Next door neighbours have two children. Their 6 year old is in hospital about 50 miles away as that’s the nearest childrens hospital (She had an operation not related to CV).
They also have a 4 year old.
The 6 year old is in Year 1 with my DD (aged 5), the 4 year old in Reception. One of the parents works and although has used some AL they can’t afford for that parent to not be working at least contract hours. The hospital also expects a parent to be on the premises with the older child even if not bedside.
So I’ve been helping with the 4 year old. Dropping her at school or picking her up. Feeding her meals, taking her to after school activities and just hoping to keep some semblance of normality for her. She spends her weekends visiting her sister until she’s allowed home.
I do all this for free. The neighbours are lovely. I am a single parent and they have always said if DD is well enough to be at school but I am not well enough to take her they’d walk her there, a couple of times they’ve taken her in the car with them when it’s been raining so she doesn’t get wet. They’ve also picked her up a couple of times for me when I’ve been running late from work to save me childcare costs. Even if they weren’t I’d still do it, because I think that it takes a village to raise a child and I want to set the example to my child that we do something not for the reward but because it’s the right thing to do. My DD and the 6 year old are friends at school invite each other to birthday parties etc and DD likes the 4 year old enough to have invited her to her party last year and they do talk when she’s here after school about school and their activities and similar. 4 year old is always really well behaved, a bit quiet at times but I think she’s missing her parents and sister. If my DD has activities and the 4 year old is there she either tags along with us or I take her to do something else like go to the library.
My mum says she’d not do it, even if the family couldn’t afford childcare. She says that’s what paid for childcare is for and she thinks it’s cheeky of me to ask them to help me out occasionally too. She says she’d not even do it for a family member and she’s glad I never expected childcare from her after I left my husband. She’s saying the least my neighbours can do is pay me what they’d pay wrap around club at school. This is the woman who won't even babysit for an hour so I can attend parent information evenings or parents evening at school.
We’re not the closest of friends but we live near each other. And they’ve always shown me understanding and kindness. It’s not much for me to help them out.
It’s likely to only be for another few weeks, unless CV prevents the older child being discharged. But AIBU? My mum seems to think I am
Vote:
YABU – Stop helping them
YANBU – Keep doing it