Reasonable force in primary school

[Sweetpea4]

I am new to this so please bear with me.
My 10yr old son came home from school yesterday and said he hadn't had a good day.I asked why and he told me that a TA had heard him and another boy laughing in the toilets so she went in to see what was going on.There was soap on the floor, which my son swears was there when he went in, but the TA called them both liars when they said they hadn't done it.
She told both boys to follow her back to class,which they did,but she stopped and grabbed both boys by the shoulders and marched them to the classroom then pushed them both into the room.
I questioned my son about the incident and got him to show me exactly what she did.
I phoned the school and got no answer so I went up.Unfortunatly I bummed into the TA involved and I told her never to touch my son again(I wasn't nice as by this time I was raging)I spoke to the deputy head and I was told that all involved would be spoken to today.Do you think I have done the right thing as what my son has told me I don't think it justifies her putting her hands on him

You should never do things in a rage! I know easier said then done, believe me I really have to calm myself over these kind of situations as like you I want to go in all guns blazing.
Depends on how this ta held/grabbed your child and if your son told the complete truth about what happened.
Did the ta give you a explanation as to what had happened?
Let the head investigate and see what has happened. But if she has grabbed your child then yes that’s not on but going in like a bull in a china shop is not always the answer.

You’ve not helped yourself or your son by ‘raging’.

No, of course you haven’t done the right thing by crashing in there raging.

Unfortunately no you haven't done the right thing. You cannot always count on children's versions of events, it's always best to get 2 sides of the story before you give someone a mouthful.
Also his account doesn't ring true, if they were following as requested she would have no need to turn around and grab them?

You haven't done the right thing by raging but have every right to question why the TA needed to grab them both then push them into the room when they were following her anyway. It seems like the TA lost control as well and I would probably go in and apologize in regards to your rage but expect an explanation about her actions and an apology to your son if what he has told you is correct.

According to their account, she grabbed them both because they were messing in the toilets and marched them into the classroom, she didn’t hit them with a cane (my day) or shoot them (USA).

YA Definitely BU and made yourself look very foolish for not remaining calm and waiting for an explanation.

Are you normally so hot headed and aggressive?

Of course YABU. You are now going to be known as one of 'those' parents.

You have no idea what really went on at this stage, do you, so why on earth would you go storming around 'raging' at people?!

Why are you taking your son’s word that they weren’t arsing about in the toilets? They clearly were, or the TA wouldn’t have felt the need to intervene.
Unfortunately, you’ve made yourself extremely hard to take seriously by your ill mannered treatment of the TA. We can only hope it wasn’t in front of the children?? That could get you banned from school premises.

I don’t believe for a second the TA used the word liars. Nor do I believe the boys weren’t messing around and I further don’t believe she grabbed or pushed them. That’s more than her job is worth.

Total overreaction on your part.

This is why the world is full of kids with no discipline

People do things that are "more than their job is worth" all the time. That's a crap reason to assume something didn't happen. Just look at a few police misconduct hearings.

I mean this in a fairly nice way, but the version your 10 year old son gave isn't necessarily the whole story, nor is it necessarily the actual truth. I'd have waited to hear school's version before "raging" and speaking to the TA.

There are shitty TA's out there so it's not impossible she behaved inappropriately. But it's also not impossible your DS fibbed to cover up the truth and you didn't take the time to listen to anyone else, so you're going to need to go back in to the school and have a calm conversation.

She took them by the shoulders and took them into the classroom?

Eh? Why did this make you rage? Teachers are allowed to touch students. She didn't shove them. She didn't push them? Or did I misread it? Happy to be corrected

You haven't put yourself in a very good light though. I'm sorry. But you ran into the school raging.

Bumming the TA probably didnt help.And why do people always believe the events as stated by their child? Totally baffles me.

There must have been bloody good reason for her to go into the toilets, because we really, really aren't supposed to do that.
I can't believe you confronted the woman directly either!

@OneTimePrepper because their PFBs can do no wrong and so the poor staff have to put up with shit behaviour from children and parents.

YABU.

Do you always blindly believe your DS without doing the adult thing and making your own enquiries before “raging” at other people.

You sound awful.

@DowntownAbby
Yes I think thats right. There really needs to be an intensive course people must pass before they are allowed to reproduce.

Tbh in our school adults are not allowed into the children’s toilets during the day when children are in school so this wouldn’t have been seen anyway. But no, staff should not be manhandling children unless they are being a danger to themselves or others. But you could have dealt with it better imo. I would have gone in and asked questions first.

Your op is actually extremely irritating, dwelling entirely on the TA “putting her hands on him” as if it was an actual assault, and literally no thought to the fact that your little darling is almost certainly lying about the whole episode.
It’s almost like a script of kids today, and why they’re the way the are
Have you no self awareness at all; doorstepping the TA on school premises?!

Complete over reaction. I have a feeling your DS has not been entirely truthful.

If you really were "raging" expect to be banned from school premises.

Ah, one of those parents. Totally believes their little darling’s version of events so goes steaming in to defend the angel by screaming abuse at the poor TA. No wonder the kid misbehaves.

I think this could be a learning experience for you OP.

You were totally out of order.
Now the TA will tell her boss that no wonder your son behaves the way he does as his mother is an aggressive bully, who encourages her precious child to speak to members of staff like shit.
He should not have been messing about in the toilets and needs to learn some respect.
No wonder school staff are lea omg in droves when they have to tolerate vile Kate ta like you.