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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Toddler with bad injury but didn't cry.

29 replies

Blackbear19 · 10/03/2020 18:37

Anyone got any real idea why other than an initial scream he was silent?

Not really an AIBU but didn't know where to ask the question.

OP posts:
DrierThanANunsNasty · 10/03/2020 18:37

Depends on the injury. Shock maybe?

Melawati · 10/03/2020 18:38

I’d say shock. Some people do react to an injury by withdrawing/shutting down.

Pestopastamad · 10/03/2020 18:55

Could be shock like PP say.
Do you have any other thoughts about his behaviour/development. Sometimes those on autistic spectrum experience/express pain differently? Not to scare monger, just a thought.

Original poster
Blackbear19 · 10/03/2020 19:38

My initial thought was shock.
But googling shock it doesn't mention anything about stunned silence or not feeling pain.

I don't think he has ASD and I've seen him cry over normal bumps and bruises.

My only other thought is he's destroyed the nerve in the finger.

OP posts:
Wolfiefan · 10/03/2020 19:40

If he’s had a bad injury surely you’ve sought medical attention? Wouldn’t they check for nerve damage? What did he do? When?

SomeoneElseEntirelyNow · 10/03/2020 19:42

I think people mean shock as in surprise, not medical shock. It could be that he's never felt anything like it so doesn't know how to process it, it could be that he's not a cryer, it could be that the adrenaline kicked in and it hurt less, it could be that it looked worse than it was, it could be that you made him feel safe and secure and he was able to cope. Is it bad enough to see a doctor? Does he seem OK in himself?

Dibdabdobdop · 10/03/2020 19:43

What type of injury was it? Could it have looked/sounded worse than it actually felt?

Delbelleber · 10/03/2020 19:45

Ouch that sounds painful!
When my daughter was very little under 2 she burnt herself. She was so weird about it, wouldn't talk to anyone about what happened and didn't like any fuss being made of her bandage getting changed. I think she was in a way embarrassed because she burnt herself in a situation she had been well warned about. It was very odd though!

NaviSprite · 10/03/2020 20:00

Could be nerve damage - or delayed reaction (did he eventually express discomfort/upset?).

I'm a bit strange with injuries as depending where I get hurt I either feel it a ridiculous amount or not at all... sometimes a rather serious cut won't register until I see the blood (especially if done with a sharp knife as I can be a clumsy sod) and it can take a while even after registering the injury for the pain to actually sink in. Shock is what my GP has told me on many occasions but not 'medical' shock. Other times I could have a minor bump or scrape on say - my shin and it hurts a disproportionate amount in my mind.

My DS seems like he's completely unfazed by bad injuries (not that he's had many) but I think with toddlers sometimes - an injury they've had before will elicit crying quicker whereas an injury not experienced before may be a curiosity (I hope some of this makes sense but it seems my DS is just like me when it comes to injuries D:).

cochineal7 · 10/03/2020 20:02

Why are you on the internet and not at A&E. Not crying is not a good sign generally.

AwdBovril · 10/03/2020 20:07

I'm assuming that the OP is getting/has got medical attention for the DC in question. My DD is a real drama queen about tiny things - a minuscule scratch, remnant of a scab, anything. But, she's really hurt herself a couple of times, barely even a whimper was uttered. Same with illness, she was absolutely stoic about chicken pox, but makes a monumental fuss about a runny nose.

Please reassure us that the child has been seen by a doctor, OP?

Cheerbear23 · 10/03/2020 20:09

I’d guess shock too, my DS had a bad accident aged 4 and just collapsed to the floor, no screaming or crying.

Original poster
Blackbear19 · 10/03/2020 20:10

He's had medical attention. The injury has been dealt with.

However I am trying to process what happened and the lack of crying is something that is playing on my mind.
My initial thought was medical shock but that doesn't seem to be the answer.

The adrenaline that someone suggested could well be it!

OP posts:
johnstonfont · 10/03/2020 20:12

Kids who are badly injured often don't make a fuss.

IME the minor stuff often generates a lot of tears & noise.

More significant stuff = stunned silence.

Professionally I worry a lot more about the quiet kids.

Original poster
Blackbear19 · 10/03/2020 20:17

Johnstonfont

That's it in a nutshell stunned silence but why?

OP posts:
WyfOfBathe · 10/03/2020 20:25

I think it's quite normal, although I don't know the reason.

I always made a big fuss about scraped knees and things as a child - far more than my DC do - but I fell and broke my ankle when I was 9 and silently stood up before calmly announcing "I think I've hurt my ankle." I think it was almost that I was in too much pain and (emotional/non-medical) shock to "know" that I should be screaming?

LennyLady · 10/03/2020 20:26

My now 8yr old DS had a nasty twisted fracture of his femur when he was 2yrs old and didn't make any noise at all, he was just deathly white and couldn't stand up, it was surreal and when he was X-rayed and we were told he had a fracture I just couldn't believe it! He is NT and likes to make a fuss so it made it even more strange, I guess it was just the shock

mineofuselessinformation · 10/03/2020 20:36

IME, when children yell then go quiet, they've really hurt themselves.
Dc2 broke an arm and was just silently crying when I collected from school. School thought it was just a break. One look at them and I knew it was serious.

Original poster
Blackbear19 · 10/03/2020 20:47

Good to hear that it is normal for kids to go really quiet. The more I've been thinking about it the more its been freaking me out.

I'm fortunate in a sense that this is the first ever 'that needs a hospital' type injury I've seen or had to deal with.

OP posts:
PennyArrowBar · 10/03/2020 21:11

IME, when children yell then go quiet, they've really hurt themselves.

This. My sister used to throw herself off horses (also called "showjumping") and when she came off and was winded but otherwise fine, she'd make a fuss. When she hurt herself, she was pale and quiet and my dad used to whip her off to the hospital.

thirstyformore · 10/03/2020 21:22

When my dd was a toddler I thought she had touched my straighteners whilst they were on. But

thirstyformore · 10/03/2020 21:23

Posted too soon!!

But as she hadn't made a peep I assumed she hadn't actually touched them.

The next day she had a huge blister.....

cakeandchampagne · 10/03/2020 21:26

He might get a little clingy or fussy later instead.

Whatsername177 · 10/03/2020 21:26

I once had a 13 year old boy shout 'miss, is this broken?' As I turned around I saw his forearm was bent like a banana. He had broken it to two places. No screaming or crying. He was fine.

nokidshere · 10/03/2020 21:27

My son cut his wrist open on sheet glass when he was 5, it was horrific and cut through tendons, nerves, veins and the main artery. He went into total shock and made no sound at all.

As a pp said, the quiet ones tend to be the more seriously injured.

Not sure why you need to make sense of it, when your body goes into shock quietness is a normal response.

Hope he's ok

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