AIBU to buy 'DP' a rubber spoon .......

[Notwiththeseknees]

...... so he can get at every single atom of his muesli in his bowl OR just buy earplugs? Seriously, he spends at least 5 minutes, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, space, tap, tap, tap, space, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, tap, taptaptaptaptaptaptaptap, tap, tap, tappety fucking tap.....

I hear you. My DH is so loud I can hear him upstairs. I don't know how it's physically possible to make so much noise with a bowl and spoon.

My dad is the same. Used to drive us bonkers as kids and I have no idea how my mum puts up with it.

I think he sometimes does it extra loud on purpose because he knows it irritates us and he's a willful fucker. Love him though.

how about this instead;
www.ebay.co.uk/itm/Brunner-Faltschale-16-cm-Silicone-Bowl-Folding-Camping-Picnic-Party/153831878288?hash=item23d1182e90:m:mfNUJNG--54I4befhMrgj4Q&var=453868378496

Yup... Drives me bonkers....

Or a large hammer and a patio.

My husband does this thing at the end of his cereal.

Scrape scrape scrape. Scrapescrapescrape. Scraaaaaaape. Scrape scrape scrape.

Do you REALLY need to scrape up all the tiny bits that much?! You fucking heathen!

I am on the lookout for a silicone spoon. Surely someone has that in production somewhere? My DH is the same as yours. I am sure the neighbours can hear him scraping his fucking bowl as he takes tiny spoonfuls, prolonging everyones misery.

Wooden spoons are great for noise reduction, I recommend.

We have "yoghurt spoons" don't tell the kids that we're still using their silicon baby spoons

gosh what is it with people and yoghurt? my colleague has a pot of yoghurt every day and it takes about 30 minutes of scrape scrape scrape SCRAPE until every last molecule is gone.

No jury would convict me...

Thank you to everyone on this post for cheering me up and making me laugh. Brilliant!

Ooof.. that would send me homicidal

I have a silicone mini spatula which is more of a spoon. It is the best for nutella jars etc.

Being fairly uncouth, it's known as 'the tongue spoon' in our house (as in it'll clean the bowl as well as your tongue would)

Neighbours at my old house often ate in the garden and they were the noisiest eaters ever. Every knife and fork action seemed to be scrape, scrape, scraped ~pause~ and then scraped again across the plate until I was ready to leap the fence and throttle them! So glad I moved.

Oh god. My DH does this. I bought him an enamel bowl as a Christmas present a couple of years ago and it's the worst thing I ever did. The noise is horrendous. I've told him just to make a bigger portion of he's having to scrape every last crumb from the bowl but he says that's not the point.

I had a t-shirt made up for my DH:

A Spoon Is Not A Percussion Instrument

Aghh this reminds me of when I was younger and my dad used to scratch his knife and fork on the plate because I knew it made me feel sick. I feel on edge just thinking about it.

That’s a brilliant idea! One for DH and one for DC.

XH and XBIL used to do this at family meals (not cereal, obvs, that would've been a weird dinner).

Then The Finger would be deployed to ensure every last morsel was gathered up.

If I'd had to cite examples of unreasonable behaviour, this would've been right at the top

Hand carved wooden bowls? With his initials on it (very personal thoughtful gift). A lot quieter, but a bugger to wash.

Combine that with a small wooden spoon and he can pretend he's a hunter-gatherer upon whom the whole family depend. Might make him shut up.

My husband does this, he also can’t use a knife without sawing at the plate and he scrapes his fork with his teeth. If the kids did it he would go nuts but I don’t think he can hear it himself...

Hand carved wooden bowls? With his initials on it (very personal thoughtful gift). A lot quieter, but a bugger to wash.

God no! It would be like living with a woodpecker.... LOL at the enamel bowl WTAF were you thinking. I have found rubber spoons on Amazon and I am going to buy some. I literally can't bear the noise. Its further dragged out as he is really reading his phone and he is justifying tarrying at the table..

Yesterday I was feeding the ducks at the pond and their beaks were going yakakakakak as they hoovered every crumb floating around them (they weren't annoying though as they were moving & quarrelling) and I thought then of his breakfast... then this morning aaaaaargh

Maybe we could get the scrapers, the tappers, the tearers and the slurpers in one room and watch them slug it out. I have to say The Fingers family sound horrific (although I may do that in the privacy of the kitchen)....

Anyone have juicy apple crunchers in the family?

My husband does it with a youghurt pot scraping the very last drop out. It makes me murderous. He is also a very very loud eater the other day i had my aorpods in listening to a podcast while i did the housework and i could hear him crunching a packet of crisps theough my headphone and over the noise of the podcast.

My OH read that if you eat off a smaller plate you eat less so he uses a middle size plate but has the same amount on it, hence it goes everywhere! Think spaghetti.
When his mother was still alive she used to like hearing a Man make a lot of noise with his food, it meant he was enjoying it! The M is not a typo, she used to be able to say man as Man, more important apparently.