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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To contact police

41 replies

lifeis48 · 10/03/2020 23:47

Tonight an adult stopped their car, jumped out, grabbed my daughter accusing her of wrongdoing, wouldn't let her go for a few minutes and followed her in their car after. AIBU to contact police to make a statement.

OP posts:
LuluJakey1 · 10/03/2020 23:49

This happened to a pupil in the school I taught at. A parent of another child did it. A passer-by saw what happened and called the police. The parent was arrested and cautioned.

LolaDarkdestroyer · 10/03/2020 23:50

Accused her of what? Were you there? How old is she? But yes obviously call the police that's assault ! You should have called them as soon as it happened.

dontgobaconmyheart · 10/03/2020 23:52

Obviously OP, a crime was committed. Were you there? How old is your DD? What was she being accused of?

Hope she's not too shaken Flowers

Notimeforaname · 10/03/2020 23:52

Yes call the police. Also, a little more information if possible OP?

WhatHappenedThen · 10/03/2020 23:54

You can call the police and ask?

Original poster
lifeis48 · 11/03/2020 00:00

Tonight we got a call from the father (who knows husband) he says they were having trpuble with kids outside house and my daughter may know who was involved. He replies she is always in another area with friends. He mentions they called.police last week over trouble..a night my daughter was at home...and then proceeds to say oh btw a woman assaulted her that was my wife (in a jokey tone). My daughter had left the house to go to the shop for me and as she was on her way she spoke to some young ones she knew. Meanwhile they sxattered and she kept walking. The car pulls alongside her fast, woman jumps out and grabs her by both arms..saying I have a child with special needs etc. My daughter says yes I understand that but I didn't do anything please let go of me. After letting go she follows her in the car. When she came home obv after the call we questioned her and she told us what happened. We both went to their house. Of course she was all nice until she realised we were angry and I said never lay your hands on my child again. Not sure what to do. Apparently she has a habit of doing this and him.

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeis48 · 11/03/2020 00:06

My daughter is 13. I realise they must be having trouble with kids throwing stones but I am angry that (1) she has no evidence and never saw her (2) she more or less accused her of involvement last week when she was home (3) she laid her hands on her and (4) I believe my daughter is being unfairly accused of something she didn't do and (4) angry at being told 'that's the kind of girl she is...she would not.listen to me at all because I believe she thought we were coming to get our daughter to apologise and when she realised what she had done (I believe this is why the husband made the call earlier to cover themselves after he realised what she'd done)

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 11/03/2020 00:08

Report them then. How old is your daughter and what are the SN of the other kid?

Original poster
lifeis48 · 11/03/2020 00:11

Autism was mentioned

OP posts:
Thepigeonsarecoming · 11/03/2020 00:12

Of course you should report this. Even if your child had been involved a grown adult has no right to confront a child this way. They need to let the police handle their concerns, or at the least contact the parents instead

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2020 00:16

Yes you should report it if you're sure she hasn't done anything wrong.

When your DD is always in another area, is she at a friend's house or hanging around the street?

Original poster
lifeis48 · 11/03/2020 00:20

If they have evidence yes but they didn't see her do anything...she just happened to be walking near the house after the stone throwing happened...you can't physically grab someone random because they are of similar age, dress and were passing and the husband did contact us..not to make accusations because he didn't see her do anything but solely based on her knowing them

OP posts:
Original poster
lifeis48 · 11/03/2020 00:23

Another area as in a 10 minute drive away..we take her and drop her off...these people live around the corner..my daughter was on her way to the shops

OP posts:
Lilymossflower · 11/03/2020 00:52

Omg yes report report report. !!!!

TheRealMrsHopper · 11/03/2020 07:52

Similar thing happened with my daughter, she walked out in front of a car walking home (too busy chatting to her mates) and the woman shouted abuse to her and followed her all the way home. I found out who she was and paid a wee visit to her house to explain to her the error of her ways!

We also pointed out to her if the roles were reversed and that was my husband doing that to her daughter the situation would be very different and he would be locked up and that she was very lucky we didn't go to the police.

Anyway either set her straight or report her, she doesn't get away with that sort of behaviour, ever!!

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 11/03/2020 07:56

@TheRealMrsHopper if my daughter had walked out in front of a car I'd be happy for the driver to shout at her. I'd even be happy for them to follow her home and speak to me about it. I imagine that driver did it in shock at nearly running over some kids who were "too busy chatting" to use common sense crossing a road

pilates · 11/03/2020 08:00

Yes report, you can’t start grabbing people off the street.

TitianaTitsling · 11/03/2020 08:04

mrshopper what did your wee visit to show her the error of her ways consist of?

TreeTopTim · 11/03/2020 08:07

I would report it.

The parents sound quite stressed and probably fed up with what's been happening but that is no excuse to grab someone just because they were near their house. When they realised that your dd had no part in whatever is going on with them they should have apologised repeatedly.

Burgerandchipvan · 11/03/2020 08:13

Why would you not report them to the police?

Mittens030869 · 11/03/2020 08:19

You should definitely report this to the police. However stressed the woman might have been, her behaviour was completely out of order.

JasonBrun · 11/03/2020 08:27

I would report. Then it's there should she be unfairly accosted again.

I think a good rule of thumb is- would it be acceptable to do this to an adult? If it happened to me I would call the police, no question.

Ydl22 · 11/03/2020 08:33

TheRealMrsHopper

So what exactly did this visit do then?

GoodDogBellaBoo · 11/03/2020 08:41

@TheRealMrsHopper I’d be thankful my daughter wasn’t run over, and thankful someone took the time to follow her home (and even shout at her) to talk to the parents. Next time your daughter might not be so lucky. You sound horrible.

BookMeOnTheSudExpress · 11/03/2020 08:49

Yes, you should report and point out that bizarrely, this person seems to have been convinced that on more than one occasion your daughter was involved in anti social behaviour.
Maybe they have already informed the police themselves.
The PSCOs can probably get to the bottom of it.