How much of these things do you consider a treat?

[LajesticVantrashell]

Person A has done/given/bought her DC the following this weekend. Person B thinks this is excessive and that they're all treats which should be given rarely and sporadically.

1. McDonald's
2. Soft play
3. Swimming
4. A new book
5. A small bag of jelly sweets
6. A magazine

This is in between an afternoon in the park, a walk up a hill and some down time playing at home.

How often do your DCs do/have the above?

well a PP said their children would call McDonald's a punishment rather than a treat which does come off a bit virtuous

But it's not, is it? It's someone saying what their DC hate eating. Not judging anyone else, just them and their own stuff.

If someone made exactly the same comment about ragu, cheese on toast or a Gregg's pasty, no one would care.

McD fans are the ones on this thread doing the judging, not the other way round.

so I’m guessing soft play one day, swimming the other. Sounds fine to maintain some activity. Better than TV!

I don’t like mcdonalds but I took my DC somewhere else for lunch today so similar

Sweets and a magazine? Personally I don’t buy either but lunch included ice cream and I give them pocket money to save up and buy what they want.

A new book is a nice thing. Not especially a ‘treat’

I don’t think that’s excessive for a weekend

1. McDonald's - hardly ever, the nearest one is miles away. We had fish and chips from the chippy on Friday and went out for Sunday lunch today
2. Soft play - mine are too old now, but we went frequently when they were younger - especially this time of year when the weather is shite.
3. Swimming - we went every Saturday morning when my kids were small, wasn’t really a treat thing. We don’t go now as they’re teenagers and hate it.
4. A new book - would rather stick pins in their eyes than read books they didn’t have to for school but I don’t think of a new book as a treat really
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - a treat I guess but not much in the grand scheme of things
6. A magazine - when they were small we’d choose a magazine and some sweets on a Friday on the way home from school - I don’t think it’s excessive

PurpleTigerLove I’m a dreadful parent because I do things with my children and don’t just let them wallow around in the house all day of go to the bloody boring, freezing cold park! Get a grip dear! Just because you can’t be bothered to arrange things to do with your kids don’t project your insecurities on to me! FFS this place is mental!

Depends who is paying and can they afford it and how old the child is.

1. McDonald's

We never go to McDonalds but would eat in a cafe a few times a month

1. Soft play

My youngest is 7 so we are beginning to move on from this stage of life. I rarely paid for soft play because it's a ring of hell but at the all class birthday party stage we were at them the whole time. It's a healthy activity for the DC but I guess a treat

1. Swimming

DS (7) has swimming lessons weekly and his big sisters are in the swimming club so are there multiple times a week. I swim every day before work. It's a great exercise, not a treat.

1. A new book

Bookworms here so buy books all the time. Bought myself and DD1 a book this weekend. It is a treat but a small and necessary one.

1. A small bag of jelly sweets

Not something I'd go out and buy for the DC but they seem to acquire sweets all the time anyway.

1. A magazine

We have subscriptions to 3 magazines, 2 come weekly and 1 monthly. We get Whizz, Pop, Bang (science magazine), The Week (children's newspaper) and The Beano. Hate the magazines in the supermarkets that are all adverts and plastic toys though.

Thinking about my youngest this weekend. He got the magazines we subscribe to, a family trip out to a ceilidh (so included a meal out and sweets), a cycle ride with DH, swimming lesson, and will read the book I bought for DD1 later. Doesn't feel particularly excessive but we can easily afford it all.

I don’t think it’s excessive. What was the SIL’s problem with it. If your child was doing activities, he could easily be doing more in a weekend. Eg my 3 year old (so similar age to yours) had 2 activities and a play date this weekend And her baby sister had swimming. She has at least a full afternoon of just messing around at home/relaxing and if she hasn’t had a play date we’d have done something like swimming and softplay. We need to be busy ish of a weekend or we all go slightly mad.

McDonald’s wouldn’t be a treat for us (only go at service stations) but some weekends I take her out for a hot chocolate and cake or we’d go to a restaurant as a family so no real difference in the principle of eating out.

Sweets- I rarely buy but every few weeks I’ll let her pick a treat after an activity eg a biscuit or crisps.

Magazine- she’s had one in the last year and I resented paying £5 for a bit of spangly frozen tat and an unread magazine. She can spend and birthday or pocket money on these in the future if she wants.

Books- I’ll pick them up if I fancy them as I do like a variety but she’d be excited and see it as a treat. At the age our children are, books are so important.

thegreenlight I thought that post was odd too. Of course you’re not a dreadful parent.

My DC are teens now but I'd say this was a fairly normal weekend. But I always worked fulltime so couldnt do any of this in the week. Some weekends would be much more low key though....visit grandparents, watch films, play in garden etc.

I have never met a child yet who wouldn’t eat Mc Donald’s . I think some posters are overestimating their children’s tastebuds

Genuinely my 3.5yo won't eat them. I wish he would, it would make life easier when we're out and about.

I have never met a child yet who wouldn’t eat Mc Donald’s . I think some posters are overestimating their children’s tastebuds

i’ve got 2 of them. Too fatty and far too salty. both do like chips and chicken, but not the macdonalds version of pressed chicken bits and limp chips!

* bloody boring, freezing cold park*
where are you, in antarctica?
get proper clothes, and out you go. its absolutely possible to spend a great day in the park frequently, in winter. softplay is much easier, granted.
but going to softplay doesn’t make you a good/bad parent, so stop judging

I wouldn’t limit the amount of swimming, soft play (apart from for my own sanity) or books. The rest are treats which I would limit.

Is it a cost issue?

Mumsnet is full of posters declaring that they can do a full family shop for £40 a week ... if that is really true then to spend approx £30 purely on 'entertaining' a child seems excessive, personally I would prefer to (& do) spend a lot more on my food shop. But if you have a comfortable budget, and adequate savings and pensions, then presumably you can afford to spend that much?

1. McDonald's - definitely a treat (not for me - bleurgh - but for the kids) or very occasionally have picked up if in a hurry.
2. Soft play - not a treat but an activity. But the nicer one round us is expensive so only go occasionally during holidays.
3. Swimming - lessons not a treat but a skill, leisure pool activity bit a treat, unlikely to be expensive.
4. A new book - I would say this was a treat or reward for good behaviour. We use the library and dc bring library books home from school to get a variety of books, and get second hand ones from charity shops and school fetes etc.
5. A small bag of jelly sweets - treat definitely.
6. A magazine - treat definitely.

I can't remember the person A or B thing but I think it does sound like the children are getting a lot of treats, my dc wouldn't be getting alm of those in the space of one week, even if it was school hols. Its not about cost so much, its just setting up an expectation of what's normal.

I have never met a child yet who wouldn’t eat Mc Donald’s

We gave the DC McDs once in a service station when they were small, they all hated them. Didn't like the weird cheese. The older two eat my homemade burgers and have been to McD without me now but aren't fussed about them, they'd rather have a pizza (probably worse from a health point of view!). DS is pretty fussy about a lot of meat and won't eat any burgers even though he has seen me make them from mince and he loves mince. Weirdo!

I have never met a child yet who wouldn’t eat Mc Donald’s Mine has only ever liked the chicken wraps. He wont eat american style burger buns or plastic cheese. He prefers a 'proper' burger or some jerk chicken or a curry.

Mine only like the nuggets or wraps.

They won't eat the burgers either

I have never met a child yet who wouldn’t eat Mc Donald’s

Mine won't, never has done. And that isn't a weird stealth boast, as she would happily eat her bodyweight in chocolate or other crap. She just doesn't like MacDonalds food, probably because it's rank.

OP what does your SiL expect you to do with your child at the weekend.? They all seem standard stuff to me and its up to you what you do at the weekend.. It's also often much easier to go out iwth them than stay in the house all the time.
As I said upthread I did 4 of those things with my GC on Saturday and it didn't seem excessive. . The books were bought with book day vouchers so only £1 each.

None of that sounds like a treat to me, we do all that quite regularly.

I agree with person A

You do know McDonald's sells fish fingers and chips for kids.

Just because person A gave all those "treats" in one weekend, doesn't mean they weren't sporadic.
I give occasional treats - occasional as in DC don't know they are going to happen. There can still be more than one in the same day, but I wouldn't give all those things every day. It balances out over a month, or a year.

My child doesn't like chips. A portion of chicken nuggets and apple slices isn't exactly a filling lunch, so I take her places where she can get a filling lunch usually.

I see swimming and reading as an enhencement of skills. So actually necessary instead of a treat.

I do think that a childhood without any sweets is miserable and mean, so I'd actually see it more as a very regular part of the diet instead of an occasional treat. My SIL gives her children something sweet every day at 3 o'clock. I think that that's a good idea. That way they know they'll have something soon (every day) but it's just the once because otherwise it's not healthy. It was interesting when I had my niece over to bake cookies and I wanted to sample one when still warm but had to wait till 3 o'clock according to her .