Member of staff stroked my child's face

[FeeFee382]

Aibu to be annoyed that a member of staff in John Lewis touched my babies face today?!

With coronovirus at large, this does annoy me but it's not ok to just touch random babies. Why do people do this?!

I'm not sure.I'm pregnant at the moment and the amount of staff and customers who think it's fine to touch or stroke my stomach is unbelievable. I feel like screaming fuck off, shall I stroke your stomach.I don't because I know it's not malicious.
I suspect it will be the same when I have my baby (hopefully they won't be touching my stomach though!) I get it. Babies are cute. It's not the same as touching an adult.
I don't touch other people's babies but in some ways it's nice to see that people are still interested in others and it's meant to be affectionate, nothing else. So I understand how you feel but think you are being unreasonable

I'm with you OP, I detested random strangers touching my children.

That’s it now, you’re probably all going to catch it and die .

Oh, btw, although I can see why people do things, and I don't mind, but I think it's totally reasonable for some people to feel annoyed and offended too. It's basic human rights to feel either way, regardless of circumstances like now.

Your baby is more likely to get ill from people coughing and sneezing nr them or your hands if you are not washing them every time before you pick your baby up out of their buggy or whatever they are in.

I don't think people should touch babies faces, but if you are really worried, taking a young baby to a department store is daft anyway.

I worry about a family member doing this. She has dementia and recently deteriorated rapidly and she's suddenly started to notice babies and is drawn to them when they're laughing or smiling.

I'd hate to stop going out for a walk with her or to stop going to the shops in case she does this. (I know we might need to stop the shops until coronavirus plays out.)

I worry about a family member doing this. She has dementia and recently deteriorated rapidly and she's suddenly started to notice babies and is drawn to them when they're laughing or smiling.

Pretty sad if we can't make allowances for deteriorating old people not controlling themselves around smiling babies.

Though I would not reach out and touch a baby without first asking (and I wouldn't , as babies don't move me that much unless my own) I am wondering when the hell some became so damn precious and enclosed in their own bubble.

YABU .

In John Lewis?

Well at least the staff member had middle class germs, it's not like you were in ASDA.

I saw it happen in slow motion

Get. A. Grip.

She looked at me like I was mad

Quite understandable.

When I lived in UK I also had this view, about what I thought was personal space and boundaries, but it really was based on fear and creating barriers between people. These days people will not get involved, if you see kids misbehaving, people will look the other way and hope someone else / or an official will stop it. If a child is hurt or lost, adults ( and especially men) are afraid to help for fear of being accused of some crime or another. People do not want to communicate and you can see the awkwardness when ppl do (this is my experience in London but assume it is similar in other cities). This is the society we have made, one where ppl keep their eyes down until they reach home, where there is no sense of community, where ppl live in fear about every aspect of their lives and any interaction is viewed with suspicion and seen as evidence of some worst case scenario. Everyone is viewed with suspicion and as such no one wants to do anything.
About a decade ago I moved to a small village in Spain, and it was a real eye opener , strangers would stoke our kids hair, Adults would admonish kids who were misbehaving, and kids would listed and respect what they were told, nearly everyone says good day or some pleasantry to ppl that pass. I lost a baby bag and when I got home someone had left in on my door step untouched. There are numerous other things that happened too
Initially my reaction was to be straight on the defensive and checking for some crime and be on edge trying to end the interaction asap, but now I realise its why we love living in the town and feel safe. We know ppl will help us or the kids out. I have never seen any trouble in our town which I feel is also linked.
And, in my view, this all starts with a view that a person that strokes a childs head is doing it out of warmth and love and not because they are some kind of molester.

@Cheeseandwin5

There is a definite cultural coupling of random stranger affection and discipline. I recall when I was a kid no one was ever afraid of telling me off (my sister and I were once rolling down our driveway in a wagon into the street - wince - and some random lady got out of her car and yelled at us for a good five minutes straight. Probably saved our lives).

Naturally there's an overlap between those who despise stranger cheek stroking and their children being told off for being naughty.

I liked people noticing my beautiful, gorgeous, amazing baby . No-one EVER touched my pregnant stomach, I must look really fierce..

I just couldn't get worked up about this. Babies are adorable and extremely appealing-looking (to most). That's why our species survives.

yanbu

I think it's so so weird to randomly touch/kiss other peoples babies and would never do it.

perfectly possible to coo and smile at a baby as interaction rather than having to touch the baby.

let's not tell people what they can and cant feel comfortable with either - you're not precious just because a few Susan's on here think you should offer your baby up as public property because they're "cute"

Is bump stroking a regional thing or is it just my “fuck off and die” face, because I literally never had anyone touch my bump through any of my pregnancies. It just seems to me to be a really weird thing for anyone to even want to do.

On the other hand I didn’t care who touched my babies. With the first one I’d have handed him to the local axe murderer for 5 ministers peace 😂.

I didn't really get much bump stroking by strangers and couldn't get worked up about it actually. Then i didn't have a problem with people stroking my baby, and not just stroking her, they'd ask and pick her up and coo with her and the village neighbours who did this still talk to her and make a fuss and she is 20 months old now. But then I live in Spain and there really isnt as much of this preciousness here...

Yanbu. I have a three month old and it’s surprised me how few boundaries so many people have around him. Friends of similar age kids find the same (some of whom are onto their second so not just a PFB thing).

I wouldn’t ever go up to some random person and touch them because I found them appealing, whatever their age or size. Not to mention you don’t know what they’re going to do until it’s too late if you allow the touching to start. I’ve had friends who’ve experienced strangers sticking their fingers in their baby’s mouth. Another had someone drip snot onto his face leaning into the pram. COVID-19 or not, it’s not cool and I don’t allow it.

As soon as I spot the lunge I just take a step back and say firmly ‘please don’t touch him, he’s not had his jabs yet’, as I don’t want to feel rude. But tbf the person offering the unwanted touching is the one being rude as much as I try do it politely I’m not gonna lose sleep over someone being upset they didn’t get to touch a stranger’s child. They’re not toys ffs.

let's not tell people what they can and cant feel comfortable with either - you're not precious just because a few Susan's on here think you should offer your baby up as public property because they're "cute"

• OP is soliciting opinions
• in what sense is cheek-stroking taking ownership of a baby?
• what's with the Susans - is this a new way of sneering?

I'm not sure.I'm pregnant at the moment and the amount of staff and customers who think it's fine to touch or stroke my stomach is unbelievable. I feel like screaming fuck off, shall I stroke your stomach.I don't because I know it's not malicious.

It’s the best way to respond tbh. Reach over and touch theirs. If they act surprised say ‘oh, I thought this was what we were doing?’

You don’t have to allow anyone to touch your child when they arrive btw, it makes me sad to see friends sometimes put up with things they’re really not happy with for the sake of not wanting to appear rude. The rudeness is in striding over to touch a complete stranger just cos you find them cute.

This again??? At this rate it needs its own topic. It should be called "Don't come near my baby, I'm an overly precious mother"

Some people don't follow the same rules that you have. She's not to know what your thinking. She was only trying to be nice. There are a lot of people who do this to babies it's meant in a friendly way.

What the bloody hell are Susans?

Precious, much?