Member of staff stroked my child's face

[FeeFee382]

Aibu to be annoyed that a member of staff in John Lewis touched my babies face today?!

With coronovirus at large, this does annoy me but it's not ok to just touch random babies. Why do people do this?!

In that case no one should touch anyone.
You should be telling your DD that no one should touch her newbies including you.

Nothing wrong with my hygiene, so she's more than happy for me to hold her babies.

I would have thought that most people wouldn't want someone touching their newborns with filthy hands but it obviously isn't something that would bother a lot of people.

I certainly wouldn't want strangers walking up to me and touching my face but each to their own.

I take it this is your firstborn op?

It might have been a fleeting thought after the event but I certainly wouldn't care enough to still be thinking about it and writing a thread on MN about how disgusted I am. Chill.

For goodness sake.
Still I'm really pleased for you that you nothing else to complain about.
Well done you.

If the staff member was a man I’d be concerned.

If it was a woman she was probably just being maternal.

Older women seemed to do this quite a lot with my DC. It never really bothered me.

"If the staff member was a man I’d be concerned"

If the staff member was a man I’d be concerned

Why on earth would it make a difference?

@belleharePenguin

I could smell the smoke. Have you ever smelt a smoker! YUCK

Regardless of smoke, regardless of corona.

She shouldn't have touched my baby! End of.

I am usually of the "aw, it's good for babies to be included in the community, you just have to accept different customs"-school.

But this is after at least a week of avoid-handshaking, always-wash-your-hands-before-you-touch advice. It's been everywhere. Her employers should have briefed her, too.

I was at the pharmacy in boots the other morning chatting to the pharmacist after stocking up on kids meds and the cleaner wondered over and started chatting to 11 month DD and took her hand (as DD was waving them at her )and was saying how gorgeous she was . Wouldn't knock a stir out of me to be honest . I find it weird that people are so weird about it

This is weird. I would never touch a strangers baby.

And I'm not a "don't touch my child" mum, my DD gets lots of love, cuddles and kisses from people who know me/her - it doesn't bother me. Lots of strangers coo over her and have a look - which is fine.

But a stranger touching your child is weird and wrong - even before Coronavirus.

YANBU
You are also not being precious. I bet none of the people on here giving you stick would like it if a stranger stroked their face. It's just bloody weird.

This thread is batshit. Amazed there are people out there who are totally comfortable with every Tom, Dick and Harry touching their babies. It’s almost like it’s seen as fashionable to see who can be the most blasé about it.

@CrystalAlligator I feel the same. Where do we draw the line with allowing strangers to walk up and stroke them, when they turn one? When they turn 5? 10? I don't want total strangers touching my children either and I'm hardly precious nor a germaphobe. DC got lots of cuddles and attention from all family members, friends, childminders etc. But strangers in a shop? Not cool with it, outbreak or not.

Boredoftherain

Yeah, I’m uncomfortable with the idea that strangers have a right to touch babies just because they’re young/small, quite aside from the germs issue (which I am unashamedly cautious about: babies have a very weak immune system).

I’m quite sure that the posters who are fine with it wouldn’t feel so accepting if they saw the person walk straight out of having a shit without washing their hands, or having just had a cigarette, picked up their dog’s shit or changed a litter tray. Yet if you’re fine with random people coming over and touching your child that’s exactly the sort of stuff you’re accepting because many people have terrible hygiene. It’s just that you can’t see it!

Or maybe someone will prove me wrong and say they are in fact fine with all of the above.

With coronavirus you may have a point. Without, get a fucking grip.

Jesus, OP you do not deserve the pasting you're getting on here.

Several posters eager to flaunt their laid back parent credentials ("I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom") have said in their stories that the people touching or holding their child prefaced with a request to the parent. Different thing entirely.

Someone sticking their hand in the pram apropos nothing is fucking alarming. Someone doing it on the back of a few second polite chitchat is overstepping. Someone saying "do you mind if I touch/have a hold?" is respectful and offering the caregiver the chance to say yes or no and explain anything they may not be aware of re immune system, illness or anything else.

There is a special level of hell reserved for anyone who risks waking a sleeping baby by sticking their claw in without the OK from a potentially knackered new mother.

In case anyone is wondering, yes those are now the definitive rules of play. Happy to help.

Sticking their claw in?

Behave yourself.

I have a friend who was sitting in a food court in a shopping centre having a bite to eat while her newborn (3wks) was asleep in the bassinet part of the pram beside her after a feed.

A cleaner who was wiping down tables stopped and cooed over the baby, asked how old she was etc, then said "oh look, she's had a little spit-up", and proceeded to wipe the baby's face with the cloth she had just been using to wipe the dirty tables before my friend could even speak, far less intervene.

Irrelevant maybe, but if someone thinks nothing of wiping a newborn's face with a dirty rag, who's to know what random persons hygiene standards are. I'm nothing like pfb (4 kids, two are teenagers), but I'd be really annoyed with anyone touching my baby without asking. It's just rude.

OP, I was all prepared to come and tell you that you were being unreasonable (thought the thread would be about nursery worker or teacher or something). But YANBU. It's not ok to randomly stroke people's babies without permission.

I don’t know why you’d take a baby into a shop at this time without a rain cover. Any random person could sneeze on your baby. Would that be pleasanter? Cover the baby or put her in a sling facing in.