Are high heels used to make women weaker?

[angell84]

I am in a cafe having a cup of tea with a friend.

A small woman stumbled in, in high heels that she could barely walk in. She was with a large domineering man - he was striding ahead, and she could barely keep up.

I looked at her, and I had a thought that I have had a few times.

Why do women wear high heels? And Why do the fashion industry keep pushing high heels at women?

They are uncomfortableto wear, they physically hurt us in the long run- I looked at a scientific study online before I wrote this. It said that wearing high heels weaken women's muscles.

And they make us incredibly weak and vulnerable - we are barely able to walk - let alone run, wearing them. I.e it suits men with bad intentions - for us to wear them.

Does anyone else think this?

I don't have bunions.
Funny my ex did and as far as I know, he never wore a pair of heels in his life.

If men wear heels too, it would be fine. But they don't.

Why on earth do men have to do something to make it acceptable for me to do the same?

PhoneLock — it’s more about asking yourself why they don’t feel the need when women do.

it’s more about asking yourself why they don’t feel the need when women do.

As has been pointed out, many would if fashion dictated it.

So, if men feel that heels put women in a weaker position, but women find it empowering to wear them, should women continue to wear heels? Bearing in mind that we are all influenced by external pressures.

Nothing more unattractive than a women looking like a baby gazelle and unsure on her feet.
However, I don't think that men make women wear heels.
A lot of sisters say that they feel empowered in heels, and they wear them for themselves, not for others.
I suppose if you take that to its logical conclusion, those women would wear them while home alone, or in a world wear everyone was blind...

Internalised sexist bullshit.

I don't think men make women wear heels. If they did why do so many women have collections of shoes, some they never wear.

In my younger days I wore heels often, nothing too high (2 1/2in at most). They made me feel good, attractive, confident. My husband said I looked sexy, but then he said that if I wore slippers or trainers or boots. I seldom wear heels these days, my husband couldn't care less. I think its our perception of ourselves and how we want to be seen decides if we choose to wear heels or not.

I've never worn high heels, precisely because I can't walk in them and they are uncomfortable. I couldn't feel confident in something I am not comfortable in.

I've never had a shoe fetish like a lot of women either. I just don't care about shoes, I want something comfortable. I wear Hotter sandals in the summer and don't care that they are aimed at the over 70s. And my mum, who does have a shoe fetish, buys me a pair of boots most years for Christmas but always with a small heel. So I just live in sandals in the summer and boots in the winter. The only time I buy shoes is for running!

But shouldn't we be doing what we can to aid us to feel powerful

Yes we should and I agree with you ffswhatnext

But I see no empowering of women in this thread hardly at all.

All I see is rude belittling comments that slag others off for their choice of footwear and policing of how people feel. You dont have to agree with every choice another woman makes to be a feminist.

But to tell women to discard something that makes them feel empowered and confident in a male dominated world just because you personally dont like it, is frankly, rather revolting and disrespectful.

The thing is, I have heard comments and observed reactions to female heel wearers from men that made me suspect that men don’t see the wearing of heels in the workplace as a mere matter of equalising height

lol as a tall woman i've directly observed the insecurity ive seen from men when I've equalised (and even better- surpassed) their height. So my experience has been completely different to yours. Fancy that eh?- people having different experiences to you. whatever next!

Ive also seen women in flat shoes command respect and Ive seen plenty of women in heels command respect. If you really want to fight work place discrimination and societal mysogyny you arent going to do that by policing women's footwear and denying or minimising their feelings. You are going to do that by tackling issues like pay inequality, lack of representation in politics, rape culture, religious oppression of women, stereotyping and gender roles in children's resources, reducing domestic violence etc

But no- that actually involves work doesnt it? Far easier to be a keyboard warrior who criticises everyone else than actually get out there and do something. So please don't try to feed us this utter crap that you are against high heels out of care for women. No. Half the people on this thread have been rude, patronising and down right offensive to women about their footwear choices. This has nothing to do with ending mysogyny and everything to do with you wanting to feel superior to other women about something as pathetic as footwear.

Well- crack on with it, but at least lets be honest about your motives because they certainly arent "noble".

You carry on. I don’t really care. As I said, I am just trying to get at the truth of the matter.

As to why I wouldn’t wear them at work. I just don’t want to play that game. I’ve seen and heard the way men react to some heel wearers, as I said, (obviously when the wearers aren’t there) and it isn’t how I want to relate to my colleagues. For me work is about the content. It’s not some kid of power play where I try to feel more powerful than others. I’m glad to not need heels, or other things that are not good for my health or my safety, to do that. That seems a little odd to me. But we are all different, as you say. I look forward to a world when women don’t feel the need to wear heels.

Thanks for the tips about the other things to think about — I already do, though. We can fight battles on more than one front, thanks!

Thanks @fascinated I'm glad you accept that your reality isn't everyone's reality.

"it’s more about asking yourself why they don’t feel the need when women do.

As has been pointed out, many would if fashion dictated it. "

Doesn't that rather support the OPs conjecture that women are dictated to by the fashion industry, and to a greater extent or for different reasons that the me?

men sorry

What I find depressing about this thread. Mocking about some women need to wear them to feel better about herself in some way.

Imagine you're not in a great place to begin with. You're doing whatever little bit you can to help you feel human. It happens to be a pair of heels that bring a moment of happiness into your world.

Then you come and read this thread.

The way this reads, it is not men who are damaging us. Whatever ever happened to support each other with their choices, even if it's not one we would personally make?

That although it doesn't fit into your narrative of what we should be doing, it doesn't make it a wrong thing. As long as no-one is damaging someone else from the choices of clothing or shoes they wear, then rest of you crack on and you live your life. Don't try and tear them down.

it's fine to wear heels if they make you feel better, although god knows how painful staggerers do that.

but if you do wear silly clothes or shoes, people will be laughing. It happens with ripped jeans, oompa loompa makeup, giant eyelashes, rectangular brows, punched lips, all the current stuff. Wear what you like but don't disappear up your own arse.

I love wearing heels! I really couldn't give a toss what anyone on this thread or men think about them- I like them, so I wear them. I dress for ME, not for the approval of others.

Its very liberating

I suppose if you take that to its logical conclusion, those women would wear them while home alone, or in a world wear everyone was blind

Forgot to say- yes! I do sometimes wear shoes I love around the house. I would also wear them out even if I was the only person in existence because I like them, I love the way I feel in them and they bring me a bit of joy.

Heels were designed with the Male gaze in mind. However, if any woman allows a pair of shoes to make her feel weak or inadequate she needs to work on her own emotional health.

And likewise those who judge women who do like them...

I believe lots of the fashion industry is centred on the male gaze but heels weren't "invented for this"

Persian soldiers wore them in the 15th century and 17th century France , King Louis XIV introduced shoes with red heels and red soles to the French court. He restricted the wearing of such shoes to his circle of nobles. The practice was later taken up by royalty across Europe and became highly fashionable. The colour coding — identifying superiority and privilege — was quickly copied by aspirants.

Very much about power and status

No idea why that did a strike through in my previous post

Not rtft but when I was younger I lived in heels.

I have high arched feet and danced a lot and found heels so much more comfortable - my calves and ankles would ache in flats.

As I’ve got older and after wearing flats in work for a year it’s a bit different, but I still feel amazing when I put a pair on, love a good pair of shoes

I like wearing heels. I normally wear the chunkier sort (and delighted those hiking boots style is in now) because they are more comfortable but no problem with ordinary heels either.
One of the most comfortable pairs I have is a pair of Tod's. You'd think they would kill your feet but they are made so comfortably, I once walked over 10 miles in them over the day and didn't feel tired or sore at all. Bought them in TK Maxx for a fraction of the original price because clearly nobody wanted a size 1 shoe which looked like you could kill yourself in it but they're fab. And they make my legs look really long.
Another pair is Dr. Marten's high heels. Comfy, great, fab.
High heels are not only stilettos but you also have to be able to walk in them. Some women can't and that's where it gets ridiculous.

I’ve never worn high heels because they hurt my feet and I think it shows on my face!