How to get ovet embarrassment and speak to gp?

[Setacourse]

This is going to be tmi and i am only on aibu because it's so busy and I'm desperate! Sorry in advance!

I am in my third trimester and had a really sharp pain inside my downstairs the other day. So bad I had to insert my thumb just to try to put pressure on the pain. Sort of how you hold your funny bone when you knock it.
Anyway I felt a lump where the pain was (inside my v) and got myself all worried about it.

I have had constipation quite badly this pregnancy and have to strain. When I was wiping after a particularly difficult number 2 it felt like the inside of my v was sticking out. I called dh to come and have a look (I know I know) because I haven't got a clue what it normally looks like and he saod it looked untidy and like it was sticking out!

Had a look at tge nhs website and it looks like it may be a prolapse (?) And my dh is trying to get me to book in with the midwife or Gp every time I go to call I just put the phone down because I am so embarrassed!

I have had a really bad anxiety in the past and changed doctors and midwives recently a few months ago because I just wanted to see a stranger for this pregnancy (instead of my childrens doctor)
I am only just getting back into going to the shops and going for a walk after a really bad couple of years of completely relying on dh to do this. I was having panic attacks and just ended up staying in or only ever going out with him 'taking the lead' so asking for an internal examination is 100x harder than you can imagine for me.
I only saw my midwife once in my last pregnancy to get my notes and couldn't face her again until after the birth because of my anxiety. Just for some background. And I ended up being admitted to hospital and kept in for a week because I kept fainting and I didn't go to my midwife after the first time.
I am the type to leave it until it gets too bad.
But with a child now to think about, I am more determined to try. But I still can't do it. Does anyone have any tips on how to ease my embarrassment and just ask for help? I really need a magic solution to get some help!

Oh and I have been wetting myself really badly with this pregnancy- not just drips but cupfulls and that has been worrying me too and could also be a symptom?
Sorry its long but I don't have anyone to ask in rl.

Sorry about typos.
I am just so nervous

Print off this post and hand it to them?

You just have to remember they see this type of thing all the time and other than doing their job they don't give it a second thought.

Oh hun! I get the anxiety part, I'm also the same but sometimes it just has to happen and it sounds like this is one of those times!!
I find asking for a female is preferable and constantly repeating the mantra they've seen it all a million times before and are professionals. Could DH come with you for a hand hold and help explain your anxiety if necessary to the gp?

They have seen so so many women with your problems, this is literally (well you know, not actually literally) their 'bread and butter'.

Please go, take your dp in with you if that will help you?

But I can totally guarantee they have a) seen it before and b) lost their embarrassment on day 3 of medical school.

What help do you currently have for your anxiety, OP?

It probably won't help you for me to say this, but the professionals have seen everything before, and are best placed to support you with whatever is causing your issue. I really hope that you feel able to ask for help.

Would talking it through with someone help? I wonder if a CBT therapist might be able to give you some tools to help you.

@Hercwasonaroll suggestion is really good, if you don't feel like calling them to book could you get dh to do it for you? They will accept an appoint booking in your behalf, and he can just tell them you think you need checking over, when you go into the appointment give them the op to read.

I've booked plenty of appointments for dh while on mat leave as he is at work and can't make a call, sit on hold for ages and then wait for a call back (he's on the phone most of the day too) whereas I can call while baby sleeps and text him an eta for the call back.

They would have seen it all before you'll be fine, I remember one time after pregnancy having problems in the other hole down there and the GP on duty was a friend of mine I hadn't seen for a while and she needed to do an internal she asked if I wanted someone else but in the end we just went for it and laughed it off as being very well aquinanted now 😂 and she was telling me there is really nothing she hasn't seen before in and around down there from kids to the elderly so just relax we all have them and safety and health comes first. Good luck!

It really won't make the GP bat an eyelid, they honestly do see "embarrassing" problems all the time. I'm a medical student and I am on GP placement this year so have seen everything from prolapses to haemorrhoids to cervical smears. No one I have worked with has ever reacted anything other than professional during these situations.

You can do this OP!

Trigger warning. This is my photo. I was 19 weeks pregnant when I found out I had stage 3c cervical cancer 2 weeks ago. My baby’s blood supply was feeding the cancer. She had to pass away. I’m still recovering from the physical pain. The emotional pain will never leave me. I have 5 other children. Get yourself booked in ASAP. I would not wish this pain on anyone.

Honestly OP, the GP/midwife truly won't give a damn. They see all sorts of "embarrassing" problems everyday. If there is a problem far better to have it looked into before you go into labour and potentially make it far worse .

Do you have coping methods for you anxiety you use in other situations? Would a phone consultation make it easier for you? You could type up your symptoms in advance so you don't have to say it aloud.

Can you email the practice manager? You need to be seen so you can get this sorted out, your life is being made very difficult. How are you managing with your other child?

Are you able to access help with your debilitating anxiety? I’m so sorry you’re suffering like this.

If your embarrassment is stopping you then try putting a logic head on?
For starters, the medical professionals will have seen it and secondly, you need to get it checked as it could hinder your labour? I’m not sure if it would or not but if it’s ‘popping out’ under pressure then I’m not sure what pushing during labour would do?

I really feel for you, I never went for a smear or had internals and when pregnant with my first avoided them and cancelled the stretch n sweep the midwife wanted me to do. A year after my first was born I felt a bulge coming out of my vagina, almost phallic like. I suffered till I couldn't cope and I had an almost external uterus and my bowel and bladder were collapsing. After a lovely doctor (who I full on snotty cried on) I got help and surgery (successful still 6 years on)

I truly understand how you feel but for your health and well being its best to get it seen soon as possible. Take you DH with you, let him do the talking if necessary OP. The doctor will help, ask for a lady if you're more comfortable. Please, you can do this, don't suffer in silence and remember the midwife and whomever is assisting will have to look soon enough

Just go.
Seriously, get DP to take you but please, just go.

No help for anxiety- I just can't ask for it. I was having panic attacks daily at pick up when my ds was in nursery and I dealt with that by just not taking him every day because I couldn't face leaving the front door.
We live in a flat and if I hear the cleaner outside I wait for him to finish even if that means I am late. It got a bit better recently as I was pushing myself. Plus the school runs have to be done now hes not in nursery anymore and it is complusory. But being pregnant again has set me back and I'm struggling.
I am worried I will go for an internal (if i get to that point) and then never be able to go back. Even if I want to I just can't 'do' it. Physically feel like I am frozen when I get into that state.

I was concerned about something on my bum hole a couple of weeks ago (probably a skin tag but not certain) and I was so embarrassed to show the dr that I took a photo of it myself and showed him the photo instead, perhaps that could be an option to start?
If he then wants to see it properly at least he’s already sort of seen it if that makes sense so may be less uncomfortable.
Good luck

@TheLoveOfMoney this is me - i put things off until I can't manage. Coping strategy includes avoid avoid and avoid some more.
Then I get dh to sort it out

@Robstersgirl so sorry for what you have been through and the loss of your baby are you wanting your post edited? Your name is visible

@Setacourse please don’t be embarrassed. Any Dr/Midwife would have seen plenty of body bits with all sorts of problems and there really is nothing to be embarrassed about. This really needs sorting for you, take DH with you so he can stand by your head and hold your hand if it helps.

@Robstersgirl oh i am so sorry this is awful
I hope yourr okay

@Robstersgirl I’m so sorry for your loss and your illness Thank you for sharing, I can’t imagine how hard it must be to talk about but you have reminded me I need to book my smear so again, thank you.

@Robstersgirl I’ve read your story, and cried for you. I have thought about you since. I really am so very sorry.

@Robstersgirl I am so very sorry for what you and your family have been through, and for your devastating loss. Thank you for sharing on here x

@Setacourse do you have a nurse practitioner you can see? They can deal with most things that doctors can.

Thank you for your kind thoughts. I know my names on the post. If it stops one other person suffering it’s worth posting. I have a start date for my chemo, radiotherapy and internal radiotherapy.
OP you’ve got this