To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

[squatchette]

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

what a post

(entirely UR btw)

OP, so your dd is white because she looks white notwithstanding her Asian parentage and whatever your origin is. And she is in an ethnic minority because other children don't look white. And UK is a white country, is it?

. YABU and racist.

i'm speechless at your title squatchette and think you should have given more thought before starting this thread.

What kind of parent would not know the ethnic make-up of the school they were sending there child to?

What, do you think the 'darkies' are being bused in each morning from a holding prison near dover or something

As they would say in deepest darkest Hamshipre "OP you are full of po"

I don't think you are racist. Just ignorant. Education obviously didn't save you but I pray it might save your child. It is parents like you that perpetuate the seperatist mindset. You are nothing but an ignorant mentalist as I like to call your 'type'.

There is no enemy greater than self -

Sorry..don't get it
father is quarter Asian?..then surely that means the whole class are of made up of different ethnic minorities?
Does daughter have a different father to other children?
I'm confused

[pondering emoticon about the comment what parent would not research ethinc wotsis of school..as that really never seemed important to me, or relevant or whatever....]

what I meant was, that it would have never occured to me to look at that bit...I look at how the school performs in general and what the make up is in general...and then make my minds up, if underperforming, if this is possibly due to lack of good teachers or the students that go the school....
and then I try to find out more to make sure what it is and if whatever situation is, if it would be good for my child or not...

I tapped into this one earlier: the most important things are the OP (original poster) has a dear daughter who is the only visually white child in a nursery class. It is not clear if there is an issue about language, ...or how many of the children speak one language. Praobably a good one to drop...

I also think the title post is provactive. I mean your DD is not an ethnic minority in her country but in her class. But in a sense I can see why you might be a bi concerned. I have been in position in the work place where I have been in the minority and I did not like it at all. Maybe children are kinder than adults, but in my experience of being in a minority you can feel a bit excluded.

" in her own country".....it is also the 'country' of these children, wether you like it or not. And I do suspect you don't.

Sorry for not replying sooner i have only just returned home since posting.Yes i should have said in her class not country.
I am not and never have been a racist far from it i would hardly have chosen to have children with a mixed raced man if this was the case.
I also agree that it is a great thing for a child to experience different cultures and religions as this is a true reflection of the society in which we now live.
My concern i suppose is that she will be left out and find it hard to make friends.To clarify the other children in her class are all Asian Muslims except for one Sikh boy who is also our next door neighbours grandson.
I also noticed that the children were not conversing in English with each other so surely my dd will find it difficult to intergrate.
I did read the ofsted report before sending her there and viewed it as a positive that the school was so diverse .I have myself explained about the different religions and the festivals celebrated in this country by others to my 4 year old .She has just started at the same school in reception and there is a mix of races and cultures in her class which i certainly see as a plus.
I haven't had chance to read the whole thread yet but once i have i will try and reply tomorrow.And if i am labelled a bigot or ignorant then so be it.BTW i am not a troll as i'm sure some of you maybe from the fly threads will know me well.Thanks for all the replies anyway good and bad.

Well you live and learn, squatchette, tread very carefully on this subject and say what you mean. One question -
Did you go and see the school before your child started?

i posted earlier that my child was in the same position last year.
Sqaushette did mention in her OP that she knew 40% of the children in the school were ethnic minorities before sending her child there.

I found that in our school, the asian parents preferred the afternoon preschool session as they tend to keep their children up late to wait for fathers to return home from work in shops and restaurants (told to me by one of the asian mothers before you all get up in arms about that).

So in the morning session there was only one or two asian children and by the time they all go to reception and they are all mixed up so there is a fair representaion of all cultures / gender / abilites in both classes.

Does your child go to the afternoon nursery session sqaushette?

no I don't think she will suffer.

I think its a great opportunity for her in many ways. She will be exposed to a lot of different cultures and languages.

All the children WILL speak English, and English will be the language of instruction.

I think if kids are going to go to school, there are many lessons they can learn, and this is a good one.

I dunno, "ethnic minority" children are constantly in the minority, and they mainly seem to cope. They certainly don't get any support or anything. Its interesting to see it turned round, tbh.

Hi Squatchette - glad you came back. If only you'd said in your last post what you'd said in your first, and missed out the truly offensive title, you would have got a much better response. As Mrs Marvel said - say what you mean because no-one knows you on here and attitudes which appear racist will be taken as racist.

FWIW after reading your recent post, I can understand your concerns, but I don't think you need to be so worried. Children who have English as a second language still understand and can speak it. The kids who were talking to each other in their language were probably doing it because it is easier for them, but doesn't mean that they would ignore your daughter if she spoke to them. She won't become a recluse - I think she will try harder to be understood which will be great for her development!

Also, remember that the children who are not speaking English as a first language are not all necessarily speaking the same 'other' language. There are probably others who are in a first language minority.

And lastly, remember that each one of those kids is as individual and unique as your own dd. Just because they are of the same race or religion it doesn't mean they should be grouped together as being similar. You may have found that, had there been 2 or 3 other 'white' children in the group, that they had nothing more in common with your daughter.

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist

a very unfortunate opening sentence. I need not read more to think, 'xenophobe'.

I see your point a bit more squatchette, and I'l leave it to others to respond about how your daughter will cope. But as a non white Briton, your op and title made me feel ill, so I'm glad you realised those words are offensive. Good luck with the school.

You could talk to the staff if it continues to be a concern, squatchette.

There is a huge difference, I would have thought, between a bi-lingual child and a child who is just starting to learn English as a second language.

The children you saw will be able to switch between two languages, as, for example when they interact with your daughter, and more power to them for that.

My DS was the only white child in his pre-school class. I must admit I did do a double take when I saw them sat round at fruit time BUT the kids were all lovely and their parents really embraced the school and helped out a lot and he had an excellent time.

I read this thread, think about the various abuses thrown at non-whites by the ignorant, and wonder how much nicer a place Britain would be if we banned the Daily Mail and deported all those who read it....

OP, your second post does , luckily, say more about your concerns...and I think, I can understand why you hvae them, but as it has mentioned already, I don't think you need to be concerned...if that amkes sense...

I must admit, I find the people in Britain can have a real problem about accepting other languages, dispite it being such a diverse and multicultural...
Used to go to a Mums and Tots group ( run by fellow army wifes)...and there was another german girl there, so, sometimes we would converse in german, but not to bitch, just, when we were talking just to eachother, but not in a way to exclude...it wasn't that we weren't talking to any of the other mums or anything and are unwilling to speak english, etc...
so, I must say, when the girls, that led the group, suggested that we may NOT talk in german, as the otehrs felt excluded and yaddayaddayadda....I was furious...I actually did complain about this,I thought it was just utterly ridiculous .....

You know - all the other non-white children in the class? Britain might be their country too.

And I know you said you meant "own class" but it's their class too. I can see your concerns but why should you expect it? It sounds as if you think you have a right to have that.

My dd (6 yo)is one of 5 British White children in her class. The rest of the class is made up of children from Asian Muslim, Asian Hindu, Kenyan Muslim and East European, and mixed race backgrounds. The majority can speak English well though it is probably not their home language. Out of this mix my dd's closest friends are white, mixed race and asian muslim. Went through a phase of dd wanting to wear a scarf and be a muslim but that's passed now as she wants to be a pop singer . Also a bit of a problem regarding Father Christmas and the Tooth Fairy as they don't visit some of her Muslim friends but I think we sorted it for now . I think the school is excellent in managing the cultural/religious mix and so fingers crossed it works fine.

Please don't deport me _ i read the mail whenever I get to my local cafe. But like the readers of playboy - I only read it for the articles .

My DD has been doing really well making friends with the new little girls next door who are Polish.
"Thats nice sweetie" I say "what are their names"
"i don't know - I can't speak their talking"
"But I saw you talking to them"
"oh I can speak it, I just can't hear it"
"ahhh" (with some trepedation) " go on then"

"shummsie habanodie wafiona baassino"