My toddler broke an item whilst in the care of my mother: who should pay?

[Voodoocowgirl]

I was recently on holidays with my mother, my three children, my partner and some other family members. We were having lunch at a café in a nursery that has a large area full of garden decorations and other items for sale.

My mother offered to take my 2 year old for a walk in the nursery so that I could eat my lunch in peace. She took him for about 20 minutes, we all finished eating, and then when we were all leaving my mother mentioned that my son had picked up a decorative drum while she had her back turned, took off with it and dropped it on the concrete, causing a scratch. She said the cashier asked her to pay for it, which she did. It was $200!!

I live in Australia, and the law is very clear that if you break something accidentally in a store, you are NOT legally obligated to purchase it. I was well out of sight and over 30 metres away when it occurred, and was unaware of what had happened. My mother is now very unhappy and wants me to pay for the drum. I have told her that I will pay for the drum (which is useless to me) just to keep the peace, but I'm annoyed about the situation.

WWYD?

It certainly isn't up to you to pay. He was in your mums care when it happened so if it does have to be paid by anyone, it is her. What a cheek if her to ask you for the money.

If it were me (and I found ppl legally did have to pay for the item in this situation) I might volunteer half out of kindness. But if she's being snotty with you, sod that.

Your mother should pay you don’t turn your back on a 2 year old.

Your mother should pay. What does she expect you to do, magically raise a toddler that never breaks anything?? It happened on her watch so she’s responsible.

was it Flower Power?? All their garden decorations are hugely overpriced and shouldn't be displayed where toddlers can reach them.

I think the store should be given this explanation.

If you aren’t legally obliged to pay for it why did she? And why on earth did she take him into such an expensive area? I’d be really annoyed but do the same as you.

What can I say? That’s her Christmas present sorted.

For the sake of peace, I'd offer her half if I could afford it. If she really CANNOT afford it and you can, then I;d pay.

But she really should not expect you to pay. She turned her back on a two year old! That can't be done. Certainly not in a place such as you describe.

Angels you know there are tonnes of places such as the one the OP describes in Australia right? We've got three within 5 miles of our house!

She really should have been watching him, she offered to look after him (for a very short amount of time) and then he was able to pick something up, walk away with it and then drop it without her being able to intervene. I'd be concerned about her ability to look after him in future.

FortunesFave. True enough, but most of them are a bit more organized.

I was had lunch at one not so long ago and by the time I fought my way thru the decorations, cushions and almost knocking an expensive candle over with my bag I'd had enough.

I did finally get to buy the 3 plants I originally went there for.

had lunch

Trying to imagine a garden drum worth 200 dollars. Thought America was supposed to be cheap! Sounds as if you weren’t given a chance to have a word with the shop manager. Why didn’t your mother tell you when she got back? It was definitely her responsibility. Surely you hold a two year old by the hand in a public place. Perhaps give her something towards it as you say to keep the peace but she should be putting it down to experience. She won’t let go of his hand another time.

Whether or not she should have paid, she did.
I wouldn't want my mother to be out of pocket so I could eat in peace. Whether she offered to take him or I asked her, wouldn't matter.

So, whilst I may not have offered or expected to pay, in this situation I wouldn't leave my mum to take the loss over my child's damage.

I am shocked at the responses on here. Your child, your responsibility!

To clarify:

My mother is EXTREMELY well-off financially. There is no issue there.

The drum has a very small scratch on it. It's actually a musical instrument from the gift shop rather than garden décor. After I was made aware of what had happened (after she had paid for the drum and we were leaving) I inspected it and there was no structural damage at all. Highly possible they could have sold it for a very small discount. You can't even see the scratch unless you're looking for it.

I 100% take responsibility for my child and his actions. This was not something that occurred while her full attention was on him, she told me herself that she had turned her back on him. I have three children, the oldest is 18 now, I am well aware that children move quickly and sometimes accidents and mishaps happen. However if you assume responsibility for a small child in an environment literally packed to the rafters with expensive, breakable items, then surely you don't place the child down to wander freely rather than supervise them properly?

I would not have allowed him to wander around touching expensive items, and if I had, and he had broken something, it would be my responsibility to pay for it (or make recompense in whatever way was appropriate).

I have told her I'll pay for the drum, purely to keep the peace.

Well your mother is responsible in that scenerio, and I am surprised she wants anything from you. Even though it happened on her watch why not pay 50%? Your mum is wrong to ask for a cent!

I hope you have the drum at least!

I agree with greenwheat - your childn

child*

if this was a friend and not your mother, would you expect the friend to pay? surely not

@HappydaysArehere I did not have a chance to speak with the shop owner. We were literally walking out the door when my mother told me what had happened.

@MissyNomer I do have the drum. I may try to sell it to at least recoup some of the cost.

I agree that I should have told her I'd pay for half, but I'd already told her I'd pay the full amount because I'm clearly inept at being assertive.

I'd have paid and put it down to experience. If Mum offered to reimburse then great. But people have different attitudes. A friend' s child many years ago broke a new relatively expensive toy - didn't offer so we took it on the chin but said child - eagle eyes when came round to play again.

I agree that I should have told her I'd pay for half

Nah. This one is on your mum. She shouldn't have just paid up without checking in with you first. She should have asked you to sort it out with the shop. Her paying herself without checking in with you is her paying off her own back.

Also this is her fault anyway as the 2yo was under her supervision.

I just can't see any way in which you should be expected to pay.

I think you mother is responsible for the damage because she was neglectful taking care of your DC but I think you are financially liable for it because your child your responsibility. I would quietly seethe paying her because she volunteered to pay unnecessarily and her "help" was more trouble than it was worth as you essentially got a $200 20 minute lunch break but I would still feel obligated to pay her back as it was my DC who ultimately caused the damage and insisting she should have done better while taking care of him seems quite ungrateful as she still did you a favour albeit a $200 one. I definitely wouldn't be asking or accepting her help anytime soon though

Is this what insurance is for?

That’s rotten if your mother is extremely well off to even think you should pay. I’m not surprised you’re upset. She basically spent your money. Did the shop owner even expect her to pay?

Is it something your ds could play with eventually? It sounds as if toy should give it to her for Christmas.

I'd pay her if I'd said I would but I'd also be taking myself and the drum back to the store. If the law is clear that broken items need not be paid for then the shopkeeper enforced a law that doesn't exist. I'd kick up a right stink about this, but in the shop.