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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Is it rude to look at people's front gardens

114 replies

Varnas · 16/03/2020 15:19

I live in UK for many years but still sometimes I wonder if I'm doing something wrong without realising.
I often glance at people's front gardens - what plants they have etc. I don't stop and look, literally a glance and I never meant to be offending.
But today an elderly woman open her front door when I was passing and started to shout at me "Why are you always looking at my garden?". /I use this street maybe 2-3 times per month/.
Now I'm thinking - is there some unspoken rule about that? Where I come from, looking at someone's garden is perfectly normal but maybe is different in UK 🤔
AIBU - I was rude.
AINBU - nothing wrong with looking at front gardens

OP posts:
Rosspoldarkssaddle · 17/03/2020 10:07

Love a good garden, me. Will stop and point out stuff I like to my companion and we will try and identify it. Kids die of embarrassment when i do it walking with them.

Flev · 17/03/2020 11:39

Looking at gardens - absolutely normal.

I get a bit frustrated by the number if people who look into our window, but have discovered that smiling and waving to them makes them jump whilst not being rude!

MerryDeath · 17/03/2020 11:57

she's mad. i live on a through road a constantly see people peering at our house and garden. I've planted some but they are still only about 60cm high so i'll just patiently wait, acknowledging there is bugger all i can do to police peoples eyes.

LAURELS. they are laurels.

skybluee · 17/03/2020 12:47

Maybe she was paranoid or unwell, you don't know.

skybluee · 17/03/2020 12:47

Especially as you say you don't stop and look, it's just a glance!

willowpatterns · 17/03/2020 14:25

She's a nutcase.

LukeSkywalkingOnTheseHaters · 17/03/2020 15:05

I enjoy awkwardly catching people's eyes whilst they're sat watching TV with the curtains open and its starting to get dark

Twofurrycatsagain · 17/03/2020 15:14

It depends. I'm convinced there is a leyline that causes people to stop directly in line with my front room window and stare at the garden. And then at the house. If they moved down slightly I wouldn't be able to see them and wouldn't care. But it is annoying when we are on a walkers route and the 10th lot do it. One lot even took photos.

Rafflesway · 17/03/2020 15:15

She is completely bonkers! How upsetting that must have been, OP. 😢

I will be honest and say that I am pretty useless when it comes to gardening but do give it a go and work hard - if not always successfully - in mine.

A lady walking her dog walked past mine last year whilst I was out doing some work in it. The lady - totally unknown to me - stopped and said, "Can I just say, your garden always looks immaculate and so lovely." I thanked her profusely!

I am still glowing at the memory and I am still a useless gardener. 😂

sayanythingelse · 17/03/2020 17:57

Completely normal. Most people around me are retired and spend all day tending to their gardens and admiring other people's. I've got garden shame as both myself and DH work full time and have a toddler so ours looks like a wasteland in comparison even though I do try.
There's some HUGE houses down the road from me and one opens its gardens a few times a year to visitors. I've never been but it's insanely popular.

ALongHardWinter · 17/03/2020 19:37

She sounds batty.

MrsItsNoworNotatAll1 · 17/03/2020 19:41

I must be rude as well then because I do this. But a lot of the time I aren't really looking. My mind is usually preoccupied with other stuff so I'm not actually taking any real notice.

Smelborp · 17/03/2020 20:09

We used to have a small front garden filled with flowers and lots of people would stop and look. I loved it. :)

Windyatthebeach · 17/03/2020 22:06

The next St to where I lived had a Fairy Garden. Stone ornaments, fairies, little houses, toadstools and anything you can think of! A few dragons too! They added to it all the time - even had a suggestion box for naming the newcomers! Most of my dc had something named after them. The house was opposite a W M C and late at night you could hear the late revellers chatting about the garden! Nothing was ever stolen or damaged. Was quite a sight to be seen tbh! Dc missed it when we moved!
Never once saw the home owners!

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