AIBU being annoyed at people who can't take no for an answer?

[LBFan]

I feel like I am in a loop of feeling pissed off and being told to just be grateful.

A few (made up) examples to try and convey what I mean:

Person: Do you want a cup of coffee?
Me: No thanks I don't drink coffee
Person: I bought you a cup of coffee anyway, you can just drink half of it.

Person: I'm getting a slice of cake from the cafe, would you like one?
Me: I can't eat anything sweet due to a medical conditon, but thank you for offering.
Person: I bought you some cake anyway, you can just eat a bit of it.

Person: Do you fancy getting some lunch?
Me: I have already eaten before I left the house, I don't mind coming along though.
Person: I know you said you had already eaten but it just doesn't feel right to be eating when you are not so I bought you a sandwich.

I feel like I am constantly saying no to people, and I also feel like nobody in my life actually listens to me. Constantly feel guilt tripped into doing things I don't want to do.

Side note: I obviously don't say no to everything, just the things I know I can't have due to illness or if I have already eaten etc

AIBU to feel like nobody ever listens to me when I say no? How do I get people to actually listen to me when I do say no to something?

She's not always been like that. She's been through some really shitty stuff over the past ten years and has decided enough is enough!

Why would you eat before going to a cafe with someone though? It's awkward when you go out with someone and want to enjoy your food and they are just sitting there watching you, with nothing. Maybe meet people in other places, or order a drink and a small snack.

My MIL (Irish) was the queen of this. I just used to leave it.

It's a bit odd to meet in a cafe then not have even a drink. I'd feel weird with someone watching me eat or drink but having not even a drink in that situation. Could you ask for juice or water instead. I do think it's often sabotage or a power & control thing tho. I had a clinically obese friend with weight related health issues who'd sulk initially if I didn't have cake with my coffee. She learnt to live with it in the end.

my favourite response to repeated ignoring of my wishes/boundaries is "What part of the word 'NO!' don't you understand?"

Usually one big row where i stand my ground and give them a few home truths in response to being called 'ungrateful' is all it takes....

CSIblonde
I agree with you on the cafe front. It would be unusual to meet in a cafe, not order anything and then sit whilst the other person had a drink and something to eat.

It reminds me of one cafe near where I used to work where the college/uni students would think nothing of one person ordering a drink and then 5 of them sit at a table for an hour chatting, meanwhile paying customers struggled to get tables.

Say something like "I said no, why are you being bossy?" and then put it in front of them or give it back.
Every time

Op the first answer you got was right... It's the way you say no. For example, the way I say no when I secretly want something or say no to be polite, sounds different to when I say no and I genuinely don't want anything. The same words come out of my mouth but a different tone.

I remember there was an event at work and there were cakes being offered around. I said no, and the cake got forced on me (probably because I did want it), and I saw how someone else said no, and they literally looked at the cake, smiled at the person and shook their head in a silent "nah" and continued on doing what they were doing, so there wasn't an option for the person to ask again... The exchange had finished.

I think I have a pretty good ‘no and mean it’ face. Seems to work. I also don’t budge if people try to persuade me on things like a slice of cake or a drink.

Carry on saying no. Don’t stop. Maybe try a slightly sarcastic ‘Again, as I’m sure you’re well aware, it’ll be a no from me’. I think offering and ignoring the persons request is more rude than the person saying no.