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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband and toilet

35 replies

Onandonandons · 08/03/2020 11:32

I'm so angry.

(I'm not the poo troll, feel free to search my user name.)

My husband is usually fantastic. Pulls his weight with household tasks and parenting, supportive and caring to me.

We've got guests coming today and last night together we cleaned up together. He stopped to put dd to bed and I carried on. He fell asleep and I finished up. I don't mind, he's had a particularly hard week at work and he would have done the same for me.

This morning, he left poo all over the loo. I'm really angry as I'd cleaned the bathroom whilst he slept last night. When I pointed it out to him, he did not apologise. First he denied it was him (it definitely was). Then he said it's not a big deal, I can just point it out to him and he'll clean it up. I said I think it's disrespectful to me to leave the toilet in that state. He said I'm overreacting. He then said that it's hard to remember to check after flushing. He then denied that this was an excuse but an "explanation".

The problem is that we've had this argument many times. Most recently 2 weeks ago under the exact same circumstances when I'd cleaned up for visitors.

I'm REALLY angry. Am I overreacting? If he'd apologised and admitted the mistake, I wouldn't be so angry. I'm furious.

OP posts:
JustFamily · 08/03/2020 11:35

How did he get poo all over the toilet? 🤢
Maybe he's embarrassed if he's got diarrhoea? 🤷🏼‍♀️
I'd just get him to clean it and move on, it's not a huge issue.

katy1213 · 08/03/2020 11:36

Disrespectful and disgusting, you're right.

HeartyGreenSalad · 08/03/2020 11:37

Slight over reaction but i agree., he is an adult and should clear up after himself

Oldraver · 08/03/2020 11:39

No adult should have to clean another healthy adults shit, it is disrespectful

Cheerbear23 · 08/03/2020 11:41

He should be capable of cleaning up after himself, without any reminders or pointers from you.

drinkygin · 08/03/2020 11:43

As in all over the bowl, or smeared around the seat and the cistern? If it’s the former I think YABU. A squirt of bleach around the bowl, leave it and flush an hour later will take care of it. Not a big deal at all.
If it’s the latter then you have bigger problems than the state of your toilet when guests arrive Grin

StepIntoMyParlour · 08/03/2020 11:45

That's disgusting, there's no excuse for not checking and cleaning up behind you.

Who's guests (and the visitors from the last time this happened) are they yours or his? Is it possible he's doing it on purpose in a passive aggressive protest?

Shoxfordian · 08/03/2020 11:47

Isn't remembering to check something that children should be able to do? He's disgusting

Catapillarsruletheworld · 08/03/2020 11:47

It’s gross, but I think you’re over reacting a little. Just ask him to clean it.

tiggerkid · 08/03/2020 11:47

Firstly, I loved your "I am not the poo troll" intro Grin

Secondly, you are not overreacting. I would have killed him ;)

ChristmasFluff · 08/03/2020 11:52

It's disrespectful for any adult to leave shit in a toilet for another adult to clean. It's just as easy for HIM to squirt bleach as it is for you, OP. He's basically saying, 'I've made this shitty mess, YOU clean it up, because that's your job not mine.'

He's also saying, 'I know this upsets you, because we've talked about it before, but I don't care enough about you to stop doing it.'

This comes back to the 'when you are having to explain normal adult behaviour to another adult, there is something badly wrong'. I bet this is the tip of an iceberg of things wrong with the marriage when you get to thinking about it.

drinkygin · 08/03/2020 11:53

Fucking hell maybe he forgot Hmm such an overreaction from PPs, OP you’ll be getting told he’s abusive and to LTB next. Good luck!!!

HotGlueGun · 08/03/2020 11:58

I agree, it's really disrespectful.... and the fact that you've discussed it with him previously and he's still doing it, is even more so.

Ffsseriously · 08/03/2020 12:15

He isnt leaving it for op to clean though, he has said he will clean it .

Ginnyrellas · 08/03/2020 12:15

Am I the only one thats intrigued by the Poo troll?

Anydreamwilldo12 · 08/03/2020 12:16

Its not an overreaction if he keeps on doing it. Its downright dirty leaving your mess all over the toilet, not a pleasant sight at all.

MarieQueenofScots · 08/03/2020 12:16

Poor chap - does his memory suffer in other menial areas or only this one?

What a load of baloney. Utterly disrespectful.

Mummyshark2019 · 08/03/2020 12:33

Get him to scrub the toilet and move on.

Charlesthekingcavalier · 08/03/2020 12:47

So he flushed but didn’t check that it all went away? Do people always do that?

You’re overreacting, he said he’d clean it

Original poster
Onandonandons · 08/03/2020 12:52

He's now pretending that he was sorry all along, which is not true.

OP posts:
Hellodotdotdot · 08/03/2020 12:54

My partner leaves shit on the toilet seat too and regularly blocks the toilet with his massive shit leaving me to sort it. Fucking sick of it.

Dipi79 · 08/03/2020 12:54

He said he'll clean it up. Problem solved...until the next time. 😉
This really isn't a massive issue.

Hellodotdotdot · 08/03/2020 12:55

he has said he will clean it

But she will have to clean it if she wants to use it.

skybluee · 08/03/2020 12:58

Tell him you can't wait and need to use the loo now, stand there until it's done.

Original poster
Onandonandons · 08/03/2020 13:05

@Charlesthekingcavalier the toilet needing cleaning after he'd flushed. He only said he'd clean it after I pointed it out to him.

@ChristmasFluff it honestly isn't the tip of the iceberg. Of course no one is perfect but he usually is not inconsiderate like this.

@StepIntoMyParlour it's our daughter's friend and her parents. Definitely not a passive aggressive point.

@drinkygin it was just inside the bowl but needed a scrub.

OP posts:
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