to not know how to cope with this

[cantdoitalone]

I live alone and have just lost a very close family member. I don't have any family or friends support and have been feeling awful, today I spent nearly all day in bed half sleeping half crying. I only see other people when I am at work and that is the place to keep the stiff upper lip going and not think about it for me. Talking to strangers on the phone doesn't help me either but I have nowhere to turn to.
I should man up I know and it's my own stupid fault I have nobody but it is so hard.

Will taking to us help? If so, tell us about your family member.

There are also in person groups if that helps.

Tell us about them, what were they like?

They used to be a pilot, travelled all round the work until they were grounded with epilepsy then settled into retirement.

OP. I hope it gets easier for you soon.

We're here OP

Commercial pilot? That's always seemed like a glamorous job to me. Did they have a favourite destination?

It's not your fault you have nobody. Please be kind to yourself , especially at the moment x

They did long haul, Australia was a favourite, they usually went via the Middle East but The Far East too sometimes. It was a family joke they could have had a family in each place and we'd never know.

Sending virtual elbow bumps xx

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Do you have any stories of them? Tell us!

They used to fly all over the place, they sent me postcards from each place when I was a child, not sure what happened to them though. The only written thing I have now is their signature on their will.

I'm sorry for your loss. What did they do in retirement, did they have hobbies?

Australia was a favourite

Long haul is definitely the best.

When my gran died I liked to remember the little things. Her cow milk jug. And telling me I had a future career as a plaster's mate because of how I buttered toast. What are the little things?

But how wonderful that they thought of you from every place they went :)

Would you ever take a trip to somewhere that was special to them?

Did they have a favourite story about their travels?

So sorry for your loss OP. Can you share a favourite memory you have of them? Or a funny quirk they had, to raise a smile?

So sorry to hear of your loss. My mother died two weeks ago and I also live alone, but have coped with the loss well (so far), but I know we are all different in the way we deal with grief. Take care of yourself.

Sorry for your loss OP. They sound like they led a really interesting life.

So sorry for your loss OP.

It’s never an easy journey through grief. You can’t hurry it through either. You have to ride the waves and early on they are huge waves that feel unbearable. But somehow in time those waves become further apart and you find a way to ride them.

CRUSE website might be helpful. They are the bereavement charity.

Thank you for sharing a bit about your family member. That connection will always be there.

Take good care of yourself.

Eaglejulesk so sorry for your loss. The first two weeks was somehow bearable because I was busy with arrangements and it all fell apart today.

I am planning a trip to Oz to see their favourite places there when their house has been sold and things have calmed down with travelling next year

That sounds great, OP. And something for you to look forward to.

@cantdoitalone Oz is wonderful, make sure you plan well. Maybe join some travel groups on fb, they always help me a lot when I travel. Sorry about your loss, it sucks doesn’t it..

The first two weeks was somehow bearable because I was busy with arrangements and it all fell apart today.

That is so so true.

What were their favourite places in Oz?