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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask about children’s bedtimes (noisy neighbours).

39 replies

Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 19:35

The noise form my next door neighbours has always been a problem. They shout, yell, sing, slam doors and generally stamp about.

At the moment I can’t hear the tv because he is shouting and singing.

They have no carpets, and the thumping about carries on until after eleven.

Their baby is about 18 months. I am clinging on to bedtimes, at some point she will have a routine and they will be quiet so as not to wake her.

When will that be😊😊. Please say soon.

OP posts:
theemmadilemma · 08/03/2020 19:41

If they give that little shit about making noise I wouldn't expect a bedtime routine at all.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 19:48

Dammit😊. They woke me up a few nights ago thumping around after 11pm.

I don’t mind being woken up by the baby crying, can’t be helped. But when it’s just them being selfish, or rowing, shouting, slamming doors it gives me the rage.

I will have to speak to them, pretend they must realise how the noise travels.

Bastards

OP posts:
HoneysuckIejasmine · 08/03/2020 19:51

Yeah, they don't sound the type for routine tbh.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 19:57

That will also break my heart. The little one needs a routine, to have any chance at a good education (I am far to uptight to live beside these people😂).

Maybe she sleeps through it now - do they become lighter sleepers??

OP posts:
LtJudyHopps · 08/03/2020 20:01

I have neighbours like this. They have a a variety of kids (literally we’ve seen about 7 or 8 come and go) and 5 or 6 adults (if not more) in a 4 bedroom house. Their oldest looks about 10 and he screams in to the middle of the night... they don’t do bedtimes lol sorry to break it to you. Some people just don’t.

QuixoticQuokka · 08/03/2020 20:06

I had a routine, but not the typical British toddler routine. DS woke later, napped later, and went to bed at the same time as me. Not all parents or cultures do the children to bed early thing.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 20:11

Quixotic, did this stop when your son went to school?

The noise next door sometimes goes on to after midnight. Did your son stay up this late when he started school (please please please say no😊).

OP posts:
LipstickTaserrr · 08/03/2020 20:13

I really sympathise OP sounds like my neighbours and they don't do bedtime either 😭
They also don't do car seats or manners and their trampoline is so close to my front window they might aswell be in my room 😭

crustycrab · 08/03/2020 20:14

Kids sleep through loud noise in my experience. So routine or not they won't stop!

QuixoticQuokka · 08/03/2020 20:18

Quixotic, did this stop when your son went to school? It was about 9pm to 7am when he started school.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 20:18

Dammit.

The last neighbours had two little boys, and everything was silent after seven. They even apologised for the crying. I didn’t vacuum or play music after 7pm so as not to disturb their bedtime. I keep things quiet now after 8pm, and know I’m up early (6am) so keep the noise down.

I’m a fool.

I really hope these people aren’t raising a badly behaved child.

OP posts:
Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 20:19

I could live with 9pm😊.

OP posts:
QuixoticQuokka · 08/03/2020 20:44

DS didn't need silence to sleep though, not excessive noise but normal talking and music was fine. He took himself to bed or would fetch a blanket for the sofa at relatives' houses from age three and sleep through background noise. He fell asleep easily without any real routine, he was never overtired or resisted sleep, though, yes, he had a set bedtime for school nights.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 20:51

Your set up sounds much more relaxed and natural than next door quixotic.

The rows are something vicious (his mother is a particular flash point😳). Doors have been slamming for a an hour now (one seems to stick so they repeatedly slam it).

I assumed it it wakes me through the wall, it must wake a baby in the same house - but maybe not.

OP posts:
Mammatino · 08/03/2020 20:58

Because you are respectful and try to keep the noise to a minimum they may not realise how loud and intrusive they are. I doubt it though. Ear plugs and some wireless headphones for you! If you thought it might help you could have a word with them over a cup of tea. It doesn't sound like it's the child making the noise so even if it does settle into a routine I doubt the noise will stop. Poor you, I hope I'm wrong.

LooseGoose29 · 08/03/2020 21:04

I feel for you but can't give you hope.
My neighbour's are exactly the same only their child is now 4 and at school. It is just the same. Me and DH have had our mental health shattered by them. He is now on antidepressants. We have spoken to them but the don't care "its just kids isn't it" is all the ever say.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 21:09

Thanks all, while I hear the baby occasionally it’s not her noise That’s the problem.

I will mention it to them, see how I go!

But if they are happy to scream about their domestic issues at 3am I doubt they will care.

OP posts:
raspberryk · 08/03/2020 21:28

I wouldn't say we are loud but my kids can sleep through parties (in the same house), because I have never tip toed around them at naps or bedtime.
If their kids are used to it an early bedtime wouldn't make any difference, but if at 18 months they're not in bed at 6 then don't expect them to have an early bedtime at any point in the future.
It's a noisy neighbour problem not a bedtime issue.

FishingPaws · 08/03/2020 21:29

But if they are happy to scream about their domestic issues at 3am I doubt they will care.

If they're screaming at 3 am I'd call the police and report a domestic disturbance - better safe than sorry after all...

Thesearmsofmine · 08/03/2020 21:34

Children can sleep through noise so their child is probably asleep. If they are screaming at each other at 3am call the police.

Original poster
Itwasntme1 · 08/03/2020 21:38

Fishing paws. I am hoping to sell the house in the next few years so don’t want to have to admit to calling the police, or any neighbour issues really.

Although if this continues I will have to move a bit sooner. Saving up for my dream home - it’s just me who takes a while😊

OP posts:
Elieza · 08/03/2020 21:54

My neighbours make a lot of similar noise to yours. With barky bastard dog too.

They can’t seem to get the kids to bed at normal bedtimes. Useless parenting I think. The names she calls him are terrible. They fight a lot and I thought they’d never go to bed before midnight. Although since the eldest started school it’s gotten better. The small one has no bedtime yet and just just thunders around in their wood floors until gone 10pm. Sigh.

AnneElliott · 08/03/2020 22:13

I used to live underneath neighbours like that. Their philosophy was "you must never say no to a child" Hmm

Redears3 · 08/03/2020 22:15

I feel for you. We have 1 school age DD. Up to about 2-3 she had an ok routine. Would take awhile to get to sleep. Once asleep was fine, did use to wake up in the middle of the night a few times. We live in a flat when we moved in when I was heavily pregnant the family above us were so bloody inconsiderate children use to scream & shout up to about 9pm. They had people round every weekend moving furniture around tv noise/talking. It was impossible to watch anything.They moved out. When our DD was born when were continually apologising for baby noise to the other neighbours. The people above us have 2 year old. Lots of a running in the day up to about 6.30 which is fine. We’ve had a couple of times the mum goes crazy every now & then stomping, shouting when baby wakes up, they’ve never said anything about the noise. But mostly no noise from 7pm onwards. Hope you get it resolved.

JRUIN · 08/03/2020 22:28

My kids all had a bedtime routine way before they were 18 months old, so I wouldn't hold my breath OP.