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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask drivers to STOP driving so close to me.

102 replies

Vintage2020 · 10/03/2020 12:35

Why why why do some drivers drive so close to my rear? It will not make the driver get to their destination any quicker. On a quiet road it’s irritating but when on A and M roads it is so stressful looking in the rear view mirror and there is a car doing 70 MPh only one or two cars distance away.

OP posts:
TerrorWig · 10/03/2020 13:06

YANBU to ask that, but if all or most drivers are doing it I think you have to consider you are driving too slowly.

Original poster
Vintage2020 · 10/03/2020 13:09

no I drive not to slow or fast.

OP posts:
drinkygin · 10/03/2020 13:09

as long as you’re in the left lane on the motorway YANBU. If you’re preventing people from overtaking or driving at less than 70mph in the middle or outside lane YABU. Nothing more frustrating than people driving well below the speed limit.

AllesAusLiebe · 10/03/2020 13:09

Do you drive slowly? Are you in the correct lane on the motorway?

If you're driving to the speedlimit and in the left lane, I'd say YANBU.

I think some people simply don't know or remember how much time it takes to stop. I did a speed awareness course a while ago and it struck me that no one in the room had any idea about stopping distance.

Original poster
Vintage2020 · 10/03/2020 13:10

SO by the voting it seems people think it’s ok to drive close to the car in front? Never mind if they are putting themselves or the car in front more at risk

OP posts:
ThePants999 · 10/03/2020 13:10

You're in the left hand lane, yeah?

Cacaca · 10/03/2020 13:11

How is posting this going to help. Oh look vintage posted something I better slow down in case that’s who I’m driving behind.

Greysparkles · 10/03/2020 13:12

2 car distances away seems OK? Although admittedly my car is large so 2 of them would be different to 2 fiat 500's...

Are you in the left lane?

BrimfulofSasha · 10/03/2020 13:12

DrinkyGin it's a speed LIMIT not a target. nobody should be going faster than 70 in either lane.

OhCaptain · 10/03/2020 13:12

If everyone is doing it the common denominator is you! 👀

Original poster
Vintage2020 · 10/03/2020 13:13

That would be great!!! Even if one person did!

OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 10/03/2020 13:15

How are you planning on asking them?

drinkygin · 10/03/2020 13:15

@BrimfulofSasha Hahahaha was waiting for that 🙄 grow up

drinkygin · 10/03/2020 13:16

@OhCaptain very good point! Also yes agree with PP two car distances is the recommended distance isn’t it?!

Witchofzog · 10/03/2020 13:16

It's dangerous no matter how fast the car in front is going. I hate tailgaiting. Especially lorries

ThatUserNamesTakenTryAnother · 10/03/2020 13:16

So? Are you in the left lane??

Greysparkles · 10/03/2020 13:17

DrinkyGin it's a speed LIMIT not a target

massive eyeroll

If you were to take your driving test now and drive under the limit in a way that obstructs other drivers you would fail your driving test.

SmileyClare · 10/03/2020 13:17

There's not much you can do unless you plan to wind your window down and ask other drivers or get one of those bumper stickers that says Back Off I'm sticking to the Speed Limit.

I would try not to let it stress you. That and your agitated looking in the rear view mirror on A roads may be dangerous in itself.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 10/03/2020 13:18

How will you ask them? Confused

I suppose to you get a bumper sticker.

JuanSheetIsPlenty · 10/03/2020 13:18

you could get

Emmelina · 10/03/2020 13:19

Safe braking distance should be maintained regardless of how fast the car in front of you is going. What if you had to swerve or slam your brakes on for anything? The car up your rear has no reaction time or space. It’s dangerous at 30, never mind 70. Drives me mad.
I slow down a little, give them enough leeway in the speed limit to floor it for a few seconds to get past me. I won’t be bullied into breaking the speed limit.

Witchofzog · 10/03/2020 13:19

@drinkygin what on earth does growing up have to do with what @BrimfulofSasha said? I have had 3 driving instructors in my time (due to no fault of my own before you start on that one) who said the same. You drive according to the road conditions and don't treat it like a target. If it's safe then by all means do the limit. But that is not always the case.

Sirzy · 10/03/2020 13:19

If you having such a big issue with it then it would suggest that there may be something in your driving. I drive a lot on motorways but very rarely have this issue

KidLorneRoll · 10/03/2020 13:20

If you are driving at speed limit (or lower, depending if conditions warrant it etc) then tailgaters can and should fuck off. Hell, even if you are driving at 40 in a 60 there is no excuse for it.

Best thing to do is just to pull over and let the fuckwits go on their merry little way.

LolaSmiles · 10/03/2020 13:21

YANBU ask, but if you're finding that people are routinely too close then it would surely prompt the question whether your perception of a safe distance is accurate, or whether you're driving in a way that is substantially slower than reasonable or typical.

This is going to be one of those threads where anyone who suggests it's possible to drive so slowly to be a hazard and/or hinderance to other drivers must be some speed obsessed impatient aggressive driver.