to want a career and to be a fully involved mum?

[PSCMUM]

i want to work and take my children to school every day, and pick them up on day a week, and be able to go to the odd assembly and school trip. This would mean working 10am-6pm 4 days a week and 10am-2pm and 7pm-10pm on the other day, so i'd do the same amount of work i do now, well i do more than that now, and would continue to, as i bring work home. but i woudl like to do that, and still get the big cases at work, and still have a chance at reaching the top of my game.
Am i wanting too much? Shoudl i just accept the Mummy track until they are all older and I can work the long slavish hours the Uk holds so dear?

yes, I am exceeding my targets, not by much, but I am the only one in my team who is even MEETING their targets. in our last cmoplete months figures - for July - the average daily chargeable rate in my team is 3.5 hours, my average daily rate is 8 hours. This, I think, is part of why I get so furisou - i think that i earn them so much more than the people i am surrounded by, and yet, they will not cut me any slack - yes, i think you;re right annemac, its lose lose for them as I've been stupid enough to work my arse off for them and think it'll earn me some brownie points!

And in conclusion.....

We can not have it all

I include men in this as well.

I had a huge international conference in the summer. DS who is never ill, threw up several times the night before the last time being at 5.00 (alarm due to go off at 6.00) . I looked at DH and said, I am not staying at home. He did not reply as he was on his crackberry, I could have killed him.

He then looked up from the crackberry and said I have cleared my diary.

God I love that man.

YANBU.
Things do change-I'm in a different field (medicine) but in a specialty that doesn't need a lot of out of hours cover. When I trained 10 years ago there were very few women consultants who worked anything other than full time In my department now there are two who work part time and myself and one other who work flexibly.
There are a lot of legal working mums on MN who i'm sure can give you better advice than me but I just wanted to say that YANBU.

For so many of us that is all we want-to feel like a loving involved mother and to have an interesting and fulfilling career.
Both are hard work which we are prepared to commit to but hugely enjoyable and satisfying in their own ways

It's sad that we still need to ask whether we are being unreasonable.

thanks venividi. really great.

i know lady g - i don't really think I'm being unreasonable i suppose, i just hate the pace of change towards equality. men can have it all, I';m sorry, but they can, there are so many fathers in my office who work late, then go to the pub, then fly to god knows where for a few days. What mum could do that without having to draft in, probably her own mum, to help her?!

So QV did not agree with you, is this a problem ??

but those men aren't having it all..... they are not there / hands on with their dc's in the way that you (understandably) want to be....

no, of course not, uit just felt a bit like a kick in the teeth - 'sorry, but if you were at the top of your game and great at your job, then they'd want to keep you, but ut doesn't sound like that here' - just not very nice really. but thanks for jumping in with your bit of aggressive bollocks aswell. again, very helpful.

The difference is PSC, that it seems these men dont apparnetly want to be with their family.

You do.

They are, actually, missing out more than you.

Sorry if you felt my comment was stinging. The fact remains, unless you are pulling in huge amounts of business (doesnt matter what your colleagues are doing), then you dont hold the upper hand. Business is business.

Goodness me. I shall go now as it would appear you want/need other legal bods to massage your ego.

Normal parents need not apply.

Get over yourself.

oh play nicely, it's late!

If you want your cake and eat it, well, you gotta bake it yourself.

You can have a career, BUT, you are going to have to be in a position where YOU can call the shots.

Currently, you arent. You have said so.

Business is business but half the workforce in medicine is female now and it has changed. It had to. No reason why the legal profession can't too.

"men can have it all, I';m sorry, but they can, there are so many fathers in my office who work late, then go to the pub, then fly to god knows where for a few days"

All of which is exactly what you say you don't want in your OP.

how many years pqe do you have?
become a judge! hours are good as are the hols / pay and pensions......

Legal and accounting are "charge by the hour".

Time is, literally, money.

Anyway, I'm sure Xenia could have some positive input to this - give her a shout.

you must work. if you dont work you will be a parasite / a prostitute and an extremely bad role model for your children / your friends / womankind. i worked 150 hours a week from the time each of my 15 children was 1 day old and they benefitted from it. get some staff. tell your dh you are equals (except you are more equal than him). etc.

UCM....is that you?