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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Are high heels used to make women weaker?

329 replies

angell84 · 10/03/2020 14:06

I am in a cafe having a cup of tea with a friend.

A small woman stumbled in, in high heels that she could barely walk in. She was with a large domineering man - he was striding ahead, and she could barely keep up.

I looked at her, and I had a thought that I have had a few times.

Why do women wear high heels? And Why do the fashion industry keep pushing high heels at women?

They are uncomfortableto wear, they physically hurt us in the long run- I looked at a scientific study online before I wrote this. It said that wearing high heels weaken women's muscles.

And they make us incredibly weak and vulnerable - we are barely able to walk - let alone run, wearing them. I.e it suits men with bad intentions - for us to wear them.

Does anyone else think this?

OP posts:

HeresMe · 10/03/2020 20:46

Whoever said they didn't see any sexism, this post flew the sexism flag. Also good job willfully ignoring the posts saying other reasons such as health, not a - paraphrasing - wiggly bum

But she chose to wear them and had a wiggly bum that isn't mens fault.

Do what you want, women majority of men don't give a shit what shoes you are wearing. Blaming men for women wearing them is poor, most women who wear the choose to wear them.

Writersblock2 · 10/03/2020 20:48

I roll my eyes when the “women can wear what they want” brigade jump in. Yes, yes, it must be lovely to live in such a simplistic world where there’s no context to anything.

OP, yes, your observations are bang on. That’s their purpose.

Pollypocket89 · 10/03/2020 20:49

@Heresme I'm agreeing with you. I was commenting on a post at the beginning of the thread saying they weren't being sexist when they were, judging other women for wearing heels

See my other posts on this thread :)

ByeMF · 10/03/2020 20:51

Hardly anyone I know wears them but the ones that do choose to because they like them, not because they're trying to please anyone else.

Pollypocket89 · 10/03/2020 20:52

@Alsohuman good for that one woman. If that's why she wanted to wear them, she's free to do that. I wear them because I like them, my sister wears them because she likes them and ensures she's not on pain from her hypermobility. People should be able to do whatever they like without judgement or projection from other women

ByeMF · 10/03/2020 20:53

Sorry, that is worded appallingly but I hope you get the gist

Alsohuman · 10/03/2020 20:54

Christ! > tiptoes quietly away while head’s still attached.

HeresMe · 10/03/2020 20:59

@Pollypocket89

It wasn't aimed at you just these who blame an imagined patriarchy for everything.

onionface · 10/03/2020 20:59

I hate high heels. If they're so great, why don't men wear them. Why do men get to look polished, professional and confident in flat shoes but if a woman wears flats with office or formal wear then she's "frumpy". It's nonsense.

Oblomov20 · 10/03/2020 21:00

I only wear heels occasionally. But when I do, I love wearing them. I don't wear them for men, like most posters are assuming. I wear them for me. I like them, I don't find them uncomfortable.

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter · 10/03/2020 21:01

I roll my eyes when the “women can wear what they want” brigade jump in. Yes, yes, it must be lovely to live in such a simplistic world where there’s no context to anything

Whilst I totally agree that there is context to everything and we are all affected on some level by the patriarchy and our society. It makes me very uncomfortable when women criticise other women for what they chose to wear and try to make out that they are somehow "better feminists" because they dont wear heels or shave their arm pits or whatever it is. We are ALL affected by our environment in one way or another and its disingenuous to suggest otherwise. There is always an underlying implication in conversations like this that they consider themselves to be the only "enlightened ones" in a sea of brainwashed sheep. It comes across as patronising and arrogant, and instead creates divisions between women, rather than uniting us against the patriarchy. This is particularly ironic considering thats what the patriarchy wants and competition between women has always been actively encouraged as a trite media narrative.

MitziK · 10/03/2020 21:01

How does a pair of heels help hypermobility? I'm genuinely curious, seeing as my own hypermobility lead to both ankles being permanently fucked as a result of falling over whilst wearing them.

moondance19 · 10/03/2020 21:01

I always wonder why nearly all women presenters on telly wear them.

peardrops1 · 10/03/2020 21:03

YANBU.

it's not as simple as saying 'it's a personal choice' - we're all exposed to social messaging from a young age, and a culture that tells us women are expected to look and dress a certain way. Heels impede us - they restrict our physicality. WE SHOULD ALL MAKE A STAND!

Fatted · 10/03/2020 21:05

I wear them. Because I'm short and on the whole prefer to be taller at work. I wear comfortable ones. They do exist.

I don't wear them to please my man. I wear my trainers for that.

Nicknacky · 10/03/2020 21:07

I don’t want to make a stand. Well, actually I do, I want to wear heels.

Why do dose posters think that those of us who wear heels doesn’t know our own minds but women who wear a different type of shoe do?

Dozer · 10/03/2020 21:08

Yes, if they were truly great men would wear them.

Eckhart · 10/03/2020 21:10

They were originally invented to make men look stronger (by accentuating a large calf muscle)

Russellbrandshair · 10/03/2020 21:10

Why do dose posters think that those of us who wear heels doesn’t know our own minds but women who wear a different type of shoe do

Good question! I’m guessing because it’s the one area they feel superior in. Pick another area and I’m sure the tables will be turned. I can’t even imagine what kind of “feminist” judges women in their entirety by their bloody shoe wear. I mean, really? Good grief.

Russellbrandshair · 10/03/2020 21:11

Yes, if they were truly great men would wear them

Men do - many actors and singers wear heeled shoes to make them appear taller- Prince is a good example

ffswhatnext · 10/03/2020 21:16

It is a choice though.
I made a decision to buy them, just in the same way I decided to buy other shoes. including a couple of pairs of something from the ‘Male’ range.

I wear the shoes or whatever because I want to wear them.

Any company that still has this ridiculous dress code, they are the ones that need questions.

If it’s the personal view of some people in the work place, tell them to have a word with themselves. Or just ignore them and wear what you want on your feet.

Russellbrandshair · 10/03/2020 21:16

Article about the rise in popularity of men’s www.google.com/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/fashion/2020/jan/03/high-fashion-the-rise-of-heels-for-men

Eckhart · 10/03/2020 21:16

And Donald Trump.

HeresMe · 10/03/2020 21:19

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter

Sometimes the patriarchy doesn't exist for everything you know some things daft as it sounds are women's fault.

ffswhatnext · 10/03/2020 21:19

Doesn’t Tom Cruise also wear heels?

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