I’m going to have to split up because his phrases irritate me

[LittleBlackCurlyHairs]

Bloke I’ve been seeing for 8 months. He says the weirdest phrases and says the strangest things I can’t get over my annoyance.

One of them is, he’ll yawn and then say “oh! I’m yawning well!”. Wtf does that even mean?? I’ve never heard it said before and he says it almost every day.
Another one is “we need to nip that in the bun” bun??!! I have told him that it’s bud but he carries on saying Bun. I find it annoying.

“Keep sure you do that” “keep sure to set your alarm” etc etc ... keep sure?!

Jellypeano on the pizza

There is other stuff too but relationship aside ... has anyone else heard of these sayings?? (Keep sure, yawning well etc)

You lost my sympathy at 'panties'.

@Aweebawbee huh???

Sprigware - I can think of men I know who would use all those phrases! Sometimes I think it's a class/educational background thing too - lots of pompous/ exaggerated phrases get used in banter in public school.

You just have to look at our PM!
(No doubt Carrie will be along soon to complain about Wiff Waff and others...)

@turnandfacethenamechange asaaaarggh!!!! My ex would say that, but would say the "th" part as "f" so it was "heightf" - drove me mad. There were a lot of things he couldn't pronounce anyway but then would make it even worse by dropping or adding letters like that.
Gave me the ick 🥴

Oh this’ll be therapeutic. Been sitting on this for ages.

Ex who was NOT Welsh. Never had lived in Wales. His grandmother was Welsh (his parents and the rest of his family were English and born in England and had NO accent). Yet, he insisted on using Welsh pronunciations for the odd word eg saucepan as sosspon and toothbrush as toffbrosh (his parents didn’t, so he wasn’t raised in that spirit). He would tell people he was actually Welsh (he wasn’t) and eventually named his child (not mine!) a very complicated traditional Welsh name that bamboozles everyone.

But the thing that almost drove me to murder was ‘little’.

Him: ‘I went down to the supermarket to buy a sosspon and got into a bit of a row with a little boy there’.

Me: WTF?! You had a row with a child?

No no. A man. He would call everyone little boy and little girl. Not to insult but that’s just how he spoke about people ‘the little girl that delivered the mail’; ‘the little boy who worked on his car’; ‘the little girl on reception’.

The embarrassing thing was having to explain it. He would use it in conversation with other actual humans ‘We went to look at a new car and the little boy there was so helpful’. People are like ‘how was a child helpful? Huh?’

Me: he is talking about the 40 year old man who owns the garage. Yes. Really. Yes. Yes. This is my fucking life.

Must have been confusing as fuck when he had a son. What would he have been ‘the absolutely smallest of miniature boys’?

Oh fuck off.

I NEEDED THAT.

@Cassandrainthenight - my son did the same. It's very cute when they're little, but do keep an eye out, as it can sometimes be an early sign for dyslexia (which my son was later diagnosed with).

(See the second bullet point here: www.brightstar-learning.com/dyslexia/warning-signs-of-dyslexia/)

@Pebbles574,

OMG more than half the points apply to her! Even including the fact that we still are not sure if she's left or right handed, she uses both equally/ish (used to favour the left). Something to think about, I'm gonna send this to DH. She mispronounces loads of words but switches to correct versions if we systematically correct her...

I know someone who wrote to his dp in regards to the meeting we have

the meeting was dinner that night-hes now an ex

@grudieabbey that little boy stuff is seriously fucking weird. And very funny to read about. How did you not leave little lego people around on the floor by his side of the bed, for him to step on in the morning with bare feet? Or just lamp him one?

I had a "bisketti" for spaghetti toddler too. Little ones sayingt hings wrong is cute.

When I was younger my flatmate broke up with her beautiful boyfriend as he would proclaim "That's all folks" after they had sex. It was a turnoff the first time but she thought perhaps he was nervous, but he did it everytime, sometimes changing it a bit to saying it with a stutter like Porky Pig rather than a Bugs Bunny intonation. He also used to shout "kawabunga" when he was just about to come.

That's all folks - @SapatSea - you win the thread!

Oh god, my dh seriously thinks Weetabix is Weetabits

But why? It's written, correctly, in fucking ENORMOUS letters on the front of the packet, can he not read?

And spaghetti is bisketti in this house (occasionally) too. All five of mine said it at some point. But pigeons are pimms and swans are thnons because of toddler mispronunciations - only within the family though. Anyone outside would think I was mad if I pointed at a flock of birds and shouted 'Look! Pimms!'

Sometimes I think it's a class/educational background thing too - lots of pompous/ exaggerated phrases get used in banter in public school.

I agree, @Pebbles574, and I've certainly encountered that, but this friend of mine is not at all a public school type, he's a lower-middle class ex-grammar school boy, not originally from the UK, and definitely not from a background where anyone was saying that kind of thing.

I have asked him via text whether he's OK a couple of recently (divorce) and his reply is 'I wax lightly lachrymose' or 'I continue unabashed'. He also says 'Wagons roll' any time he's setting off for anywhere, which makes me want to stick a fork in the back of his hand.

I’m so glad I read through to the technical problems thank you Op!!

We call squirrels squizzles in this house. From when we had a dog, we always called thenm squizzles to her.

eventually named his child (not mine!) a very complicated traditional Welsh name that bamboozles everyone

It's not Myfanwy, is it?

@Sprigware I think I love your dad a bit

@grudieabbey you've made my day.

Also managed to read it in a Welsh accent.
Am not Welsh either 😂

Love this thread!

I always say Glubs for gloves, as my brother said this as a toddler

My parents do have some annoying ones conserv a traaaa for conservatory, no idea where that comes from, but think they think it sounds posh.

I have a habit of saying as "I told you before" in case I'm repeating myself. I'm sleep deprived in my defence, so I can't remember who I said what to.

I had a boyfriend who would say
Washing my teeth instead of brushing. Oh I need to wash my feet teeth.

He also said twoozers instead of trousers, but was a highly successful professional.

Language is very regional, people don't get my jokes around these here parts.

I have asked him via text whether he's OK a couple of recently (divorce) and his reply is 'I wax lightly lachrymose' or 'I continue unabashed'. He also says 'Wagons roll' any time he's setting off for anywhere, which makes me want to stick a fork in the back of his hand.

That's next level twattery & I am here for it, as the kids say.

Hahaha "wagons roll" I might adopt that.

I've realised, mumbling the pronunciations here that I'm guilty of a lot of frankly quite fucking horrific bastardisations of the English language.

It's when I "talk" to my dogs. I seem to have adopted a "toddler with a speech impediment" approach.

Squirrels - skwuh-wurls
Biscuits - biggits

I'm stopping now to have a word with myself.

Hegemony

This trips me up every time. In my mind it's hedgey-money.

Wrong fucking thread.