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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is she being a CF

94 replies

nomorepeppax · 12/03/2020 21:51

So BIL GF fridge broke just before Xmas so partner lent her £500 for the fridge she wanted on the basis she pays back £40 every month. The first 2 months were a nightmare to get money from her and now my BIL and his GF have broke up. He tried calling her a few days ago with no answer so messaged her reminding her that she has to pay for this month. She ignored it for a few days so I messaged her today and she replied saying she can't afford it so we can take the fridge back. No problem, we could do with a new fridge anyway as ours was second hand when we got it. Got someone to come and help us collect it and she's ignoring all our calls and texts. Her mum then phoned me shouting abuse down the phone to me and my partner and we explained that we just want this sorted. She either pays us as agreed or she lets us come and collect it. She hangs up and has either turned her phone off or blocked our numbers. We went to ex GF house and no one is in and can't get hold of either of them. I messaged again tonight explaining that I can get someone to collect it tomorrow but if that's not convenient she'll have to bring it to us as they can't do it any other day.

I'm obviously fuming now because we helped her out when she was in need, but is now doing this. What can we do next? I don't want to keep calling/texting but I'm worried that she's going to keep ignoring us and we'll be out of pocket and won't even have the fridge! If she had replied asking for more time to pay etc then that wouldn't have been a problem, but the fact that she is ignoring us makes me think she's going to avoid us and keep it. Is this a case for a small claims court or would that cost more than it's worth?
TIA

OP posts:
Notimeforaname · 12/03/2020 22:13

Shouldnt this be your BIL's problem? Why is he leaving you to chase the CF up?

Willow2017 · 12/03/2020 22:26

It costs very little to take her to small claims court. Why should she get a free fridge? Go for it.

LangSpartacusCleg · 12/03/2020 22:32

Small claims court.

It isn’t rocket science, you can do it yourself and there is a good chance she will take it seriously and either cough up or return the fridge before you need to take time off to go to court.

LangSpartacusCleg · 12/03/2020 22:33

Oh, and if you get so much as one more abusive phone call, report it to the police.

MrMeSeeks · 12/03/2020 22:38

Advise her she either lets you come get it ( tomorrow or day very soon) or you’ll take her to small claims ( and mean it).
Don’t let her fob you off with excuses or change days, you pick the day and state you will be coming at this day and time to collect either the fridge or money it’s her choice.

MrMeSeeks · 12/03/2020 22:38

Also tell her you’re saving all abusive texts for small claims and if you get any more they’ll be reported to the police.

Original poster
nomorepeppax · 12/03/2020 22:43

Not sure if I made it clear that me and my partner lent her the money, not BIL so we're not bringing BIL into the situation as it's not his fault or problem. The phone call took me by surprise as from the minute I answered she was just shouting at me telling me how her daughter doesn't have the money and I can collect it when it's convenient for her but wouldn't tell me when. Every time I tried to speak she shouted over me. My partner took the phone in the end as he couldn't listen to her talking to me like that. We've already said that if they do let us collect it, or drop it to us, then we are going to have a phone recording all interaction as I'm sure they will be aggressive towards us.

I am going to ask her again tomorrow when we can collect it and state that if it isn't convenient she can either send us the money for it, or she can arrange for it to come to us by a certain date.

I am going to look into small claims as I have no idea how they work. Didn't know if I was over reacting by bringing them up, but I do think it might push her to either pay or return it as I don't think she will want to go to court

OP posts:
Snuggz · 12/03/2020 22:43

Why did your partner give £500 to his brother’s girlfriend and not his own brother (her partner) funding it? That’s weird, especially (assuming) if they weren’t together that long and have now split.

Does your partner have anything in writing/signed that he was lending her the money and the monthly repayments expected? Otherwise chances are she can claim he gifted her the money/fridge and he’ll also be down the court fees to start the claim also.

Original poster
nomorepeppax · 12/03/2020 22:51

They had been together 6 years, but BIL didn't have the money to lend her, my partner did and wanted to help her out. We thought we knew her well enough to stick her her part of the agreement. Nothing before hand or official in writing but partner brought it online so receipt has his name on it and she has written in texts that we can have our fridge back as she can't afford to pay for it. I don't know if that helps our case at all

OP posts:
StSaulOfSnacks · 12/03/2020 22:55

Small claims court.

Vedaisawesome · 12/03/2020 23:53

Fridges only cost a £100 or so. Our frost free under counter larder fridge only cost £110. What did she want that cost £500 and why didn't your partner just order a basic fridge and say that's what he was willing to pay for? Think you'll have to go to court to get it back as she's a taker!

Notimeforaname · 12/03/2020 23:55

Sorry OP I read that wrong! I didn see it was your partner who lent the money! Blush

Original poster
nomorepeppax · 13/03/2020 00:21

It's a fridge freezer, sorry should have made that clear. But yeah, she wanted this one so partner ordered it. I think he just thought, well she's paying it back so it's up to her. I obviously wasn't happy at the time, and feel like saying I told you so, but I just want this sorted now as I don't want to be getting abusive calls every day. Do you think her telling us to come and collect 'our' fridge is enough for us to win the case in court though?

OP posts:
Isla727 · 13/03/2020 00:23

Could you just let it go? Or accept a smaller payment each month?

HollowTalk · 13/03/2020 00:23

I would go to the small claims court for this one, OP. In fact I'd want the money rather than the fridge. Was your BIL living with her? Could she say it was half his responsibility?

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2020 00:40

You could try to ask one more time tomorrow and if you get nowhere, definitely state that you intend to take her to small claims court.

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2020 00:41

Maybe it will be enough for her to realise its not worth the fight.

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2020 00:44

And if you do end up going to collect,or they drop it off, obviously check the fridge inside and out before you leave/let them leave .
Wouldn't surprise me if the cheeky fucks tried to break or damage it just to be spiteful🙄

Original poster
nomorepeppax · 13/03/2020 01:01

The option of just leaving it is a no no. We've had problems every month getting the money and now she's just choosing to ignore us and getting her mum to call and shout. I will give her another chance to sort this tomorrow and then will inform her that I will go to small claims court. If she offers money tomorrow I will inform her that we want all the money or the fridge because I don't want to be in this position again every month.

I feel bad because she will be without a fridge again, but that's not really my problem. She has the money to pay my partner back every month (always has hair and nails done, always seems to be going shopping somewhere). I think she is just being nasty because of the breakup and hopes we'll drop it. But I told her in one of the messages that whatever is going on with them is nothing to do with us, we just want this sorted.

BIL has never lived with her, he used to stay a couple of nights a week but never full time

OP posts:
Lalala205 · 13/03/2020 01:18

Wow £500?!!! She could have got one second hand from gumtree for £50-70! Yes, it's nice to be nice but it must be a pretty fancy American double style affair?

Notimeforaname · 13/03/2020 01:31

Do not feel bad for her op.
She doesn't care that you are out of pocket.
CF

biwinoone · 13/03/2020 01:32

Print out all the messages before she deletes them. First send her a message saying that she needs. to make the payment in full in the next 15 days otherwise you will take her to small claims court. If she doesn't pay then follow through. It's easy and you can do it yourself.

biwinoone · 13/03/2020 01:33

and don't take the fridge back. Get your money back and get a new fridge. Who knows what state she will leave the fridge in just to spite you?

expat101 · 13/03/2020 01:34

I don't think whatever repayment deal you strike now is going to be adhered to by the ex. Personally I would go around Sunday night and you would expect her home to collect it.

They made the offer you can have it, so go for it.

timeisnotaline · 13/03/2020 01:36

I’d want the money too. So I’d just give her 2 days and go ahead with small claims.

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