To ask what your relationship is like with your parents if you're an only child?

[thisusernameismine]

That's it really. Very interested in responses!

I'm 45 and embarrassingly I still behave like I'm 15 when I see them. We live 3.5 hours away so I don't see them much.
I'm spoilt but very loved by my parents not helped by the fact my mum was an overindulged only child too and so was her mother...
I absolutely adore my parents but find it hard now they are getting a bit older and are less active. I can't bear the thought that they won't be with me forever. I hate thinking they will rely on only me. Luckily my husband is brilliant with them and will help keep when the time comes.

Hmm. Hated my father and felt so sorry for my mum.
My dad passed some years ago, my mum is still lovely and vibrant but still feels guilt.
Had a half sister who was in a ‘mental institution’ in the sixties but died before the seventies.
I was six.
Have always felt lonely.
Discovered two years ago that I had an older brother but by the time I’d found him he’d already died.
I’m married to a wonderful man with two amazing adult children and a loving in-law family yet I still feel alone.

Only child to DM and was for a very long time for DF.
No contact with either because they are both selfish, self serving bastards who really couldn’t have given a shit about the child they created.
I have a great DH, DS and DSS, I don’t miss my parents.

My mum is my best friend. We have a great relationship.

I'm NC with my dad but he and my mum divorced when I was 2 and he was a bad father and a bad person in general.

I’m not close to my mother. We don’t have much in common and she’s not really that interested in my life, nor I in hers.

I was very close to my dad but he’s passed away.

I am 54, an OC and have a lovely relationship with both parents despite living on opposite sides of the world. We Skype weekly and travel to meet up whenever possible. They take an active interest in their grandchildren and have cared for them frequently during the UK summer holidays.
Growing up they were very conscious of my single child status so encouraged me to join various extra curricular activities and to invite children to our home for playdates, hangouts and parties etc. I was always allowed to take a friend on holiday. I think their behaviour allowed me to experience the best of both worlds: the close interaction between parent and child whilst encouraging peer relationships.
Now they are in their 80's and I worry about them and miss them but they are selflessly happy to see my family thrive in a different country. I will move back if/when they need nursing. I feel very lucky to still have them in our lives.

Not seen df for over 20 years.
Been nc with dm for 8 years. Previously 10 years.. Except a 2 year blip of contact.

Was mainly expected to behave like an adult, but at the same time parents controlled everything. Mum expected and still expects that I will feel exactly the same as she does about everything, doesn’t actually ask how I feel, just tells me. It has taken nearly 50 years, several significant episodes of very poor mental health and a lot of therapy to begin to be able to recognise, never mind voice, my own actual feelings.

Very close to my mum
Have had difficult relationships with my dad since I was about 3
I still visit them weekly and stay over. I still get treated like a child and often feel like one. And I feel so responsible to do everything they wished for because there's only me. And I'm gay, no children so I've failed on carrying on our family which upsets me.

My DH is an only (they would have like more but it didn’t happen) and his parents spoil him rotten, he is the main thing in their lives.

Luckily he’s a very sensible, laid back type and doesn’t let himself be spoiled but I don’t think he likes being their sole focus, there has at times been a lot of pressure on him to not leave them to go to uni or work away but he’s always done what he wanted and not given in to the guilt trips.

Absolutely amazing

DDIJ Thats a very sad thing to read. And as long as you love your children, you've trumped them on usefulness :(

This

I don’t have a good relationship with my parents.

I struggle to work out if it’s just them or their religion that causes it.

Not an only child, but of all my friends, the two who strike me as being closest to their parents are both only girls. Both have healthy outgoing parents with great social lives so it’s not a “duty” thing - they both genuinely enjoy they’d parents’ company and spend loads of time with them.

Other friends have good relationships too - but these two are notably super close.

Dm and DF still together. Still have a fantastic relationship with both.
Relationship with them has only got better this year with arrival of my DD and their first grandchild. Speak to them in a group family chat daily and see them several times a week

Not good. For various reasons.

I know they are disappointed in my decision not to have children. I’m disappointed that they let me down a lot as a kid. We have nothing in common at all.

My mother an oc adored her parents. They adored her and had wanted more.

I was an oc. A mistake. My mother never wanted dc and I was not planned and was not and am not the dd she would have wanted. My df was lovely but they hated each other - she got married in an empire line gown. She told me when I was 21 that the only teason I was born was because she hadn't been brave enough to have an illegal abortion.

I am nearly 60. I wpuld love to have once, just once have pleased my mother.

My grandparents were awesome.

I’m very close to my parents and see them almost every day. They are adored by my children as well. They both have ongoing health issues and that really scares me. I don’t know how I’ll cope when either of them dies. I try not to think about that.

Brilliant. I'm still treated like a child when I see them by my mum especially, but I don't complain really

They are my best friends really.

I'm an only.

My father died in 1990. My mother died 12 years ago. My relationship with her was tense. I wasn't quite what she wanted but never knew why, really. I was a very dutiful daughter all my life despite not always living close by.

She could be quite nasty (such as blaming me for DD becoming ill with bronchiolitis one Christmas) but also very generous with money.

I only realised as I got older that she was deliberately belittling me. She would compare me (unfavourably) with friends, would not acknowledge any of my achievements and did not have my back.

She was obsessed with appearance and looks and would happily critique me (and my classmates). Sunday evenings would be spent with her squeezing my non-existent blackheads out. I became quite obsessive about my skin as she told me repeatedly that I looked dirty.

She squashed the tiny bit of confidence I had.

I had to grow a very strong backbone to deal with her.

Good. We live in different countries now but I fly and see them 4/5 times a year. They are awesome and I love them. I was completely spoilt (not materially but with love and affection). I wish I lived near them

I’m an only child, very close to my parents, particularly my mum. We’re a tight-knit family. I was/am moderately spoilt but they never went overboard! I am very lucky to be so supported by them.

My DP is also an only child. He has a loving but slightly distant relationship with his parents (he’s probably closer to his grandparents). He is spoilt rotten and resents it as they are quite materialistic and value getting him stuff/giving him money over spending time with him.