... to think that ALL teenage boys (and some girls) are watching porn?

[MargieMo]

This is a topic that has come up a few times with DS as he has grown up (now 17 almost 18). I've also had similar discussion with other mums, and it's the similar situation.

AIBU to think the all teenage boys watch porn?

I don't know about girls, it was not available when I was a teenager

Most of the 15yr olds my relative teaches know what Pornhub is, male & female. You're naive if you think they don't. It's the 'sex sells', pornification of our culture. It's their 'normal'.

I asked my teenage DS, he says your question is quite judgemental and that he doesn't think pornography is a good idea because it's bad for society. So no, I doubt he looks at it.

As we used to say, We are the people our parents warned us about.

The problem goes way beyond the primary consumption of online porn. The form has become so pervasive in our culture that it informs so many other areas of life, from pop videos to fashion. It has normalised the idea of felatio and so rates of HPV have gone through the roof.

And with a phone in every adolescent hand, they become not just consumers but producers in the amateur category. The social pressure on girls to send such snaps is growing, and the dickpics are increasingly difficult for them to avoid.

Loads of interesting items in this study www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2739403/ which compares male and female responses - both physiological and self-reported - to porn created for (and by) male and female preferences. Take a skim, there's loads of things that were surprising to me at least.

@Buster72

From what I can see of my son's scout pack, which are primarily girls, and the fact that most of the places they go have poor reception, no I don't think they spend their time looking at porn.
He cycles to school so no opportunity to look at it on the bus, school has a strictly enforced no phone policy. He doesn't hang round on street corners, his out of school activities are nearly all supervised by adults.
As I said, I don't doubt that he is aware of it or that he has seen some porn, but I know it's doesn't consume his time or his interest as much as the mathematical computations around when Liverpool are going to win the league.

My son is not too shy to talk about sex with me. I'm fully aware that many boys and young men watch porn. Why is so hard to believe that some of them just aren't interested in consuming it on a daily basis. Or that some parents do actually know what their kids are up to.
I'm not a prude, porn doesn't interest me particularly, but a copy of playboy 1984 and page 3 girls is a not the same as what children are exposed to today.

I had to google CFNM ... had never heard of it!! It does nothing for me :)

First encountered this with DS when he was 14, himself and friends (friends from school) had been using our Smart TV to look at porn. All lesbian porn I might add!!! I did click through the links, and went back, nothing extreme there at that tie. Who knows now with phones though...And he is older/wiser.

If he was watching it on a smart tv it was pretty recent.
Porn hub and similar has been about for at least a decade.
He's looked at more I assure you...

@ted27
I'm not casting judgement but:
It's hard to believe because it is very very unusual.

Yes playboy was/is different, but if I had a phone in 1984 I would have used that....hence the comparison a boy scout camp is no guarantee of innocence.

@Buster27 not all teenagers watch porn. There’s no need to keep insisting that the pp’s son is, you don’t even know these children!

I have watched porn myself before, I occasionally browse a bit through pornhub (but to be honest I haven’t been able to find anything appealing on there). I genuinely don’t believe that it’s healthy to watch porn as a teenager still developing a sense of sexuality. It’s really not a reflection on real sex or real people. The risk of developing ED (or an inability to enjoy real sec for women) is pretty obvious. I’m not saying that all porn is bad. I’m sure that good quality porn is perfectly fine but the kind of stuff available to teenagers who are going out looking for free stuff on the internet is grim.

@Buster72 I'm not suggesting that my son is 'innocent'. As I've said before I'm quite sure he has seen stuff I would prefer he hadnt, but I'm equally sure that he prefers football

Its ridiculous to assert that just because you were a scout who looked at porn, that my son, who happens to be a scout, looks at porn.

Its equally ridiculous to assert that every member of a particular segment of the population participates in a specific activity merely because they are a part of that group.

I'm interested in your remark ' Im not casting judgement ' but you are, but who are you judging me or my son and what for ?

I said it's unusual.

Porn does not cause ED.
illness, stress, drugs, alcohol may cause ED not porn.

It's nothing new. I saw porn on a video when I was about 14, this was about 30 years ago.

Not everybody watches porn - I never have as it holds absolutely zero interest for me.

I would imagine most teenager boys do. Girls less so.

I do on occasion. It's no biggie.

Yeah they are, and their views on sex are getting warped. Gone are the days of figuring out how it all works via awkward fumbling.

@Buster72 Disagree. There is a subreddit where men talk about how they can't get hard without porn, or at least thinking about it.

They've all seen it. That doesn't mean that they all watch it regularly.

I thought it was well known now that porn can cause ed. I'm genuinely surprised pp don't know that. Endless research is now available that shows this, I'm out atm but will link in a bit.

An interview I remember vividly was with a doctor who specialises in ED. He said for 30 years his main demographic was men over 50. In the last decade his MAIN demographic ( it was something like 85%) was boys/men between 16-25.

This is obviously without even taking into account the appalling abuse and exploitation of women in the industry. And women not in the industry whose lives are negatively affected by the behaviour of porn sick men.

Every male teen i knew did, and every girl who was active would say what weird things the boys tried to do/suggest to them, which we only found out later was the shit men do in porn to women (slap at their pussies etc).

My 14yo son was absolutely horrified recently when one of his classmates sent him a link to a por hub video. To the point he came and spoke to me about it! I was amazed tbh as I also assumed it was endemic and DS would find some way to watch it, despite me talking to him about why porn is so harmful (also much to his horror).

I don't watch it. The problem for me is that you don't know the background of the women involved, you don't know if they want to be doing that, whether they've been coerced, whether they're desperate for money so have felt they have no choice, anything about them. So I couldn't watch it with a good conscience. Also, most of the lesbian porn out there is awful, it's just so fake and not realistic. If it was done with real lesbians, ethically, maybe it's different but I STILL would not be convinced. If someone is desperate for money, they can make themselves appear like they're doing it to be so woke, sex positive, because it's cool and empowering and feminist (I don't believe this at all). Then years down the line they may hold a different opinion or have found their experiences abusive. I just can't watch something not knowing anything about the women involved and their life story. Not everything is as it seems on the surface. And it#s vile to be comvincing people you#re enjoying something when you actually hate it and don't want it to be happening.

@skybluee You could say that about a lot of the products we buy. Exploitation, abuse and coercion happen in all industries, it's not exclusively to pornography. There is plenty of wonderful work out there; if people stopped stereotyping the people and genders who watch it, perhaps more great porn would be produced.

The weird attitude towards sex amongst teenagers is not just due to the availability of online porn. Parents and educators in the UK still treat sex and sexual pleasure as a taboo subject, which distorts views. A lot of us watch violent movies, not many of us think that's how society works. If people start to become less dismissive of talking about sex to young people openly and realistically, you'll see a big difference, regardless of how much porn someone is watching.

@Futaridoushi You think 'stereotyping the people and genders who watch it' is the reason why 'more great porn isn't produced'.?

Porn caters to men. It is men who make up the main audience. All of that spitting, choking, punching, aggressive dry anal, tears etc. Overhwelmingly that is what men who watch porn want to see. Numbers don't lie.

And that is what teens see on the first page of any free porn site.

@motherheroic
You need to change your search parametres

www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/all-about-sex/201908/does-pornography-cause-erectile-dysfunction
Please can everyone read that article...
And stop reading subreddit
If they want to assert that porn causes ED