How BF reacts to arguments

[TreatBag]

We don’t argue that often but I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable feeling upset about this.

So found out my BF talks to his mum after we have an argument, because she spoke to me about it when we saw her yesterday! I felt like a child being told off rather than an adult in what I thought was an equal relationship.

I don’t know if I’m being unreasonable because I wouldn’t have a problem if he spoke to a friend about it but it just feels different because it’s his parent. I would never even think to go running to my mum to tell her anything if he’d done something to upset me. I would hope we could sort it out between ourselves, and I also wouldn’t want my mum to get a biased opinion of him if I was telling her every time something we’d disagreed about.

I don’t even know what she said to me properly because I was just sitting thinking I can’t believe she’s saying this to me, or that he’s asked her to have a word with me! As far as I know it wasn’t anything awful that I’d done, I’d called him out on not asking me about something medical related that I’d been worried about. I feel like he tells his
Mum so she’ll say to him he hasn’t done anything wrong and I shouldn’t be getting upset so he doesn’t feel bad about anything.

Would anyone feel a bit odd about BF/DP telling their parents about things like that? I don’t want to stop him talking things through with someone If that’s what he needs, but his mum?!

Talking to parents for a sounding board is fine, offering advice is also fine. Telling DC to sort out their minor issues with their partner is good.

Expecting that advice to be taken isn't fine, your DC has to come to their own decision. Talking to the partner is definitely not fine, that's interfering.

He can confide in his Mum, but no way should she be having a word with you. Its overstepping boundaries and she should mind her own business.

I'd have cut that conversation off by telling her I'm not going to discuss with her.

I'd find this unattractive to say the least - A dispute with your man, he tells Mummy then Mummy arrives to tell you off. You're not her DIL & even if you were - it's not her place.

Tell Mummy it's over. She can relate that to her precious little boy. & I'd bet you won't be the 1st woman to have bailed out on him upon discovering mummy is privy to all that goes on.

@DeeCeeCherry
👍
Dump him via his mother....I love it

@MulticolourMophead

I never said anything you have presumed. I was raised by a single parent.

More specifically the OP has only mentioned the DM, so wouldn't surprise me if so and they actually keep in contact a lot (especially if she is still single), like I do with my mother. I don't think having the occasional discussion about a relationship issue is wrong and can see why if he is particularly close to his mother.