To expect my white dd not to be an ethnic minority in her own country

[squatchette]

First of all i would like to make it clear that i am in no way racist.My childrens father is half asian (although he is also an irish catholic too).
Anyway today i was late dropping DD2 at pre school and i got to see her whole class for the first time.This is when i was shocked to realise that she is the only white child in her class.
I think i was shocked as we don't live in a particularly ethnic area or so i thought.I read in the schools ofsted report that 40 % of the kids in the school speak English as a second language.
At first i thought it would be good that she can mix with children of different races and i am all for a diverse society.However something about the fact that she is the minority has worried me.AIBU?

Damn shame about the loss of the Empire eh? Then you could deport all the crims to Australia

Of course lots of those Aussies are now coming back to the UK because that's their cultural background.

I think Anna's point is very good, that it's up to her as an immigrant to France to do the adapting.

I dislike knee-jerk anti-immigrant/foreigner bile. But I do think rapid social change causes problems that we should a. think about solving and b. be able to talk about. Carefully, without insulting anyone and while trying to limit our prejudices (because everyone is prejudiced about something, be it sausage rolls in buggies or whatever).

just as an aside - i suppose you do all know that immigrating into this country is not just a case of walking through Customs?

in most cases, asylum seekers are kept in detention for anything up to 6 months, with less rights than a criminal in jail. i recently had a case of lady whose baby had died of rickets while she was in detention waiting for her claim to be processed.

and someone further down mentioned Australia's tight immigration laws? an interesting point about Australia - the current government has subjected the native population of that country (the Aborigines) to the most appalling treatment. there is a historical precedence for the white man going over there and taking over their land. why don't you ask an American Indian or an Aborigine what they think of immigration, i think if anyone has a reason to be pissed off about immigration, they do!

Re. the NHS, atm we are having to replace non-EU migrants with migrants from within the EU. Which is a Bad Thing because many of the non-EU migrants speak better English, which is clearly very important for patient care. But EU law means they don't have to meet the same requirements as a non-EU migrant.

Funny thing about the legacy of Empire is, I do feel as a country we owe something to the people of the nations that were part of the Empire. So I feel we have more of a duty to welcome people from India, for example, than from, I dunno. Bulgaria. Which is probably prejudiced.

UD, that's appalling and tragic. This may sound like a stupid question, but did they not have access to outdoor space? Or a decent diet? Horrifying.

McEdam - I agree and think this is where balance tipped for me as I have been verbally abused at work by migrants from countries with whom the UK has no link with about how awful our housing system is and I just think, if our system is so crap, why are you here?

I must clarify that these people tend to be economic migrants rather than people who have fled torture, whatever they told the Home Office.

edam - no, she didn't have access to outside space, or a decent diet. if you commit a crime and are sent to prison, you have to have a minimum of 1 hour's exercise a day. as an asylum seeker, you have no right. it's also standard practice for formula fed babies to have one bottle given out at the end of the day, which is kept at room temp (no refrigeration in rooms) and no fresh milk given out until the empty bottle is shown. all this is perfectly legal.

what isn't actually legal, was one of the other ladies i've helped (well, helped to help, more accurately, if that makes sense!) lately, whi was gang raped by the guards when she was 36 weeks pregnant. she lost the baby but had to give birth to him. the birth and the death had to be registered, but she was not allowed to attend the funeral, nor was she given details as to where he was buried (we've only just found out).

but slightly off the point, sorry.

The Urban Dryad - I'm not sure what job you do, but in the job I do, I see people who already been granted the right to stay and I have met lots of people who just tell me that they came to Britain for free Health and Social Care and Housing. They are honest with me about this but I wonder what they said to enable them to be allowed to say. I'm not saying that there are no genuine cases but if someone tells me they tried 6 countries prior to coming here then the UK isn't their first port of call is it?? It just that the UK offers them the best deal.

X posts. That's a sad story but the one of the MW at Chelsea & west. hospital told me that I was only allowed one bottle of formula per day and had to show her when it was finished. Sorry off topic but this kind of crap happens in institutions of all kinds.

the point i'm trying to make is that i think a large percent of the British public have this image of the immigrant just walking through Customs and getting given a flat straight away. this is not the case, whatever the tabloid press would have you believe. the reason there are council housing shortages is because a lot of local councils have sold off their council housing to create revenue, not because immigrants are taking it all.

Good God, UD, that is unbelievably callous. OMG.

Um, councils have been forced to sell off housing by central government - under right to buy and under more recent policies on forcing tenants over to housing associations and so on.

Difers - i volunteer within an association who support mothers (primarily breastfeeding mothers) within the UK asylum system. your own formula story about the Chelsea hospital shows what happens when organisations are underfunded. Yarl's Wood immigration centre (where i hear most of the horror stories from) is not underfunded. it is a private company (Serco) who have the work outsourced to them, by the government. the reason for the formula milk rule is to save money because spending out more money on things like formula milk lessens their profit margin.

Good point about Commonwealth countries McEdam. Bearing in mind that the Queen is still my head of state (I am Australian) I have less rights in the UK than an EU citizen. (Should say 'had' - I am a permanent resident of UK now).

Lots of my grandparents' generation were mighty upset that they could not freely visit the UK even though many had fought under the British flag.

how can anyone rape a woman who is 36 weeks pregnant?

Not much in response to the actual thread, but some things I had to reply to...

pagwatch - DD was talking about a boy in her class who "can't speak properly yet":
"He does speak properly, he just speaks Polish"
"No he doesn't Polish people speak like this: "Hello""

Really must get my mum to teach her a few words in Polish (my g/dad was Polish)

SuperAlienStitch (Is that you Stitch?!) - We are similar with rugby... the DC can support England in football, but DH would probably disown them if they tried it for rugby (I even support Wales in Rugby!!!).

UCM's need for a school with god and the baby Jesus - that is fine if that is what you want. For me on the school selection list I put down that I didn't want Christian based schools as her back up options - where I am a pagan, DH is a lapsed catholic, we (well I, DH is non-commital in general with religion) wanted a school where she can learn about lots of religions (including Christian - it isn't like they cut out all Christianity, they just do the others too ) and make her own choices about it all.

I probably should say something about the OP - the OP was worded terribly, the later post saying about them not speaking English would bother me, but it made me think of Het (was it her??) on Child Of Our Time - she refused to speak English at first, but this series has shown her using it all the time. DD is in a fairly mixed class - varying shades of skin, and varying cultural backgrounds - the only one ever mentioned has been the Polish boy, and that is only because they have a personality conflict!! They are all just other children.

Talking with a friend yesterday though it became clear just how completely different lives each child leads anyway, regardless of colour - some are raised by mum and dad, some broken homes, some have never known their dads, some are raised by extended family. Some are wealthy, some a scraping by. Some have been abused . Some have english as a second language and are only just learning English - some are fluent in many languages. Some have bright parents, some have much less bright parents.

I think children are the most understanding people on this planet - they don't see any of these differences - they only see nice and not nice. (They do see prettiness though - recalling that from Child of our time too!)

Bit of an essay there... turns out I thought more of the subject than I realised

I totally agree with your council housing post UD. Most of the council housing in this area and my MIL area has been sold off, to the extent that they no longer can offer adequate housing to anyone, regardless of where they are from.

Not all foreigners etc are asylum seekers. My DP has a bulgarian friend, maybe he could be described as an economic migrant. This man, hasn't scrounged off the state at all, he rented privately i think, he worked, bloody hard, his degree educated wife worked as a cleaner full time, he is a carpenter. He worked alongside my DP and is bloody good at his job and extremely hard working, he did his own private work at weekends and evenings so basically worked 24/7 to support his family. He is now in the position to buy his own property. He has never claimed any benefits and pays his taxes and therefore contributes to the british economy. Unlike some of the benifit scroungers from this country. Dont be telling me they dont exist, i know of plenty of people who have never worked and expected the state to support them. They are perfectly capable of working, they are just lazy. Of course there are those who cannot work, people with learning difficulties may find that hard etc, that is what the benefit system should be for, to support those who need it. IMO an asylum seeker who is fleeing their country NEEDS to be offered a crutch with which to get themselves on their feet in this country so they too can make a valuable contribution to the economy.

Regarding the OP, i would imagine that your DD would have felt perfectly welcome and ok with her class mates, these children are used to lots of races i guess, so why would a white face be any different to them. It is just us white people who have grown up ignorant of other cultures, not our faults, just not exposed to them, that would feel uncomfortable. Children are pretty resilient, would a black child feel isolated in a predonminantly white primary school? ONLY if he or she were made to feel that why i would imagine.

ahh yes the age old myth that most come here for our wonderful benfit system......yes some do - but the majority don't know what they're entitled to - or indeed if they're entitled to anything. Aslyum seekers are entitled to a pitiful amount of money - and most get house in homes that 99.99% of the British people on the list would turn down (damp, falling to pieces houses).

Add that to the fact that economic migrants are NOT allowed to claim benefits for at least ONE year after coming to the country therefore most end up finding work and contributing greatly to the British economy...

"British culture like most other countries, festivals, holidays, superstitions, costumes, language, history, customs, monarchy, landmarks to name a few"

Festivals - well not really many of them is there. Holidays - ermm most countries have holidays. Superstitions - I doubt most people could seperate "british" ones from others around the world. Costumes - oh you mean the funky Morris Dancers.....customs - what customs - most of them were "imported" from abroad 100's of years ago. Monarch - as yes our strong links to other European Monarchies, Landmarks - urmm what exactly are the immigrants doing to "spoil" our landmarks????

lucyellensmum - you don't have to be an asylum seeker to scrounge off the benefits system!

and did you know that the MAJORITY of people leaving the UK each year are actually foreign migrants returning to their homes country

"lots of people who don't speak english in the town centre during the day. "

How do you know they don't speak English - do you go up and talk to them to verify the standard of their English speaking - or do you assume because they're talking to someone from their own country/family and are using a foreign language that they can't????

i would NEVER describe an asylum seeker as a scrounger.

OMG - sometimes i don't speak english during the day. sometimes (rarely) i speak Dutch. to my mother. who is an immigrant!

LEM - i'm sorry - having re-read your post i can see that you said people in this country. i'm really sorry - can i blame lack of sleep and baby brain?!