18/03/2020 10:37

I suspect they're fully aware of your overall disapproval of their parties and noise. It came through loud and clear in your OP and I suspect that there have been other comments.

Having said that, the glass in your garden is absolutely 100% unacceptable and they should be mortified and apologetic. I lived in an apartment with a huge balcony once that was sort of a tiered townhouse type thing. We were the top floor so our balcony overlooked the balcony below (or parts of it). we held a party once and I had put ashtrays EVERYWHERE but people STILL kept flicking them over the balcony. I was mortified. My flatmate and I went down the next morning and asked if we could please do the cleanup and I think we bought flowers. we were so cross.

DruryLanePenance · 18/03/2020 10:42

They are awful people and other posters are right - there is no reasoning. Two options - 1) complaint for anti social behaviour (they are banking on being intimidating and unpleasant at this stage so that you back out of taking any action - therefore helpless) or 2) move. Get angry and get it sorted. They'll get worse in the summer.

Shoxfordian · 18/03/2020 10:46

They're being defensive because they know they're wrong, look at your council's noise policy so you know how to report next time

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